Friday, July 8, 2016

In which I insult spam-brained buttmuppets in the British style

The person who decides what is published in The National Interest is clearly a malfunctioning douche-schooner:

"Later that day, though, a spokesman for the Taiwan Affairs Office of the State Council charged that the incident “caused severe impact at a time when the mainland has repeatedly emphasized development of peaceful cross-strait relations.”

More fundamentally, the accident was yet another step in the deterioration of relations between Beijing and Taipei since the election of Democratic Progressive Party president and legislature."

The missile firing was an accident, and Beijing is not the one calling for "peaceful development of Taiwan relations", you bollock-fisted douchewagon. Or rather, that's what they say but unless you are an ball-scented minge-magnet (which you are), you would understand that as they say this, they are also openly willing to say that their eventual goal is annexation of Taiwan, "by force if necessary". This means that they do not believe the consent of Taiwan and the Taiwanese people is necessary to for annexation. This is not "peaceful", you sorry sack of barf pudding.

This spanner-faced rent-a-clown thinks the Sunflowers were "anti-Beijing" (not correct, though they do distrust Beijing, for good reason) and that normal things that normal countries do are baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad because it hurts Beijing's poor widdle feewings or something. Also, that the chief aim of the democratically-elected Taiwanese government should be to make sure Beijing always feels "comfortable" "working" with it - no mention of Beijing's belligerence in insisting they have the right to take Taiwan by force at any time.

"Even though President Tsai espouses a more moderate approach to cross-Strait relations than her DPP predecessor, her policies and especially the actions of her party threaten cross-Strait relations. For example, after her swearing in last month, President Tsai 
established a mechanism to resolve maritime disputes with Japan. ROC Premier Lin Chuan also dropped charges against anti-Beijing protesters and described his newly appointed representative to the United States as an “ambassador,” suggesting that Taiwan is a sovereign country with all the attendant diplomatic privileges. While not constituting a regime shift in government policy, moves such as these undermine Beijing’s confidence in its ability to work with the newly elected government."

Taiwan is not the troublemaker in cross-strait relations, you titwombling smegma parrot. The DPP rhetoric, and pundits' reaction to same, has moved on from the Chen Shui-bian era (which we will remind you was actually a pretty good time for cross-strait economic growth, whereas the "peaceful" Ma Ying-jiu years saw relatively anemic growth). Perhaps a spoiled can of ass-butter such as yourself has been reading outdated communiques or was simply attempting to impress his geriatric professors with some outdated "KMT equals peace in the Taiwan strait and the feelings of the Taiwanese people toward their generally incompetent and deeply corrupt governance are not important". Either way, I am ashamed to have attended the same university, and same school, as this wank-faced spunk-crumpet. I had thought we churned out better people than that, but I suppose our motto should really be "The Elliott School: Producing Graduates of Wildly Varying Quality Since Whenever".

Awww, G-dub!

This dank pile of rotted bean dip thinks Tsai's peaceful, democratic election by a large majority of intelligent, educated, civic-minded people who engage in passionate and engaged political discourse is an "Asian uprising". He (he, yes? I just assume it's some idiot white mansplaining twat-arsed hyena...and I was right!) doesn't seem to understand the difference between wanting to keep the democratic sovereignty you already have and "nationalism". I don't think he knows the difference between ethnic nationalism and civic nationalism (to be fair, a lot of the pro-independence side is weirdly anti-foreign-immigration, which I AM STILL PISSED ABOUT and no I won't shut up).

"Another Asian uprising was Tsai Ying-wen's election as president in Taiwan. Democratic resistance to an overweening China is understandable (and Beijing has greeted Tsai’s win with just such bumptiousness), but in my June visit to Taipei I sensed an impetuous bent by her party."

I don't agree with everything Tsai does - she's way too neoliberal for my tastes, has filled, or allowed Lin Chuan to fill, her cabinet with old fogeys, appropriates student activist rhetoric while allowing charges against the Sunflowers to go forward (the Executive Yuan charges were dropped, but the Legislative Yuan occupation charges were not) and proceeding to not actually implement what they've stood for. Certainly the giveaways to construction and foreign investors still seems to be a problem and we haven't heard a peep about marriage equality.

But she is not "impetuous". Far from it. If anything she's so stable that she risks being too slow-acting, you pork-stuffed cockmonger.


Single shriveled kangaroo bollock and former UKIP leader Nigel Farage

All I really have to say about this fartnugget is that if an angry shit-covered raccoon somehow got into your car, you wouldn't let it drive. So, it would not be wise to give Nigel "Shitraccoon" Farage a leadership position after he screwed up Britain's sweet ride.

While this vile pus-dripping crap mannequin should face the consequences of his actions, no way should this racist bucket of fragrant arsefoam be allowed anywhere near the decision-making process.

This is not related to Taiwan, I just wanted to lob some crap at Nigel Farage because that virulent wankmuppet deserves it.

Why aren't Millenials buying diamonds, you guyz?

It's because we don't have any money, you jizz-mopping bollock wagon! I know it's hard for the butt-chested rent-a-chimps who write this crap for The Economist to understand, but not everyone just magically decides "hey I'm going to just work harder and get a job and pay off my debt and live a good life rather than...not doing that" and can suddenly buy diamonds.

This is tangentially related to Taiwan - I have written before about how diamond engagement rings are not really something that sprang out of local culture - they're a Western import which is really a shame, because we didn't need this nonsense either.

Cockwombled asscow.

I just wanted to say that.

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