Sunday, November 13, 2011
"A Workman Must First Sharpen His Tools"
From the back side of an AIDS brochure with very low production values from about five years ago.
I don't know about the other weird idioms, but the last one (The "C" Episode) is a Confucian proverb - "Before he embarks on a task, a workman must first sharpen his tools if he is to do his work well".
Good job, Executive Yuan AIDS Prevention Committee, for using a Confucian proverb in completely the wrong setting and in such a giggle-inducing way!
Enjoy!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Ninna Sun and the Strong List
Ninna Sun (Sun Xiaomin) |
I’ve been thinking
lately about Ninna Sun.
Ninna was one of my
only two true friends in China who was not an expat. I have a tendency to
befriend older women – especially in Asia - so my other friend was Zhang
Fangshan, who was in her 70s, retired and was a volunteer in the Guanyin shrine
at the nicest temple in town.
Ninna is about my age,
but our lives and experiences couldn’t have been more different. Her father was
a factory worker from Jiangsu, and her mother a Sichuanese woman who died
fairly early in Ninna’s life. When the Chinese government moved many of the
factories of Jiangsu to Guizhou, where they hoped they’d be less detectable by
US surveillance, Mr. Sun moved with the jobs, and Ninna was born in Kaili,
which boasts a large Miao ethnic minority population. As a Han Chinese, Ninna
received better treatment in school and life, and managed to learn good
standard Chinese unaffected by regional accents as well as become strong in
English. While I was growing up in middle class rural America, she was growing
up in working class rural China. She is, of course, an only child. She worked a
poorly paid secretarial job at the school where I was a well-paid teacher. While I was placated, she was fired for being
“too friendly” with the foreign teachers, when her job was to be nice to us and
then report back on our goings-on to the school.
I mention this – and
Ninna – because she really was one of my only non-expat friends in China. I
didn’t trust any of the other local workers at the school, and while plenty of
other Zunyi residents invited me around, it was clearly a status symbol, a
“look at this foreigner who is my friend! I am so cool that I have a foreign
friend!” It was a pleasure to have the company of someone who genuinely liked
me for me, and not for the status I provided when invited over for dinner.
It’s still a matter of
great…what’s the word? Consternation? Sadness?...that when, after we became
Friends For Real, the school asked Ninna about what I was up to in my spare
time (which was nothing threatening, weird or illicit, mind you, just normal
foreigner exploring China stuff). She refused to tell them, because she
realized it was unfair to me to be my friend one minute, and spy on me the
next.
She got fired for that.
Ninna, like most women
– like most people – wanted to meet someone nice, fall in love, get married and
all that fun stuff, and when I met her, she had a boyfriend. I never met him,
because they broke up not long after I moved to China. He ended it because he
felt Ninna was “too fat” and “not feminine enough” - she had a normal build for
a Chinese girl, a facial structure and body type that would be considered
classically beautiful by those standards. I think she wore what in the USA
would be a size four. She was heartbroken, despite the fact that the guy was
clearly a loser.
Zhang Fangshan, my friend from Xiangshan (Fragrant Mountain) Temple |
My list, in no
particular order and probably with something forgotten because I’ve never
actually written this out before, rather had it as a nebulous set of ideals in
my head:
-
He’s got
to be kind and good
-
We have to
find each other attractive and have a strong emotional connection
-
He’s got
to be honest
-
He’s got
to get my sense of humor and other elements of my personality (maybe not
everything, but you know, enough)
-
He’s got
to be a feminist, which includes pitching in with housework and no expectations
of typical gender roles
-
We’ve got
to have strong communication skills
-
We’ve got
to love each other
-
He’s got
to be intelligent and open-minded
-
No
addictions, no hard drugs, no emotional or mental problems
-
He’s got
to love, or at least like, travel and be OK with the sort of lifestyle I crave
-
We’ve got
to be able to be ourselves around each other
-
Being
religious is fine as long as he doesn’t try to convert me
-
He doesn’t
have to be a high earner or provider, but NO SLACKERS
-
I’d say I did pretty
well with Brendan, who slam dunks all those criteria (sometimes there are
communication gaps but we both sincerely work on bridging them and are doing a
great job) plus I get some bonuses: great sense of humor and a hottie to boot,
who peels chick peas when I want to make hummus and de-eyeballs squid when I
want to make seafood.
All this, and I’m far
from perfect.
It’s occurred to me,
though, that I have this list and managed to marry someone who hits it out of
the ballpark in part because, culturally, I have the luxury of having this list.
No, no, wait, hear me
out.
The sexism I
encountered in China was staggering. The director of the school (a woman)
basically hid behind her boyfriend, who was the director in name only because
“businesses need a man at the head”. This same woman, when she did the
unthinkable in rural China in the ‘90s and got divorced, had to threaten to
kill herself right there in court – she brought in a bottle, smashed it against
the judge’s podium, put it to her wrist and said she’d kill herself immediately
– in order to gain custody of her son, and in the process lost everything else.
One of my coworkers was married to a local woman who married her first husband
only because he said he’d kill her if she left him, and when she told her
father, he said “well that means he must really love you”. Of course it was an
abusive marriage, she left, and the entire town blamed her. My drunken slob of
a coworker was the only man in town who’d look at her, and she couldn’t get a
job.
These are anecdotes, but they describe a culture that was deeply engrained and deeply disturbing in Guizhou and, one can presume, other parts of rural China, at the turn of the millennium.
If Ninna, living in
Guizhou - at least I assume she is still living in Guizhou - wanted to get
married and perhaps have children, she certainly could have. She was an
attractive girl with a lovely disposition and strong moral principles. She quit
her next job after the language school, at a medical testing center, because to
save money they weren’t actually testing patients’ blood and instead just
telling everyone who had blood taken that the results were positive. For
serious.
And yet, does Ninna
have the luxury of my Strong List? How
much choice will she have – or has she had – in Kaili, Guizhou, China? Could
she dump a boyfriend who showed a tendency to expect traditional gender roles? Could
she leave a fiancé who made it clear that she was responsible for all of the
housework and future child rearing, and reasonably hope to find another? Did
she have the luxury of leaving a man for being a bit of a dimwit, for being a
stick in the mud, for not adequately respecting her or acknowledging her equal
part in their relationship? Could she simply walk away, as I did, from an
otherwise great guy simply because a.) I didn’t feel a spark and b.) my
traveling, expat lifestyle wouldn’t have worked out with his career as a
US-based lawyer?
Maybe she could, and
certainly if faced with these guys I hope she did – I use past tense because it’s
been years since we’ve been in touch, and I like to think that she did meet
that nice guy and get married. I hope she stayed true to herself and found a
man who loved and respected her for it.
It’s an interesting
question, though, because, let’s be brutally honest. Not that many women
realistically have the luxury of a Strong List as we Western women and women in
developed countries do (I could argue that Taiwanese women and some urban
Chinese women have the luxury of such a list, whereas many rural Chinese women
do not). Plenty of women face the choice of either having high expectations and
demanding respect as an equal and equal help in the home…and getting married.
They can’t necessarily have both.
That’s not right, but
it is honest. It’s not fair, but it is true.
And I sincerely hope that, as we churn slowly and painfully towards the future, that the women’s rights movement takes hold in more and more countries and more women can realistically demand respect and other good qualities in a mate and not have to sacrifice chances at partnership and marriage for lack of suitable prospects.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Of Workers
Just something I thought I'd share from this:
Bill Clinton on the Daily Show Part 1
Bill Clinton on the Daily Show Part 2
Bill Clinton on the Daily Show Part 3
A really great interview underscoring what a truly intelligent man Bill Clinton is. I didn't quite understand his charisma in the '90s when I was a teenager, but now I get it, especially now that my job is public-speaking oriented.
One thing I wanted to note, though.
At one point in the interview, Stewart says something along the lines of* "they have a factory in China with 400,000 people who work in conditions that no American should have to endure...why would we want to bring those jobs back?"
I just have to ask - in conditions that no American should have to endure?
Do you see where I'm going with this? Are we the Special People who shouldn't have to deal with that kind of work, but it's OK for everyone else to break their backs and ruin their physical and emotional health to make us plastic gewgaws?
How about in conditions that no person should have to endure - and that includes the Chinese, and the Chinese government (and every other government that has not tried or tried hard enough to put a stop to it) should be ashamed of themselves for letting it continue?
And maybe we'll just have to pay more for our gewgaws if it means some workers in China have better lives?
*I realize "he said something along the lines of" is not exactly a phrase imbued with great journalistic integrity, but I'm not a journalist. So sue me.
Bill Clinton on the Daily Show Part 1
Bill Clinton on the Daily Show Part 2
Bill Clinton on the Daily Show Part 3
A really great interview underscoring what a truly intelligent man Bill Clinton is. I didn't quite understand his charisma in the '90s when I was a teenager, but now I get it, especially now that my job is public-speaking oriented.
One thing I wanted to note, though.
At one point in the interview, Stewart says something along the lines of* "they have a factory in China with 400,000 people who work in conditions that no American should have to endure...why would we want to bring those jobs back?"
I just have to ask - in conditions that no American should have to endure?
Do you see where I'm going with this? Are we the Special People who shouldn't have to deal with that kind of work, but it's OK for everyone else to break their backs and ruin their physical and emotional health to make us plastic gewgaws?
How about in conditions that no person should have to endure - and that includes the Chinese, and the Chinese government (and every other government that has not tried or tried hard enough to put a stop to it) should be ashamed of themselves for letting it continue?
And maybe we'll just have to pay more for our gewgaws if it means some workers in China have better lives?
*I realize "he said something along the lines of" is not exactly a phrase imbued with great journalistic integrity, but I'm not a journalist. So sue me.
Labels:
china,
daily_show,
musings,
politics,
thoughts
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
In Defense of Taipei
Here’s my question.
And I write this as someone one month away from leaving her old-skool back-lane neighborhood and becoming a Da’an yuppie.
What the hell is up with all these folks
who live outside Taipei who somehow think that “their Taiwan” is more real, is
better, is somehow qualitatively a step above Taipei? What is so bad or wrong
about Taipei?
I know these folks like to think of it as an
easy-peasy expat cocoon, where you never have to work to hard, study Chinese
too much or get your feet wet. I know that that can be true: it’s certainly
possible to set yourself up nicely in a foreigner enclave like Tianmu or even
Shida/Gongguan and not have to try too hard. It’s easy to spend your weekends on
Anhe Road and make only other foreign friends.
But just because one can do that doesn’t
mean that one actually does. Taipei is a Taiwanese city just like any other,
even if it lacks some of the, what’s the word, ineffable cultural qualities of
cities elsewhere in the country. It’s only “warm and safe” for foreigners here
if you seek that out. If you don’t, you can live a life that is not, to be
honest, all that much different from someone living elsewhere – except the case
could be made that there’s more to do, and not all of it is touristy.
Take a look at my soon-to-be-erstwhile
neighborhood, Jingmei. (By the way, regarding my last post, Lao Wu’s not dead.
I clearly misunderstood the old ladies, although I was certain they said ‘她過了’ so I’m not sure how). What have we got? One
local coffeeshop that plays The Carpenters and serves Japanese curry. A night
market. Old folks who hang out outside and gossip. A stinky tofu/thin oyster
noodle vendor. A chicken coop where they’ll even kill the chicken for you.
A-Xiong’s “everything” store. A few 7-11s. A Wellcome. A breakfast restaurant
that turns into a betel nut stand after dark across from an 按摩店. Old ladies and
Vietnamese domestic workers who collect recycling when the trash truck comes.
Guys who own the breakfast/etel nut shop outside in wife beaters and 藍白拖 drinking all sorts of
local liquor at all hours, who always say hello and often give me a shot of
Gaoliang. My neighbors are Taiwanese – most of them prefer to speak Taiwanese
or Hakka, in fact – and none of them speak English. Most are too old to have
learned it in school and those who did have mostly forgotten. I have to speak
Chinese and integrate into the neighborhood like everyone else. No helpful
English, no special stores, no special help, no swanky cafes.
I have my old lady
gang, just like any self-respecting wannabe-obasan should. I have my local
friends. I have the people I see every day and greet. In Chinese, if not
Taiwanese.
How is this any
different from a neighborhood where I might live in, say, Yunlin or Miaoli or
wherever? How is it any easier or any more foreigner-friendly?
Sure, I have more work
opportunities. I couldn’t do what I do anywhere else except possibly Hsinchu:
not even Kaohsiung has the demand for it. In fact I’ve been sent to Kaohsiung
for seminars because there is a demand, just not enough to sustain much local
English corporate training business. I can and do avail myself of public
transportation: besides my own driving limitations (I really don’t drive – I
mean I know how, and I have a license, but I have very little experience and
I’m not that good at it), I really feel that public transit is superior to
private. It’s better for the environment and it’s more social.
It saddens me that
Taiwan is not investing enough in both building and encouraging the use of
public transportation. This does not make a Taipei-based expat inferior: I’d
argue that it makes them more environmentally attuned. Yay for MRTs, boo for
gas guzzlers and polluting scooters.
Yes, I can take that
MRT to swankier bars – although compared to Istanbul, Taipei’s nightlife kind
of sucks – and nice cafes, and I have more choice than elsewhere on the island,
but an expat based in a Kaohsiung, Taizhong or Hsinchu can go to similar foreigner-friendly
places. Sure, they don’t have Carnegie’s, but I don’t go to Carnegie’s. At most
of my favorite spots - including Shake House and La Boheme, my two favorites –
the beer is good but English is barely spoken.
Again, how does this
make my life easier, less authentic or less “really in Taiwan” than if I were
to live elsewhere?
Honestly, ride a bike
through the lanes, talk to the shopkeepers and old folks outside socializing (a
perennial favorite of mine). Go to the 100-kuai beer and seafood joints – I was
quoted regarding them in the South China Morning Post not long ago,
unfortunately the article is no longer online – go to Dihua Street or just
wander Wanhua, Dadaocheng or Dalongdong. Go to Bao’an Temple (my personal
favorite).
How is any of that not
the real Taiwan? These are the places where I tend to hang out (what can I say,
I like old urban stuff), and I can guarantee that by doing so, my life is not
easier, more cosseted or more cocooned than someone living outside Taipei. I am
not superior (although I am more environmentally friendly with no wheels!), but
I am not inferior, either, and I’m sick of hearing it. I’m sorry, but Taipei is
just as good as whatever town y’all live in, and it is not necessarily any
easier to live here. It’s only easier if you let it be.
Finally, most of my
local friends in Taipei are not from Taipei – with a few notable exceptions (I
do have one friend who waxes rhapsodic on how he and his grandmother would go
for oyster omelets by 圓環 in the ‘70s). They’re from Kaohsiung County, Nantou, Miaoli…they weren’t
born here, but they’d balk at the idea that – while plenty of southerners call
Taipei “台北國” – it’s not just as much “Taiwan” as any other part of Taiwan.
"Why Bother?"
A quick thought on the ever-shifting poll numbers of Ma Ying-jiu and Tsai Ying-wen...
What worries me is that four-ish years ago, when Ma swept into office, it was on a wave from what I could only describe as resignation. Ennui, almost. From my perspective, I could almost palpably feel the defeat-before-we've-even-fought-the-fight from the DPP side, a sort of quiet sigh as they, in droves, decided not to vote.
I don't say the above lightly - I have a lot of local friends, most of them green, and almost none of them voted. Some never vote. Some don't care. Some care, but don't vote. Some thought "why bother traveling home on election day when we're going to lose anyway?" And lose they did, but I have to ask if it really had to be that way, or if the DPP could have at least put up a better fight if it'd had any fight in it after A-bian.
And now, I see it again. A sort of why-even-bother harrumph from the green side - the side that I always thought of as more passionate and invested in their beliefs than all those "I vote blue because my parents are blue but I don't actually care/know anything/think about politics"young Taipei urbanite kids. A sort of self-prophecy of defeat that worries me anew.
I didn't actually think that Frank Hsieh would win back in the day - the A-bian scandals (if you could call them that compared to what the KMT has done to Taiwan) were too fresh, too new, and after 8 years of DPP rule the country seemed poised to return to the blue side - as much as I didn't like it, I couldn't deny it.
I think Tsai could actually have a shot, though. If - if - she can mobilize the base, the independents, the undecideds, the light blues who don't like Ma. She could do it, even if she does lack a certain charisma or spark: Ma, honestly, lacks the same spark. I mean, seriously. No. Just...no. Put on a shirt, pasty-boy.
But despite this, I don't think she'll win, because although she could have the support, I see the same "why bother", the same "oh Ma will win it", the same lethargy and slow unraveling. I see thousands of folks who live in Taipei but are registered down south who won't bother making the trip. I see Taiwanese abroad who won't bother coming back. Why, when you are so sure your candidate is going to lose?
What worries me is that four-ish years ago, when Ma swept into office, it was on a wave from what I could only describe as resignation. Ennui, almost. From my perspective, I could almost palpably feel the defeat-before-we've-even-fought-the-fight from the DPP side, a sort of quiet sigh as they, in droves, decided not to vote.
I don't say the above lightly - I have a lot of local friends, most of them green, and almost none of them voted. Some never vote. Some don't care. Some care, but don't vote. Some thought "why bother traveling home on election day when we're going to lose anyway?" And lose they did, but I have to ask if it really had to be that way, or if the DPP could have at least put up a better fight if it'd had any fight in it after A-bian.
And now, I see it again. A sort of why-even-bother harrumph from the green side - the side that I always thought of as more passionate and invested in their beliefs than all those "I vote blue because my parents are blue but I don't actually care/know anything/think about politics"young Taipei urbanite kids. A sort of self-prophecy of defeat that worries me anew.
I didn't actually think that Frank Hsieh would win back in the day - the A-bian scandals (if you could call them that compared to what the KMT has done to Taiwan) were too fresh, too new, and after 8 years of DPP rule the country seemed poised to return to the blue side - as much as I didn't like it, I couldn't deny it.
I think Tsai could actually have a shot, though. If - if - she can mobilize the base, the independents, the undecideds, the light blues who don't like Ma. She could do it, even if she does lack a certain charisma or spark: Ma, honestly, lacks the same spark. I mean, seriously. No. Just...no. Put on a shirt, pasty-boy.
But despite this, I don't think she'll win, because although she could have the support, I see the same "why bother", the same "oh Ma will win it", the same lethargy and slow unraveling. I see thousands of folks who live in Taipei but are registered down south who won't bother making the trip. I see Taiwanese abroad who won't bother coming back. Why, when you are so sure your candidate is going to lose?
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Glue Dots
It's true, too: just try finding a nice, classy photo album that doesn't have pictures of cartoon dogs and cats and stars and babies and dodgy English ("Forever My Always Friend!") and fluffy clouds made with the spray-paint effect of a mid-90s version of MS Paint. Try finding an album that doesn't force you to fit in exact rows of regulation-size 4x6 photos in little slots with no room for sizing, spacing, tableau creation, artistic scrapbook-like additions (I'm not into scrapbooking per se and can't stand the little theme stickers, but the papers are nice and some elements of it work nicely in dedicated photo albums) or any sort of classy presentation. Muji sells a few versions but they're all very plain. A few souvenir shops sell pretty Chinese-style decorated ones, but inside it's all 4x6 photo slots, not blank paper.
And just try finding acid-free photo glue, glue tape or glue dots. They exist, but are frighteningly hard to come by. It seems that in Taiwan you either buy a cheap album covered in puppies and kittens and stick your photos in there, or you get pro photos made and the photographer prints up a book for you - standard for weddings and pictures of daughters in princess costumes and occasionally over-indulged Maltese dogs. Although DIY was a big thing in Taiwan several years ago, these days people just don't make their own fancy photo albums and they certainly don't DIY their wedding albums (we ran into the same issues DIYing our wedding invitations. Apparently nobody does that) - so the materials are hard to come by.
What's my point?
Well, we go into a photo store - you know, similar to one of the Konica ones with the blue sign - which prints photos, sells camera batteries, frames and photo albums with puppies and kittens on them, and a few with roses ("The love is our special bonding") and ask about acid-free glue to make a photo album.
After getting over the initial shock of the idea that two people would make their own wedding album, they said that they did not, in fact, carry such glue.
The thing I noted was that one of the women immediately got on the phone and called not one, but three - three - other stores to find a shop that sold such glue for us. First she was sure that there was a place in Shinkong Mitsukoshi that stocked it (no). Then that there was one "around Taipei Main" (yeah, just try walking around Taipei Main asking random people "Do you know where that store is that sells acid-free glue?") and finally she found it at 誠品.
Now, in the USA it wouldn't work this way. You'd drive to Michael's in your gas guzzler, wander the football-field sized cornucopia of DIY goodies (including whatever you need to make a cornucopia), find your acid-free glue dots in the scrapbooking section, and pay for them. You might not even talk to the cashier. Then you'd hop back in your car, possibly get lunch at Panera, and drive home.
In short: zero social interaction.
In Taiwan, this stuff is harder to find, you're never sure which store or even which kind of store carries what (ask me someday about finding leaf skeletons), and half the time it's just luck or knowing someone who knows where to get it.
But then you walk into a place like this one, in some random lane off Roosevelt Road, and the clerk really helps you, and you chat with her, and she tells you how she'd like to make photo albums too but the materials are so expensive, and you pet someone's dog, and she makes a few phone calls, and the next time you come in she recognizes you and asks you if you found the glue you needed.
This is one reason why I love living in Taiwan.
It's easy to get in the car and go to Michael's, but it's infinitely more rewarding to actually talk to people. Forget real glue dots for photos - these small interactions are figurative, social glue dots that form community.
I realize you can do this in many parts of the USA, but my experience has been that it's just not that common anymore, especially with the rise of suburbs and the patterns of interaction they create between people (ie, no interaction). What I find interesting is that my experience is the opposite of what you hear many Americans saying: you always hear about friendliness and everyone knowing everyone in small towns, and the meanness of big, scary anonymous cities. My small town was OK - not too friendly, not too unfriendly. I couldn't go to the pharmacy on Main Street and have the guy behind the counter know me by sight or name. You can go out and be warmly greeted, but not because people actually know you, and rarely because they remember you. Whereas in cities where I've lived, sure, if you leave your neighborhood you're anonymous but if you are doing anything - shopping, drinking coffee, taking a walk, waiting at a bus stop - people from your neighborhood know you, recognize you and greet you. I think this has everything to do with the fact that in those neighborhoods people got in their cars (if they even had cars) a lot less.
But I digress. I haven't felt the same warmth in the USA as I do in Taiwan, and I don't necessarily think it's just because I'm a foreigner (all those old townies and obasans who sit outside gossiping in their social circles, deeply embedded in their neighborhood community, are not foreigners). I don't think the owner of a store in the USA would be likely to call three other stores to help me find what I needed because she didn't sell it (maybe in some places they would - it just hasn't been my experience). I'm not at all sure that same owner would remember me the next time I came in (although that, in Taiwan, might well have a lot to do with my being a foreigner, especially living in a neighborhood with so few of them around).
Now, I'll end on a sad note. We're moving soon (in a month, in fact). We're not leaving Taiwan, just moving from Wenshan to Da'an, to a gorgeous refurbished apartment that we fell in love with on first viewing (wood floors! a dryer! a water filter! a bathtub! stucco walls! a tatami-floored tea alcove!). I've felt really great about changing apartments but also sad about leaving my little Jingmei enclave and saying goodbye to all the vendors, old folks, shop owners and various loiterers I greet daily. Sad about leaving my favorite night market and knowing the vendors who I buy dinner from. Sad about not occasionally waking up to the sounds of the chickens squawking from the chicken vendor one lane over.
Near my apartment is another residential building of roughly the same era (when everything that was built was ugly), with an awning and old chairs by the entrance. I used to sit outside and gossip with the old ladies who gathered there. The nexus - the glue dot - of this octogenarian (and older) clique was Old Wu, who lived on the 2nd floor and had a decrepit old dog named Mao Mao. He was killed when a scooter hit him a few years ago (I was very attached to Mao Mao and I did shed a few tears). Even if the other old ladies were out napping or taking care of grandchildren or wandering around, I would often sit outside with her, and pet Mao Mao when he was alive, and shoot the breeze. Even when that breeze was the first hint of a typhoon blowing in.
Her health was deteriorating before we left for Turkey. I noticed that the glue was coming a bit loose: the old ladies no longer met under the awning, what with Old Wu in the hospital and not there to hold court. They moved to the temple goods store (you know, gold paper lotus offerings, incense etc.) next to Ah-Xiong's shop. I joined them there a few times, but there aren't enough chairs and it's too close to the chickens, which, frankly, stink.
I knew that Old Wu didn't have long, but I didn't think I'd never see her again. I guess I figured, those ladies are pretty tough, and most of them are surprisingly ancient. Old Taiwanese ladies never die, right?
Well, she succumbed to her poor health and passed away while we were in Turkey. I only found out when we got back, and suddenly those empty old chairs were a lot sadder, now that I knew their unsat-in condition was no longer temporary. I cried a fair bit on the way back up to my apartment and was extra winded when I got to the top from doing so (another reason to move: six floor walkup in this place. No more).
Old Wu was my glue dot in Jingmei. She and her group, whose ages totaled must have topped 500, made me feel welcome, like I was part of a community. I didn't feel like a foreigner, a novelty or something strange or different. They'd seen a lot in their lives (a lot - anyone that age in Asia has) and a young foreign girl was really nothing chart-topping. They just accepted me as another part of their life experience (and also told me all about my husband's arm hair and how many kids we should have, but that's another story).
I don't believe in signs. I really don't - but if I did, a case could be made that the end of an era has come and it's time to leave Jingmei - not because Old Wu passed on (I'm not so self-centered as to believe that the universe killed an old lady just to tell me to move!) but because my old lady gossip circle is no more, and because it's just different now. I feel released, pulled off a page, and it's time to find a new glue dot and adhere somewhere else for awhile...even if that somewhere else is technically just up the road.
Well, we go into a photo store - you know, similar to one of the Konica ones with the blue sign - which prints photos, sells camera batteries, frames and photo albums with puppies and kittens on them, and a few with roses ("The love is our special bonding") and ask about acid-free glue to make a photo album.
After getting over the initial shock of the idea that two people would make their own wedding album, they said that they did not, in fact, carry such glue.
The thing I noted was that one of the women immediately got on the phone and called not one, but three - three - other stores to find a shop that sold such glue for us. First she was sure that there was a place in Shinkong Mitsukoshi that stocked it (no). Then that there was one "around Taipei Main" (yeah, just try walking around Taipei Main asking random people "Do you know where that store is that sells acid-free glue?") and finally she found it at 誠品.
Now, in the USA it wouldn't work this way. You'd drive to Michael's in your gas guzzler, wander the football-field sized cornucopia of DIY goodies (including whatever you need to make a cornucopia), find your acid-free glue dots in the scrapbooking section, and pay for them. You might not even talk to the cashier. Then you'd hop back in your car, possibly get lunch at Panera, and drive home.
In short: zero social interaction.
In Taiwan, this stuff is harder to find, you're never sure which store or even which kind of store carries what (ask me someday about finding leaf skeletons), and half the time it's just luck or knowing someone who knows where to get it.
But then you walk into a place like this one, in some random lane off Roosevelt Road, and the clerk really helps you, and you chat with her, and she tells you how she'd like to make photo albums too but the materials are so expensive, and you pet someone's dog, and she makes a few phone calls, and the next time you come in she recognizes you and asks you if you found the glue you needed.
This is one reason why I love living in Taiwan.
It's easy to get in the car and go to Michael's, but it's infinitely more rewarding to actually talk to people. Forget real glue dots for photos - these small interactions are figurative, social glue dots that form community.
I realize you can do this in many parts of the USA, but my experience has been that it's just not that common anymore, especially with the rise of suburbs and the patterns of interaction they create between people (ie, no interaction). What I find interesting is that my experience is the opposite of what you hear many Americans saying: you always hear about friendliness and everyone knowing everyone in small towns, and the meanness of big, scary anonymous cities. My small town was OK - not too friendly, not too unfriendly. I couldn't go to the pharmacy on Main Street and have the guy behind the counter know me by sight or name. You can go out and be warmly greeted, but not because people actually know you, and rarely because they remember you. Whereas in cities where I've lived, sure, if you leave your neighborhood you're anonymous but if you are doing anything - shopping, drinking coffee, taking a walk, waiting at a bus stop - people from your neighborhood know you, recognize you and greet you. I think this has everything to do with the fact that in those neighborhoods people got in their cars (if they even had cars) a lot less.
But I digress. I haven't felt the same warmth in the USA as I do in Taiwan, and I don't necessarily think it's just because I'm a foreigner (all those old townies and obasans who sit outside gossiping in their social circles, deeply embedded in their neighborhood community, are not foreigners). I don't think the owner of a store in the USA would be likely to call three other stores to help me find what I needed because she didn't sell it (maybe in some places they would - it just hasn't been my experience). I'm not at all sure that same owner would remember me the next time I came in (although that, in Taiwan, might well have a lot to do with my being a foreigner, especially living in a neighborhood with so few of them around).
Now, I'll end on a sad note. We're moving soon (in a month, in fact). We're not leaving Taiwan, just moving from Wenshan to Da'an, to a gorgeous refurbished apartment that we fell in love with on first viewing (wood floors! a dryer! a water filter! a bathtub! stucco walls! a tatami-floored tea alcove!). I've felt really great about changing apartments but also sad about leaving my little Jingmei enclave and saying goodbye to all the vendors, old folks, shop owners and various loiterers I greet daily. Sad about leaving my favorite night market and knowing the vendors who I buy dinner from. Sad about not occasionally waking up to the sounds of the chickens squawking from the chicken vendor one lane over.
Near my apartment is another residential building of roughly the same era (when everything that was built was ugly), with an awning and old chairs by the entrance. I used to sit outside and gossip with the old ladies who gathered there. The nexus - the glue dot - of this octogenarian (and older) clique was Old Wu, who lived on the 2nd floor and had a decrepit old dog named Mao Mao. He was killed when a scooter hit him a few years ago (I was very attached to Mao Mao and I did shed a few tears). Even if the other old ladies were out napping or taking care of grandchildren or wandering around, I would often sit outside with her, and pet Mao Mao when he was alive, and shoot the breeze. Even when that breeze was the first hint of a typhoon blowing in.
Her health was deteriorating before we left for Turkey. I noticed that the glue was coming a bit loose: the old ladies no longer met under the awning, what with Old Wu in the hospital and not there to hold court. They moved to the temple goods store (you know, gold paper lotus offerings, incense etc.) next to Ah-Xiong's shop. I joined them there a few times, but there aren't enough chairs and it's too close to the chickens, which, frankly, stink.
I knew that Old Wu didn't have long, but I didn't think I'd never see her again. I guess I figured, those ladies are pretty tough, and most of them are surprisingly ancient. Old Taiwanese ladies never die, right?
Well, she succumbed to her poor health and passed away while we were in Turkey. I only found out when we got back, and suddenly those empty old chairs were a lot sadder, now that I knew their unsat-in condition was no longer temporary. I cried a fair bit on the way back up to my apartment and was extra winded when I got to the top from doing so (another reason to move: six floor walkup in this place. No more).
Old Wu was my glue dot in Jingmei. She and her group, whose ages totaled must have topped 500, made me feel welcome, like I was part of a community. I didn't feel like a foreigner, a novelty or something strange or different. They'd seen a lot in their lives (a lot - anyone that age in Asia has) and a young foreign girl was really nothing chart-topping. They just accepted me as another part of their life experience (and also told me all about my husband's arm hair and how many kids we should have, but that's another story).
I don't believe in signs. I really don't - but if I did, a case could be made that the end of an era has come and it's time to leave Jingmei - not because Old Wu passed on (I'm not so self-centered as to believe that the universe killed an old lady just to tell me to move!) but because my old lady gossip circle is no more, and because it's just different now. I feel released, pulled off a page, and it's time to find a new glue dot and adhere somewhere else for awhile...even if that somewhere else is technically just up the road.
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In Defense of Taiwanese Food
I know, I haven't updated in awhile - at least, awhile for me.
First, the jetlag.
Then, getting thrown right back into work.
Then, I came down with a migraine followed immediately by very quick and dirty virus - some kind of 24-hour flu.
I can say that since I've been back in Taiwan, I've been diving in - not quite literally, but if I could don a bathing suit and do so literally, I probably would - to eating all of my favorite foods. I realize there are Taiwan bloggers out there who don't like the food here ("bland" and "greasy" are two adjectives I've heard to describe it) but I simply think they're wrong. I started dreaming about wontons in chili oil (紅油抄手) within weeks of landing in Turkey - even though Turkish food is spectacular - and I relish the smell of stinky tofu as one would a smelly gourmet French cheese.
So far I've crammed my gullet and fattened my gut with:
Korean flavor pot stickers (韓式鍋貼)
Wontons in chili oil (紅油抄手)
Oyster vermicelli (蚵仔麵線)
Thai-style fried chicken (泰式幾塊)
Octopus Balls (章魚球)
"Stuff on Sticks" (肉串- but not necessarily always meat)
Zhanghua-style "rice gluten" meatballs (彰化肉圓)
Cheap sushi on a conveyer belt
North Chinese style pork roll (大餅豬捲)
Burmese style noodles (緬甸何粉 - not an exact translation)
Stinky tofu (臭豆腐)
...and plenty of Chinese-based Taiwanese food that I got for free from the buffet at the long-term seminar thing I just finished for work.
Not bad considering that I've been sick and had next to no appetite!
I'm still excited to enjoy, in the near future, oyster omelets, Tainan-style shrimp roll rice, dry noodles, tea eggs, stewed meat rice (魯肉飯), BBQ squid on a stick, clams stir fried with basil, 1oo-yuan seafood, lumpia (the thin crepe wraps with red-cooked pork and vegetables) and many other favorites.
This is why I get annoyed when I read posts like "Taiwanese food is bland" or "Everybody says Taiwanese food is good, but it isn't, because all those foreigners who claim to like Taiwanese food regularly eat foreign food". I call bullshit.
Well, on the first one, that's really a matter of taste: yes, Mr. Blogger, Taiwanese food may well be bland to you, but it isn't to me. I can taste many delicate layers of flavor in simple dishes and appreciate the flavors and textures in dishes that might seem gloopy and pointless to some (it helps that I like that gooey texture that is so popular in Taiwanese food).
On the second, well, yes, it's often greasy, usually unhealthy and frighteningly easy to fatten up on - but the idea that in order to properly "like" Taiwanese food, you can't eat non-Taiwanese food (and if you do, even occasionally, it's somehow evidence that you "don't like" Taiwanese food) is thoroughly ridiculous. It's OK to like many different kinds of food, among them the culinary delights of Taiwan.
What I'll say is this: criticize it all you want, if that's you're opinion, but don't pretend that your opinion is fact. I happen to think Taiwanese food is fantastic. So fantastic, in fact, that while in the culinary mecca of Turkey I was thinking about how much I'd like some of my various favorites from Taiwan. The first thing we did when we got back wasn't to go to some famous spot or even see friends (waited for the weekend for that) - we went out to eat, and very consciously so. To deliberately eat some of the food we'd missed so much: chili oil wontons, green papaya in passionfruit sauce and cold coriander chicken.
First, the jetlag.
Then, getting thrown right back into work.
Then, I came down with a migraine followed immediately by very quick and dirty virus - some kind of 24-hour flu.
I can say that since I've been back in Taiwan, I've been diving in - not quite literally, but if I could don a bathing suit and do so literally, I probably would - to eating all of my favorite foods. I realize there are Taiwan bloggers out there who don't like the food here ("bland" and "greasy" are two adjectives I've heard to describe it) but I simply think they're wrong. I started dreaming about wontons in chili oil (紅油抄手) within weeks of landing in Turkey - even though Turkish food is spectacular - and I relish the smell of stinky tofu as one would a smelly gourmet French cheese.
So far I've crammed my gullet and fattened my gut with:
Korean flavor pot stickers (韓式鍋貼)
Wontons in chili oil (紅油抄手)
Oyster vermicelli (蚵仔麵線)
Thai-style fried chicken (泰式幾塊)
Octopus Balls (章魚球)
"Stuff on Sticks" (肉串- but not necessarily always meat)
Zhanghua-style "rice gluten" meatballs (彰化肉圓)
Cheap sushi on a conveyer belt
North Chinese style pork roll (大餅豬捲)
Burmese style noodles (緬甸何粉 - not an exact translation)
Stinky tofu (臭豆腐)
...and plenty of Chinese-based Taiwanese food that I got for free from the buffet at the long-term seminar thing I just finished for work.
Not bad considering that I've been sick and had next to no appetite!
I'm still excited to enjoy, in the near future, oyster omelets, Tainan-style shrimp roll rice, dry noodles, tea eggs, stewed meat rice (魯肉飯), BBQ squid on a stick, clams stir fried with basil, 1oo-yuan seafood, lumpia (the thin crepe wraps with red-cooked pork and vegetables) and many other favorites.
This is why I get annoyed when I read posts like "Taiwanese food is bland" or "Everybody says Taiwanese food is good, but it isn't, because all those foreigners who claim to like Taiwanese food regularly eat foreign food". I call bullshit.
Well, on the first one, that's really a matter of taste: yes, Mr. Blogger, Taiwanese food may well be bland to you, but it isn't to me. I can taste many delicate layers of flavor in simple dishes and appreciate the flavors and textures in dishes that might seem gloopy and pointless to some (it helps that I like that gooey texture that is so popular in Taiwanese food).
On the second, well, yes, it's often greasy, usually unhealthy and frighteningly easy to fatten up on - but the idea that in order to properly "like" Taiwanese food, you can't eat non-Taiwanese food (and if you do, even occasionally, it's somehow evidence that you "don't like" Taiwanese food) is thoroughly ridiculous. It's OK to like many different kinds of food, among them the culinary delights of Taiwan.
What I'll say is this: criticize it all you want, if that's you're opinion, but don't pretend that your opinion is fact. I happen to think Taiwanese food is fantastic. So fantastic, in fact, that while in the culinary mecca of Turkey I was thinking about how much I'd like some of my various favorites from Taiwan. The first thing we did when we got back wasn't to go to some famous spot or even see friends (waited for the weekend for that) - we went out to eat, and very consciously so. To deliberately eat some of the food we'd missed so much: chili oil wontons, green papaya in passionfruit sauce and cold coriander chicken.
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