Friday, March 17, 2017

Places where the KMT might have misplaced and forgotten about a billion dollars

No but for serious, the KMT just sort of "found" like a billion US dollars that they...forgot about? Or something? So I thought I'd compile a helpful list of places the KMT might have found it, since they aren't saying. Maybe look in those again and see if there's another few billion lying around?

1.) Chiang You-bo was sorting his great grandpa's old things and he found it in an old chest in the attic under Pop-pop's war stuff

2.) The other day I found NT100 in my jeans pocket, maybe it was like that?

3.) Someone finally hit Sean Lien with a hammer, he cracked open and it fell out

4.) They finally checked the couch cushions at KMT headquarters (from a friend)

5.) Well, I mean, it's obvious. They thought they'd spent it on their astronomical music and media budget producing high-cost masterpieces like this

6.) Everybody knows that Lien Chan's nickname is "Forgetful Lien" - oops! Forgetful Lien's up to his old antics again! Ha ha ha!


8.) Hung Hsiu-chu left it in the back of a taxi. Fortunately, since Taiwan is such a safe country, the friendly taxi driving uncle returned it.

9.) They had thought of it in the same terms as the 1992 Consensus and only recently realized that, no, unlike the 1992 Consensus, this money is a real thing that exists

10.)  "Oh, but actually...ahem...errr...we knew about this money so...uh...but...what I mean is...see, we brought our own money from China and used it to help are you complaining about what with all the good stuff we did for Taiwan and we didn't do any bad stuff at all" (this seems to be their actual excuse)

11.) "Oh hi honey...what do you mean? No, those flowers were for my...boss. It was her birthday. What do you mean her birthday was last month? Well, I forgot, and so I got her flowers this month...what money? Oh, that money...that's...that's for us! It was supposed to be a surprise! You know I only love you."

"Ooooohhh, that was real money? Oops"

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