Out in the open, in that everyone knows.
Official in that we're shopping for venues and caterers. We're doing that now, over a year in advance, because living abroad presents a few logistical issues that require more time and better planning - plus with our busy summer schedule and half our friends either teaching or in grad school, there's only a very narrow time frame in which we can have the wedding we want (not so much a wedding but a party to celebrate a marriage with all of our friends and family).
"More or less" in that I still don't actually have the ring. But it has a dragon on it. I'll have a Dragon Ring! Like the Chosen One from some Hong Kong kung-fu flick. But I've been assured that it's coming soon and since nothing about our relationship, engagement and eventual wedding has been or will be traditional, it doesn't really matter.
Wedding planning already stinks - it's fun shooting e-mails back and forth to mom, but actually looking at our options, or more specifically what they cost, is saddening. I love a good party, though, so I'm sure it'll be fun again once we find a venue that doesn't have stratospheric prices (what is it with the Hudson Valley? Or do people all over the country really think it's acceptable to charge that much for a venue?) and a caterer who can do better than Rubber Chicken and Generic Meat Surprise (and why do caterers think it's OK to charge $100 a plate for food that isn't even good?).
I guess what I mean is that it'll be fun once it stops being 'planning a wedding' and starts being 'planning a big party'.
We could always elope, if my family would ever forgive me...