(Almost right next to/slightly behind MRT City Hall)
台北信義區忠孝東路五段15巷14號
捷運市政府站
I have two things to say about Song Chu:
1.) The Beijing Duck is divine. (那邊的北京烤鴨真好吃)
2.) The service is terrible. (他們的服務非常糟糕呢！)
Song Chu is famous for its Beijing duck - most of my students have eaten there at least once and while it doesn't seem to be that well-known in expat circles (certainly it's known, but doesn't seem to be that famous) it's very well regarded among Taipei residents. To eat there, you have to either a.) know someone or b.) stand in line on the first of the month in the morning (get there no later than 10am, and I'd advise earlier) to reserve a table. You can call, but they won't answer. People we know with high positions in various companies seem to eat there often, and I don't believe for a minute that they actually wait in line on the 1st day of the month - they might send their assistants to do it, but more likely they just have some guanxi and don't have to stand around like us plebes. I had to stand around on April 1st to get a reservation for this past Saturday (May 28).
We ordered some other food to go with the duck, as one does. Some sliced fish in a slightly sweet, slightly savory goopy sauce (it was good, really), sweet potato leaves, onion pancake and other things. The other food was good, but not great. If I'd been taken out to a basic Chinese banquet hall and fed it, I'd think it was just fine, but I wouldn't write home about it.
The duck is really where it's at, and also where things went terribly wrong.
When I made the reservation - an hour and a half standing in the sun dodging scooters with the other duck-seekers - I told them our party size (nine) and that we "weren't going to order too many side dishes, we want lots of duck. Basically only duck." "We can do that!" the woman taking the reservation said.
So I figured, you know, they're professionals, they should know that a party of nine who orders relatively few dishes (which weren't worth a two hour wait) and wants to mostly gorge out on duck is going to need two ducks.
Yes, I should have been more specific and said "two ducks!" - but then they also should have asked (they didn't).
So we eat the food, and eagerly await our duck, and one duck's worth of duck arrives. And it's delicious. It's amazing. It's juicy and fatty without being greasy. The plum sauce is truly memorable. Everything is fresh. It's tender. It's better than Celestial and much better than Wei Fu Lou. I ask for more duck.
There is no more duck, because "you only ordered one duck when you reserved."
Err, no, I didn't. I said I wanted enough duck for nine people who didn't plan on eating a lot of other things.
"But we called you to confirm your reservation and you didn't say two ducks."
"You didn't ask and I thought you guys were true professionals and should be able to handle this sort of thing."
"When a table makes a reservation, we always give them one duck unless they ask for more. You should know that."
"How? Nobody told me that. Nobody said 'one duck'. Nobody informed me of this policy. You certainly didn't tell me when I reserved the table."
"I'm sorry but that's how we do it, and we don't have another duck. You can always order more food."
"I don't want other food. I didn't come here to eat mid-range sweet potato leaves. I can do that anywhere without having to wait in line for two hours to reserve a table. I want to speak to the boss. I am really not satisfied. I expected better."
"The boss isn't here." (Either she was lying through her teeth - which is quite likely - or the owner of the place never actually visits and lives off the profits in some hideous granite and marble monstrosity on Ren'ai Road, which I concede is also likely.)
Well.
We didn't really get an apology - a mumbled 不好意思 doesn't count. We didn't get anything that would have made me satisfied. Call me spoiled but if I'm going to go to some effort to eat somewhere, I expect satisfaction equal to the time and money spent. I realize this doesn't always happen in Asia unless you're in Japan (and not even always there - try ordering a sandwich from a set menu but asking them to leave off mayonnaise or something), but, you know, I really was not happy.
I'd say "they've lost my business" but it doesn't matter - they're famous. They have a line that unfurls down the block every first of the month. My decision not to eat there again doesn't really affect anything (sort of like how I'm on Dingtaifung strike because as good as their dumplings are, they're shockingly overpriced).
It's a shame though. The duck is truly sublime. If they'd offered some little olive branch to keep the customer happy, this would have been a rave review. Instead it's a rant...and that sucks for everyone.
I enjoyed making a video slideshow of Taipei photos so much that I went ahead and made another one for Taiwan, set to a different song by the same Taipei band.
The news-storm brewing for months that surrounds the reopened case of Jiang Guoqing (also spelled Chiang Kuo-ching), who (for those not in Taiwan who haven't heard this already) was tortured to confess to, convicted of and quickly executed for rape in 1996, a conviction/execution now believed to have been wrongfully carried out does not just raise questions about the justice system, methods used to extract confessions or wrongful conviction for sex offenders. It also raises questions about women's rights.
As does this disturbing tale, published on The View from Taiwan, which sort of gelled it all together in my brain (mmm, gelled brain) last night.
If Taiwan, or any nation's justice system for that matter, lacks the basic competence to apprehend, try and convict the right person in a rape or sex offense case, that's bad for not just the families of those wrongfully convicted or for the victims of wrongful execution (although of course it is also tragic for them), but also bad for women and girls. Anyone who is the victim of a sex offense, or the family member of someone killed during one, deserves the assurance that the system will do everything possible to bring the right person to justice. If someone can commit a rape and then watch another person executed for it, and this can go un-investigated for over a decade, how can any woman know that justice is on her side if she is the victim of a sex crime? How can she or her family know that, rather than bowing to pressure to solve a case quickly and thus extracting a forced confession, the investigators will do everything in their power to apprehend not just anyone but the actual person who committed the crime?
It leaves the tragedy of the crime against the woman unaddressed as well as allows the actual rapists, murderers and sex offenders to go free (and if the case gets enough publicity, allows future criminals to feel as though the gamble that they won't get caught is worth it).
Michael's story is equally disturbing - other than picking the girl up in the science park and bringing her home, there is nothing in his story to suggest that the police will actually apprehend Mr. Wang Yo (although there is also no evidence that they are not trying). There's the fact that after committing such a heinous crime, he still felt he could call her family to "apologize" (in all likelihood a subtle threat to them know that he knows how to find them) without repercussions - clearly a man with no fear of the justice system.
The treatment of the girl at school after the incident is even worse - this is not how one handles such cases. All this does is marginalize females even more. This is exactly the sort of behavior that creates a demented anti-woman society. The teacher that publicly humiliated the girl deserves to be fired, thrown in jail and forced to pay compensation, as well...and (s)he probably won't be made to suffer any of that.
This is not to say that fearing getting caught is necessarily a deterrent to rapists and other sex offenders. If it were, we'd probably have fewer sex crimes around the world. Clearly there will be people who will commit the crime regardless of the possible consequences. I can't help but think, though, that more of this occurs in places where being caught and made to suffer the consequences is not as likely.
It also says a lot regarding the state of sex education and real-world discussions among Taiwanese mothers and their daughters. The girl in this incident quite likely was not educated in the very real dangers of this sort of activity (although it is possible that she was, and chose to ignore her mother's words).
Despite the fact that sex education seems to be more open in Taiwan than in many parts of the USA - I have seen sexual safety advertisements on the TVs in the MRT here! - I hear stories in Taiwan that terrify me regarding the state of girls' sex education. Everything from "your mother doesn't mind that your older sister lives with her boyfriend? So she won't mind if your sister gets pregnant?" to "But if I use a tampon, I can't pee because the hole will be blocked" to the alarming state of naivete of a fourteen year old girl. That said, she had her friends are only fourteen and will have some degree of naivete and immaturity. I do feel, though, that their education in these matters could have been better.
Finally, a comment on Michael's post disturbs me almost as much as the story itself - one commenter said the man was blameless - "if someone wants to jump off a bridge, who can blame the bridge?" - while probably an expat, the fact that this kind of mindset, that a sick pervert is just an inert pawn in some naive little girl's plot to be molested, is really, truly horrifying. This is an attitude that can't be wiped off the face of the Earth fast enough, for the good of not just women, but for everyone.
I do still believe that Taiwan is a safe place for women and our daughters. I do believe that I am far safer here than I ever was living in Washington, DC (or even my small hometown). I do believe that Taiwan's generally low crime rate and generally greater respect for women's rights compared to the rest of Asia is not to be taken lightly. I would not fear raising a daughter in Taiwan.
I'm a bit more than halfway through that viral "30 Day Song Challenge" on Facebook, and this song (by Taipei indie band Touming Magazine) was not on YouTube to post as a chosen song.
So...I made a video! And seeing as it's a Taipei-based band, I decided to make the video all photos from five years in Taipei.
Many of them are not good photos in the technical sense but I like to think they are all at least interesting and well-composed enough (and I can forgive technical flaws in anyone's work, including my own, if the photo itself is interesting. A technically good but boring photo is a far worse crime).
Either way, great or not, they're my pictures so they showcase my unique view of Taipei and my perspective on the city over the last five years (on this, the cusp of my fifth devastatingly sweltering Taiwan summer, I have been reflecting inordinately much on my time in Taiwan so far).
Albert Shihyi Chiu (邱師儀) gave an impassioned opinion on the spiritual and philosophical immaturity of the Taiwanese, citing qigong masters, temple rituals, doomsday prophets and other eclectic hustlers of heaven, hell and every ghost in between (“Breaking through Taiwan’s babble,” May 19, page 8).
I respectfully disagree with his opinion, not because it implicitly supports secularism — as an agnostic, I am also inclined toward secular philosophy — but because my impression from talking to Taiwanese has been that they are practical about their beliefs. While a few people still surround themselves with superstition, the vast majority are able to separate the possible from the ridiculous. Every opinion I have heard of Wang Chao-hung (王超弘), who “predicted” the nonexistent May 11 earthquake, has been wryly dismissive or humorous (“Are you sure I have to practice my presentation? Don’t you know the world is going to end tomorrow?”)
Furthermore, dealing in the ephemera of folk belief and spirituality is hardly unique to Taiwan. Why single out Taiwanese as philosophically immature when around the world, people are doing the same things with different names and aesthetic trappings? Why criticize Taiwanese when a good portion of the US believed that the world was going to end on Saturday, or when Westerners make, sell and buy “spell rings” and “magic crystals” on the Internet, pay for tarot readings and ascribe supernatural causes to everyday occurrences?
Taiwanese are also hardly alone in other spiritual beliefs: spirit mediums, firewalking and processionals also exist in India, and you’ll see similarities in saint’s day parades in Mexico. You can find an Evil Eye charm in any Mediterranean country for every ba gua mirror and amulet in Taiwan, and if you whittle yoga and taichi down to their spiritual core, you’ll find similarities there, too. For everyone in Taiwan who prays to Confucius or Wenchang (文昌帝君) for a good test score, there’s a kid in some other country begging their own chosen god for some literati luck.
I cannot say that people who believe in these things are intellectually inferior or use religion as an opiate. I believe they have a way of looking at the world that, while I might not agree with it, works for them. To criticize Taiwanese for this is to criticize most of the world. If Taiwanese are not philosophically mature, then nobody is.
In fact, I’d say that Taiwanese spirituality is a part of what I love about this country. I see these beliefs as a window into one culture’s traditions and world view and as artistic expression. Would Mr Chiu prefer that Taiwan become more like China, turning out the “old religion” in favor of ... what? Nothing at all? “Nothing at all” might be my philosophy, but I find learning about the myriad beliefs and traditions in Taiwan to be deeply enriching. Whether or not you burn ghost money or throw fortune blocks, these things do provide the open-minded with a chance to see life and philosophy from a fascinating perspective.
Brendan's hawk eyes noticed this sign before I did.
So.
Ummm...excuse me? Leaving aside the horrible phrasing of "After a century, Taiwan celebrates its 100th year anniversary" (as opposed to celebrating what? What else do you celebrate after 100 years?)...
...I would dearly like to know what happened in 1911 in Taiwan that would cause Taiwan to celebrate its centennial. Something happened in China 100 years ago, for sure, and not one but two governments celebrate it. Nothing, however, happened in Taiwan. On October 10th, 1911, the Taiwanese and Japanese woke up and went about their day as usual. In a country on the other side of the Taiwan Strait a lot was going on, but that has nothing to do with Taiwan. The sentence makes it sound like Taiwan didn't exist before 1911 - as though the KMT, despite the fact that they didn't arrive for several decades more, founded the country in 1911, or discovered the island, or something.
The Republic of China, sure. And yes, the Republic of China is the name of the sovereign government of Taiwan (which I do think should be called the Republic of Taiwan, but that's a whole 'nother rant) now, but it wasn't then. The sign would be correct to say "The Republic of China celebrates its 100th anniversary".
Which it did.
In China.
I'm sure this was written as it was to appease some douchebag from the Chinese government, or the Chinese artists listed as having worked on the corresponding sculpture (which is this one - the side is of Taipei 101 and Spongebob from my previous post):
...or maybe some douchebag in the KMT. The latter actually makes the most sense, considering that the phrasing as it is makes no sense at all. Or it was some sort of compromise that made everyone roll their eyes.
Not only should the government not be giving in to such demands, whether they are internal or international, but they should lay ground rules for these events along the lines of "you respect the reasonable language we use to express our sovereignty, you respect us and our dignity, or don't bother coming to, sponsoring or participating in our festival."
More happily, though, we also saw this sign:
The "正" should be read in Taiwanese (I believe it sounds like biang with a falling tone, but I don't really speak Taiwanese) and I suppose means "really" or "very".
A stand selling refreshing fig jelly drinks with lemon (愛玉檸檬汁) - I like this photo for the hanging limes.
After our tiring, sand-covered trip to Fulong to see the lovely sand sculptures, we hopped a long, heavily air-conditioned bus to Keelung to eat in the night market. More than half the night market is currently closed (road construction, I think) but the main eating area known as Miaokou Snack Street is still open.
Keelung is one of my favorite night markets, and I'd say the best in northern Taiwan (though I am also a big fan of Raohe in the far east of Taipei). I was devastated that my seafood lady - my dealer, as it were, for delicious sea urchin sashimi, was a part of the closed area. Good for my wallet though - sea urchins start at NT$100 an urchin and go up from there. As you can only eat the roe, not the innards, you don't get a lot for your money (but what you get is sublime, so I keep coming back for more. Mmmmm sea urchins).
Some schookids eating what I think is stewed pork rice
Some specialties of Keelung, besides seafood generally, are cream crabs (奶油螃蟹) - a whole crab cooked in cream and butter with onions and often basil, thick soup (羹) in its lamb, eel and crab forms (and possibly others), one bite sausage (below), tempura (below), and ice desserts of various kinds.
All the other stuff is tasty, too.
So...enjoy a pictoral walk through a busy night at the night market, with a few bonus pics of downtown Keelung - which is just this side of sketchy without being too dangerous!
A view of the night market from the temple's incense burner
Many night markets seem to have sprung up around temples, which makes sense if you consider the temple as a community gathering spot that has always had snack vendors outside. It is quite obvious that some of these might grow into full-blown snack markets or night markets. Not all night markets have a temple and not all larger temples have a night market, but many do.
There's a famous snack at Miaokou called "Nutritious Sandwich" - it's a piece of deep-fried bread filled with mayonnaise, tomato, cucumber, ham and boiled egg. Nutritious indeed.
Taiwanese-style tempura (甜不辣)
One Bite Sausage with raw garlic - yum! (一口香腸加蒜頭)
Lovers eating mba wan (肉圓 － Taiwanese rice gluten dumplings)
Crab thick soup (螃蟹羹) and chicken rice (雞絲飯)
I'm quite sad that this photo ended up a bit blurry (and no amount of Sharpen tool can fix it) - I love the expressions on their faces.
They look surprised, but believe me when I say that I asked permission to take this photo.
"Traditional" shaved ice toppings. The green stuff is "coconut" and is actually quite good.
Best photobomb ever! Well, not the best, but still pretty good.
I like Keelung because it's just...weird.
...and gritty with a side of seediness thrown in. It's those things too. That's what you get in an Asian port town.
We took a trip on an overcast but otherwise pleasant day to the sand sculpture festival at Fulong Beach. The sculptures were awesome, although some of them made me raise my eyebrows. The festival will apparently be going on until June (the sculptures are protected from the rain).
There are two beaches at Fulong, a slightly rocky public one that's free and popular with strolling people and folks with beach blankets reading, and a private one owned by the beachside hotel, which costs NT$100 to enter and is only accessible by a large bridge (something we found out the hard way).
In addition to the professional sculptures, which are made by teams of Taiwanese and international artists, there is a more "amateur" competitition with a clear "Taiwan" or "Taiwan tourism" theme. I'm not sure how some of them promoted Taiwan tourism, but they were still cool, if not as "polished" as the professional works. I liked this surreal one:
Some more of the pro sculptures below. They were divided into sections - one celebrated the 100th anniversary of the Republic of China, and around it were sculptures of Mazu, Guanyin etc.. Another focused on the art of ancient Babylon. One area had Arctic (and Antarctic, although maybe that was just due to poor research) themed works, and another was just odd (a rabbit smoking a hookah, among other things.
The "Arctic" themed works were especially popular. We wondered why they had this category - in Brendan's words: "to celebrate it before it all melts away?"
Just learning to windsurf - kudos for picking up a new hobby!
This sculpture celebrates the new Taiwan: Heart of Asia and ROC Centennial. I do not know why either of those necessitated a Spongebob.
This is a replica of a real sculpture - the damage to the eye is done on purpose.
Bwahaha, look at the silly foreigners trying to wade from the public beach to the private one because they took the wrong turn. Whose dumb idea was that?
...oh.
It was mine. Ahem.
Carry on.
Standing in the surf, looking contemplative
Err, I guess the Little Mermaid is all grown up?
Child on the side of the Guanyin sculpture (below)
Guanyin sculpture
Move over, fools. This be my town.
Grandma's lookin' a little buzzed at lunchtime.
All in all an enjoyable day trip, though tiring to walk over the sand with so many people and small dogs about, kicking the finer sand into the air to create a dusty pall over the beach. We recovered at Mr. Brown Coffee before grabbing a bus to Keelung and having dinner at Miaokou night market (pictures of that coming up).
Golden Peacock Restaurant (金孔雀) - Burmese #48-1 Huaxin Street (Burma Street) Zhonghe, New Taipei City MRT Nanshijiao Exit 4, exit, turn left, keep walking, turn left again on Huaxin Street
金孔雀 新北市中和區華新街（緬甸街)48-1號）
捷運南勢角站4號出口
Just popping in to recommend this place - the food is excellent and while I've never been to Myanmar, I have traveled in that part of the world and I can say that it holds up as tasting authentic.
Other restaurants on this street are also excellent, but so far this place is my favorite. There are different dishes you can choose from already set out - get the chicken in curry gravy and the powdered or pickled mango rice flavorings for sure. Their noodles are great, too, whether you get the thicker or thinner ones.
Make sure to finish up with tea or coffee - we got iced coffee and it was delicious and very Southeast Asian. It had a lot more flavor than what you usually get at upmarket Thai restaurants here.
Golden Peacock is not even remotely high-end, but the food is fantastic!
At a Washington press conference on Wednesday, Chen [Bingde] said: “During my office call on Secretary Clinton this morning, she told me — she reiterated the US policy; that is, there is only one China in the world and Taiwan is part of China.”
and
“The United States welcomes the recent improvement in cross-strait relations, opposes any unilateral actions by either side to alter the status quo, and believes that cross-strait issues should be resolved peacefully in a manner acceptable to the people on both sides of the Taiwan Strait,” the official added.
...
While the “clarification” seemed to go out of its way not to upset Chen, it also made clear — without directly saying it — that Clinton did not tell him that there was only “one China” in the world and that Taiwan was part of China.
OK...umm...
Does anyone else think that Chen was 100% clear on what Clinton said, and he made the first statement regardless? Does anyone else think that this is a not-so-subtle ploy by the PRC to start twisting around the language of what is said in meetings to more quickly get people to accept the idea that Taiwan is a part of China? Does anyone else believe that Chen knew exactly what he was doing and will get praise for it back home? I don't believe for a second that this was a misunderstanding or miscommunication - I honestly believe that Chen deliberately skewed Clinton's words to his and the PRC's advantage, betting on the "you can't unhear something" principle? Just as a witness whose testimony is stricken by a judge has still said what she said, and the jury can pretend to disregard it but really, they can't unhear what they've heard? Like that.
Saying that this was some sort of backdoor deal, and that Air China knew exactly what it was doing by creating confusion about what is a domestic and what is an international airline, sounds more conspiracy theorist, and I don't deal in conspiracy theories.
But still.
For as much criticism as this has garnered, you can't undo a first impression, and impressions like the are what drive many people abroad who are not cognizant of the Taiwan-China political situation to believe that they are one and the same. It creates an impression in the mind. It makes implications that can't be un-implied. While I don't deal in conspiracy theories, I have to ask - was this done on purpose?
I was excited about reading and reviewing this book once I heard about its launch in May (no, I was not paid for this review) – I enjoyed reading it and considering throughout how it might be of use to those who read this blog and expat women generally.
The pink cover and whimsical title font of Expat Women: Confessions might lead you to believe it’s written along the lines of a bubblegum girlie book – you know, like the Shopaholic series (I’ve never actually read one, mind you).
It’s not.
The format is Question-and-Answer, and inspired by the Confessions column featured on the site from which the book originated. The issues discussed are not bubblegum in any way – they’re the tough, rarely aired in public issues that many women feel nervous about discussing in the insular expat communities one finds in most countries. I wouldn’t call myself “connected” to either end of the expat spectrum in Taiwan but even I know how quickly gossip spreads in these communities.
Expat Women: Confessions never really clarifies if the questions are fictitious, “inspired by” or real, or whether they are unique to the book or culled from the popular column. My guess, given the range of issues and different voices of those asking, that they are at least based on real, submitted questions, with some details changed to protect submitters’ anonymity. Edited to add: reading other blogger reviews of this book, it is clarified that these are real questions from real women living abroad, and are taken from the eponymous column on the Expat Women website.
The questions themselves – which range from adjustment issues to affairs and infidelity and abuse abroad to medical issues abroad to substance abuse to job loss and repatriation – are answered brilliantly (for the most part – I’ll discuss the answers I disagree with below) and in such a way that the specific question is not only addressed, but the answer also has broader appeal to those dealing with similar situations who might see a little of themselves in some of the queries. The questions are categorized into chapters: Settling In, Careers and Money, Raising Children, Relationships, Repatriation etc.. Each chapter has a few questions that (I assume) were selected as they would be likely to have broader appeal and be a basis for advice - questions on topics such as a husband asking his trailing spouse wife for a divorce while abroad, a woman who reacted to her husband's high-travel role and contract extension in Bangkok with an affair, issues children who grew up abroad face especially when moving "home" (wherever that is), alcohol abuse abroad, reverse culture shock after twelve years in Mumbai, long work hours in Taiwan, and someone whose friend has admitted that she is physically abused by her husband. There are many more, but these are some of the questions that caught my eye.
I do believe this format is one of the book’s strengths. It is also written in a strong, clear voice, the writers have empathy but also detached common sense for all of the expat women whose issues they tackle, and the tougher questions are clearly fielded by a pro.
For these reasons, I would recommend that any woman living as an expatriate buy and read this book. I would say overall that my reaction was quite positive.
That said, you guys know me. I wear my cynicism on my sleeve. I never think anything is perfect and I over-analyze everything. Here are some things I didn’t like – keeping in mind that these issues are minor and my overall “thumbs up” still stands:
Marketing Demographic –
Here’s the thing about me: I don’t fit in to any one particular expat circle. I would say overall that I am not connected to either spectrum of the expat community – I’m too young for the cram school teachers and most students at the language centers and too young, hippie-ish and critical of the business world (even though I work in it!) for the older folks who are here on company assignments. I have my assortment of expat friends of different backgrounds and a bevy of local friends. I don’t say this with much pride: I don’t feel that having a lot of local friends and being connected to the expat community are mutually exclusive. I am not one of those “I am better than you because my friends are local” types. Those people annoy me too. It’s just how I am – I’ve always had “assortments of friends” rather than a “community”.
As such, it was immediately clear to me who this book is marketed at – not all expat women are identical, and they chose to go for the women sent abroad for business or “trailing spouses” – women living abroad due to their husband’s overseas assignment. If I had to narrow it down further, I’d say it’s mostly aimed at those women living abroad as trailing spouses, as the authors admit several times that most overseas assignments go to men, and that more often than not the “trailing spouse” is the wife.
In that sense, the book didn’t entirely apply to me, although I found a few of the questions and answers interesting and relevant - there was a question about loneliness and making friends that resonated with me, and as someone whose entire relationship-now-marriage has taken place in Taiwan, the section on relationships was interesting.
There are a lot of asides about contract negotiations, what your company is giving you as a package, whether or not you have a company car and corporate culture abroad. A lot of the discussions center around family and children abroad, something I have no experience in. I'm not saying that to criticize - plenty of women abroad do have those issues and it's worth it to bring them up. I mention it as supporting evidence that the book is marketed to a demographic that I don't belong to. There's nothing wrong with that, of course!
I came here, taught kids for a year, took a few classes at Shi-da, got fed up, quit to study on my own, and started focusing more on my job as a corporate trainer. I moved abroad alone and my now-husband moved here later. There was no “package”, there were no contracts to review. I was in my twenties and made it happen for myself. I would have liked to see more advice aimed at women who did not come over on a corporate contract or as the spouse of someone who did, and more references to and advice for women who would raise their eyebrows at the idea of a company car or relocation package – women like me. I realize that books need to be marketed to a demographic, but as an expat woman who moved abroad independently, I’d like to see more advice for my demographic.
That said, this blog has no such target demographic. I would suppose that many of my readers are younger and I hope at least half, if not more, are female (as I do focus on women’s issues as much as I can). If there are any women in Taiwan sent by their company or trailing spouses reading, this book would be of greater use to them.
I guess, I felt that the book targeted women older than me (although not all women abroad due to a work assignment are older), with a different lifestyle, different reasons for being abroad, and more of an interest in meeting other expats than spending time with locals (questions about friends tended towards friendships with other expats and less was said on local friendships, which is a very complex issue). I feel as though it was written for the women I see in Tianmu, the ones in their mid-thirties to fifties, with a kid or two trailing behind, whom you'll meet if you attend an event at the American or European schools. That's great - and I have nothing against those women or a book for them - but they don't represent me.
A dearth of discussion on issues of sexism in expat life -
I would have also liked to see more of a discussion on the reasons why more “trailing spouses” are women and more people sent abroad for work are men, rather than a blanket acceptance of this inequality. It is addressed, but only in a few sentences. I would like to see someone really pick this apart. As someone who has never been sent abroad by a company, I’m not sure I’m the person to do that (though if nobody does, I sure will give it a go).
There was also a discussion of sexism in the workplace, which while valuable, I felt didn’t delve deeply enough into this issue – an issue that I do feel is the catalyst for many women abroad to pack up and move home. The sexism can be psychologically difficult to deal with both at work and in the every day life as an expat woman, and yet it was only just glanced over. I feel an entire chapter could be dedicated to this issue alone. If we discussed it more, perhaps we could come up with a canon of solid advice that could help struggling women feel better about life abroad, handle the sexism issues they face, and perhaps fewer would end up going home for this reason.
Workplace realities -
There are a few other areas where I would not give the same advice as the book – one questioner wrote in from Taiwan, where the long working hours were killing her. The advice was to scale back her hours to something more reasonable, and if it was reasonable, the company and her colleagues would accept it. I do feel that this is inaccurate: a deeper knowledge of Taiwanese – or even East Asian – work culture would reveal that this is in fact not always (or even usually) possible. “Reasonable” work hours are different here – locals regularly work ten or even twelve hour days – and a more appropriate answer would have acknowledged this fact, and the expectations that come with it. Scaling back to a more reasonable schedule, such as eight or nine hours, would not be respected.
This is, by the way, one reason why I am so cynical of the business world in general, and business in Asia specifically.
The realities of resources -
Finally, there were many calls to visit a “life coach” or talk to a counselor or therapist. While this is admirable advice for several of the issues for which it was mentioned, the reality surrounding language issues and taboos about psychological problems and their treatment abroad was not discussed – the entire issue of therapy abroad was treated as it would be in the USA. That is, as a service readily available and while still stigmatized to a certain extent, not as frowned-upon as it is in many foreign countries.
Take Taiwan for example – good luck finding a talk therapist here (although one resource was posted in the comments - thanks Catherine!). A psychiatrist would be easy (through work, I actually know two who speak excellent English, although one is currently a clinical researcher and the other specializes in rehabilitation, so not much use for someone with psychiatric issues that are not related to brain injury), but a therapist? Who speaks English well enough to help you through complex issues? Good luck with that. There are Chinese-language resources – many churches offer counseling (but most will assume you are Christian or put a Christian bent on their advice, which is fine if you are Christian, but if you’re not it may not work for you) and therapists do exist, but generally speaking the stigma surrounding depression or other psychological issues is so great here that you are not likely to get far in your search (if I ever do find a licensed talk therapist who speaks good English, I will post a reference. I don’t need therapy so I haven’t exactly been looking). Life coaches abound, but you have to speak Chinese to avail yourself of most of them.
I did briefly search for premarital counselors at one point – we had no issues, but it’s better to do a spot check when things are great to make sure your foundation is solid, right? – and found quite little (although a Google search does turn up some leads – most of them religiously affiliated, which I didn’t want).
Conclusion –
Despite everything above, I do think this book is worth reading for any woman abroad. Even if you dismiss everything about contracts, children and spouses and you take advice about therapy and work hours with a grain of salt, there’s a lot of good stuff in here. Chances are that you’ll see a little bit of yourself in some of the questions, and even if you don’t, it doesn’t hurt to be mentally prepared for issues you might face.
We live here. No fake Greek statues, parking space with a Cefiro or colored marble in sight.
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about real estate, rent prices and location (yes, it was actually an interesting conversation). As is common in Taiwan, he asked me how much our rent was, and since I don’t mind sharing, I told him. It’s no secret that our apartment is dirt cheap, and honestly looks the part – though I think we’ve painted, decorated and maintained it very well, so it is more reminiscent of a funky pseudo-industrial bohemian hideout (think “Rent”) than a true downmarket ghetto pad.
We live a one-minute walk from the MRT, though, and a two-minute walk from a large night market, so you can’t beat that.
Oddly, though, I found myself quickly adding “…we prefer to spend our money traveling!” as though I somehow had to defend myself and my cheap apartment.
I wasn’t lying – every year we take at least one vacation that is usually six weeks long. This year we’re taking an eight-week vacation but nothing else (in previous years we’ve done quick getaways to Hong Kong or the Philippines in addition to our longer travels). I don’t know many – scratch that, I don’t know any – Taiwanese people who do that, although I do hope they exist.
It is absolutely true that rent and mortgage rates are correlated to salary much as it is in the rest of the world, and people will judge how much you make based on how much you spent on your living quarters. Interestingly, this doesn’t seem to be as true in China and Korea, where people who make more will seek out nicer accommodation, but generally speaking will prioritize more visible markers of prosperity such as a luxury car or the new It Bag.
As an expat who inhabits a murky realm between younger travelers who usually come to teach in cram schools or study (heck, that was me not so long ago) and older ones who have either stayed on or who have come on a company package, I feel as though I don’t fit into either group – and my social circle starkly reflects this.
I do feel that when trying to “place” me and draw up a set of semi-assumed likelihoods about my life, most people I come into contact with place me in the latter group – closer to the older, business-oriented expats (probably precisely because that’s the locally correlated group of people I teach here, so that’s who I have the most contact with). I’m not sure how true it is, but it does seem to be how I am mentally categorized by new acquaintances.
As such, I feel there is an expectation that our lifestyle also fit that mold. Nobody expects us to have an office car and driver (do any expats in Taiwan actually have that anymore?) or even to own an apartment – although I am constantly asked “do you rent or own?” and when I say “rent”, I’m asked if I ever plan to buy real estate in Taiwan (probably not). I’m talking more about the lifestyle accoutrements you’d normally find among white collar professionals. I have, however, seen surprise on people’s faces when I admit how low our rent is (“we prefer to spend our money traveling!”), or that neither of us owns a smartphone or an iPad, or that we not only don’t have a car, but neither of us owns a scooter and I often ride my bike to work when not taking the bus or MRT. I encountered surprise when I admitted we don’t have a dryer (“but you can get one for just NT$10,000!”) and that our hot water is still from an old-style heater hooked up to a gas tank, as is our stove. Most of our friends live similar lifestyles – that’s usually the way, isn’t it – but most of my acquaintances, especially through work, do have all of the things listed above, and probably have newer, nicer apartments, too. Think of it this way:
Me: “I love your scarf! Where did you get it?”
Student: “Thanks! I got it at SOGO. I like yours, too. Where did you get it?”
Me: “Erm, the night market.”
Student: “Oh. Well, it’s nice.”
My students, typically, do not prioritize their finances as we do (not that I ask – that’d be rude even though I am asked all the time) and it does come as a shock that we don’t drive and we don’t live in anything like those curlicue-gated and marble-bedecked new apartment buildings dotting Taipei, or that we get our gas the old fashioned way.
Honestly, if you were to see our apartment and lifestyle you’d think we make a lot less money than we do (more akin to a cram school teacher), and while only one former student has ever been in our apartment (three if you include some former students from my year at Kojen, but I haven’t worked there in half a decade so I don’t really count that), I do wonder how often the things I do say about our life cause acquaintances to extrapolate what our salary likely is – and by doing that and leaving out all the travel, they’d probably come up with a number that’d be shameful in the corporate world for anyone above the level of a secretary.
I don’t doubt that this happens, actually, considering the nosiness about others’ affairs here. I’m not ashamed of the differences in expectation and reality (although I have been thinking recently about whether/how to either make our place nicer or move), but it does make me wonder.I do like to think that people have better things to do with their time, but I can’t deny experiencing this kind of nosiness among neighbors and being asked frequently how much we pay in rent. I do wonder what is expected as an answer as an expat whose acquaintances are mostly upper middle class Taiwanese. I wonder what they extrapolate from that. I wonder what they think when I don’t meet that criteria.
I do have to say that while most of the reasons why we diverge from lifestyle expectations revolve around spending priorities (“we prefer to spend our money on travel!”), part of it is also taste. There are more expensive, nicer apartments available but when you get into the “accommodation to reflect a high income” you start to dive into marble, faux gilt, crystal chandelier, hideous upholstery, faux “Greek” statuary and wrought-iron The wrought-iron is OK. The rest – no. As one friend put it, a lot of what is considered “high class” in Taiwan is sadly reminiscent of this: Opulence. I Has It!
There are other options, of course, but I did feel it was important to note this undercurrent in “taste” in Taiwan and how insidious it is – and how, like owning a Cefiro or shopping at Bellavita (or even Shinkong Mitsukoshi), I am simply not interested (although, I admit it, I have been known to buy things at Shinkong Mitsukoshi. Rarely. But it happens).
I do like to think that if I am judged for that, that I am judged well, and I do tend to get along very well with students generally. I have a very high opinion of them as a whole. If I were judged harshly, it would genuinely bother me if I were to find out.
You don't even want to know what work is like right now...not in a bad way - with our Turkey trip looming I'm happy to be rakin' in the sweet blue bills - but in a "I am so tired and life is so hectic, I don't even have time to go to the bank let alone write a real blog post" way. Maybe tomorrow. I'm off at six and intend to spend the evening doing sweet nothing. At Zabu. Eating good food and drinking expensive beer. Because I've earned it.
In the meantime, here are two links worth reading through, if you missed them:
Go check out Page 190 of the Michelin Travel Guide to Taiwan - that's my photo!
I'm all excited about it because I'm very much an amateur photography enthusiast (it would be a lie to say I'm a "photographer") and this is my first published photo. It's not my first published creative work, but it's my first published work of visual art, and that's cool.
Makeup-free and in New York just before our honeymoon in September 2010
The fact that not wearing makeup is socially acceptable.
Don't get me wrong, I've always been a bit ornery about doing up my appearance to the point that it is generally expected of women (I don't mean I'm gross or unclean - I'm talking about things like hair, makeup, diet for the sake of being thin and adherence to fashion trends). It's just that in Taipei, I feel as though people simply don't notice that I'm not wearing makeup and didn't bother much with my hair...or if they do notice - maybe they do, and they're just too polite to let it show - I get a "pass" because there are plenty of women here who similarly can't be bothered.
I also should admit here that there are two semi-related reasons why I don't wear makeup often, and when I do it's because I want to: the first is purely comfort and health. Makeup, even the light-as-air mineral makeup, feels cakey after an hour or so if you have skin as oily as mine. Blotters don't help. In Taipei and DC, two cities renowned for their humidity, the effect is magnified. I can't do anything, like splash water on my face or rub my eyes, without messing up my makeup. I can't eat or drink anything without messing up lipstick and having to re-apply (even if it's the "long lasting" stuff, which totally does not work.) It just feels uncomfortable. The second is a feminist reason - nobody cares if a man has a zit showing, so why the brouhaha if I do? "Because women are judged more on their looks" is true, but not an acceptable reason. I don't feel the need to conform to a social expectation that I highlight my most feminine features - my eyes and lips - disguise imperfections that the male gender openly displays and generally make myself uncomfortable. I feel women should be treated equally to men, and this should also be true where makeup is concerned. I don't mean makeup should be banished, but rather that it should not be expected (by the way, I do know men who wear makeup and no, it doesn't bother me).
It's this idea that all women wear makeup, or that makeup is required to look professional - why only for women, then? Are our natural faces not acceptable professionally? Why? - or the feeling that because makeup is so common that not wearing it is making a statement...that bothers me back home, and I love that in Taipei it's not really an issue.
It's true that you'll see a lot of fashion-conscious primpage in Xinyi and even Ximending (and to a lesser extent in Gongguan and Shida) and plenty of girls in tight jeans, fake lashes and highlighted bangs on the MRT, but after attending GWU and living in Washington, DC, this subset of done-up women in Taipei seems like just that - a subset, not the basis for a full-on expectation.
I know a lot of people will say "but DC isn't fashionable! All those lobbyists, politicians and policy wonks are hopelessly dorky!" and that is quite true...but that wasn't my circle (I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing). Think young office drones swathed in MAC and Banana Republic - no hate on MAC, I love their stuff even if I rarely wear it - staffing the political offices as well-connected twentysomethings, working in law firms or driving out to the 'burbs to work in the high tech firms in northern Virginia - the ones who rented condos in Ballston and swarmed DC on Saturday nights. They were done up and I was...not. It wasn't the same kind of done up - no whitening cream or fake eyelashes to be found - but it was still a sparkly powdered, eyelined palace of feminine peacockery (the men all dressed the same).
Here, I hop on the bus or MRT and sure, there'll be the Super Fashion Girl with her toffee hair and stiltlike heels, but I can always spot another woman, even one my age (although I admit I'm totally an obasan-in-training) wearing comfortable flats, minimal or no makeup and neatly brushed but not overly styled hair.
So I could lay my social pass to not wear makeup at the feet of being foreign - "she's foreign, they're weird anyway so it's OK" - but I won't, because plenty of local women follow the same path.
I didn't wear makeup daily even when everyone else around me did, and I was fine with it, but I have to admit I enjoy being able to go out with a freshly scrubbed face and not be the only one.
宋廚(Song Chu)
So we eat the food, and eagerly await our duck, and one duck's worth of duck arrives. And it's delicious. It's amazing. It's juicy and fatty without being greasy. The plum sauce is truly memorable. Everything is fresh. It's tender. It's better than Celestial and much better than Wei Fu Lou. I ask for more duck.
"When a table makes a reservation, we always give them one duck unless they ask for more. You should know that."
