Hot New Tips For Talking About China With "Nuance"!

Hey, China Hands. Feelin’ down? Like it’s really hard to defend a regime that is accused of genocide, cultural oppression and warmongering? Are you finding it difficult to reconcile your “Believe Women” stance with your ardent desire not to believe women who say they were repeatedly raped while detained in CCP-run concentration camps? Would you do anything to get your “everyone who doesn’t love the CCP is racist” mojo back?

Never fear — you can always call for “nuanced debate” on issues such as threatening invasion and straight-up massacre, and accuse those who wrongly criticize the CCP of “lacking nuance”. 

“But there are so many critics these days,” you might say. “How do you actually insist all of them debate with ‘nuance’? Surely someone will figure out that I am literally defending genocide!” 

Well, you’re in luck! At Lao Ren Cha, we’re here to help. We’ve done the research, asked the experts and compiled some of our hottest tips for accusing everyone who disagrees with your pro-CCP stance of “lacking nuance”.

Before we get started, let’s review the Golden Rule of Nuance: the person who calls for it can never lack nuance themselves. Afraid that someone will say your thinking is about as deep as a sheet of paper? That your “China isn’t so bad, it’s all the other countries that are terrible, in every way” argument is clunky and boorish? Don’t worry — just play the Nuance card early, so nobody can say it about you! 

Here are some more Hot Tips how you can keep an online fight going far longer than it ever needs to, sowing annoyance and division in your wake: 

1.) Spout "facts" and be really hostile when people check them, but require incontrovertible verification for every piece of evidence you don't like. Ensure that no verification is sufficient to convince you, including video evidence. All "facts" that don't meet your impossible standards of proof simply do not exist!

2.) "Whataboutism" is your best friend! Utilize this argument early and often. Try to make it plausible, for example, pointing out real flaws in Western countries such as the US prison system or Australian detention centers on Nauru. TIP! China can criticize these things about other countries without acknowledging the genocide it’s perpetrating, but other countries cannot criticize China. 

3.) Call everyone who disagrees with you a neoliberal or a capitalist -- or both. In fact, go with both. It helps if you claim that standing for Taiwan means supporting “the Nationalists”. It doesn’t matter if they do or not. 

4.) "Boomer", "White feminist" and "Karen" are useful terms to describe certain behaviors of privileged White people. Nevermind that though, be sure to call everyone who disagrees with you one of these, whether or not they are applicable. "White Left" is also a good choice. A lot of people actually are racists so that works too, and pairs well with disingenuously conflating criticism of the CCP with criticism of every Chinese person.

5.) Cite your experience in "the real China". Bonus points if that experience was exclusively in Beijing or Shanghai.

6.) Talk about imperialism and colonialism a lot, and sound really good doing it. Only apply your fairly strong anti-imperialist/decolonization arguments to the West, as no government that's not Western is capable of either of these or any of their evils.

7.) Use your most heartfelt voice to claim that the only way to stop genocide and systemic rape is through "engagement", if we just "engage" then the CCP will stop all the genociding and rape. Anyone who disagrees with that is, again, a racist.

8.) If you can't work in Confucius or "5,000 years" of something, at least make sure to say that China "lifted millions out of poverty". Do not mention who put them into poverty.

9.) Use metaphors that don't quite work. A good choice is comparing Taiwan to Hawaii. Neither the actual status of Taiwan compared to Hawaii nor how others in the debate feel about Hawaiian independence matter. It should always be assumed that Taiwan is not currently independent.

10.) Racism directed at Asians in Western countries is a real problem, and should be both noted and opposed wherever it occurs. Don’t worry about whether it’s relevant to the discussion at hand though — be sure to use this as a rejoinder to every criticism of China whether it's applicable or not.

11.) The Culture Argument: if the discussion is about whether Tibet and East Turkestan should be part of China, point out that China is a multicultural and diverse society. If the discussion is about Taiwan or Hong Kong, point out that they are the "same culture", "same civilization" or "same blood" as Chinese (even though arguably none of these are true, it doesn't matter) and therefore should be a part of China. These two views are completely reconcilable if you push them forcefully enough!  

Warning! Don't overuse this argument or They might come to the conclusion that none of these are a good argument for why a nation should exist in a particular way, and start to consider civic partnership as an alternative. You do not want this! Try instead to direct them to arguments about "culture", "history", "civilization" and best of all, "genetics", despite the fact that you both know they're irrelevant. 

12.) Appeal To Authority! Here’s an example of how that works: The Lancet publishes papers that conflate Taiwanese and Chinese medical data and refuses to retract it, so haughtily claim that they’re The Lancet so how could they possibly be wrong?

13.) The Catch-22: if Taiwan doesn’t want to be a part of China, why do they still call themselves “the Republic of China”? If they want to be independent, they need to change that. If they change the name of their country and China reacts angrily, be sure to criticize them as “troublemakers” who are “provoking China”. 

Important Note! What Taiwanese actually think doesn’t matter. This also applies to Tibetans, Uyghurs and Hong Kongers. 

14.) Use simple mnemonic devices to recall key arguments in a flash. For example, if you’re in the heat of battle, just remember the TAP rule: Taiwan Always Provokes. Nothing China does is ever provocation, they’re just angry because Taiwan doesn’t accept that China claims their country. Taiwan should just calm down about it. But if Taiwan tries to bolster its defensive capabilities, that’s PROVOCATION and it’s WRONG because it might anger China. 

Advanced Level Nuance

Are you an expert nuance-haver? Leave the rookie arguments to the rookies and show off your top-tier skills with these Advanced Tips! These are especially effective and confusing because you can make it sound like you're actually an ally. Wowza! A few people might see through your concern trolling, but don't worry -- most won't. 

15.) Claim to oppose the CCP but ensure that all of your individual statements actually kind of support them. A good choice here is saying that you’d prefer Taiwan not be annexed by China or that the genocide in East Turkestan should stop, but that there is nothing any Western country can or should do about it at any level (from sanctions to refusing to negotiate to providing defensive assistance) because they are “evil”. Do not offer any other viable solutions. 

Bonus Points if you then complain that other countries don’t do enough to support these causes.

16.) Write about it! Be sure to use classic “negs” like calling Taiwan a “self-ruled island” (it is acceptable to call it “a vibrant democracy” so people will think you are even-handed, but do not use any other complimentary descriptors). Quote Chinese state media without context or criticism, get quotes from the same six analysts — I mean they’re basically the same six quotes over and over anyway — and try not to include any contrary voices. If you absolutely must include a Taiwanese voice, ensure that the person is not an activist or lawmaker who supports de jure independence. After all, the KMT has plenty of people who will give you a pro-China quote! Who cares if they’re not in power and their platforms don’t reflect public opinion?

17.) Use hypotheticals when the real-world data doesn’t support you. Do the majority of Taiwanese identify as solely Taiwanese? Do the vast majority prioritize Taiwanese identity? Is there essentially no support for unification? Ignore it all and say things like ‘tyranny of the majority’ or “but if 52% of people want independence and 48% don’t, should you break up a country over that?” Be sure to ignore the fact that Taiwan is already sovereign. 

18.) Remember, dismissing everything as “Western propaganda” is a rookie mistake, and you do Advanced Nuance! If you are pushed into a corner where you cannot say you don’t believe women in China who claim to be raped, but believing them means criticizing the CCP, say something like “it’s complicated”. Anyone who says it’s actually quite simple just doesn’t understand Advanced Nuance. 

Don’t Forget! Refuse to acknowledge that your equivocating response to women in China who recount systemic sexual abuse when you quite reasonably advocate believing women everywhere else is in any way hypocritical or racist. 

19.) Destroy from within! There are lots of ways to do this, providing plenty of opportunities for customization. Here’s an old classic: a lot of right-wingers claim to support Hong Kong, Taiwan and East Turkestan — hypocritically, but this isn’t about them. Be sure to call anyone who also supports these things right-wingers regardless of their actual politics. 

20.) Is the despised outgoing administration doing a few things that are actually good for Taiwan, Hong Kong and East Turkestan? Are you worried the incoming administration won’t be strong on those same issues? Be sure to say that the outgoing folk are “sabotaging” or “complicating” the incoming ones, even when the new administration makes no indication that that’s the case. 

Bonus Nuance Tip! 

Remember, only other people engage in colorism, never you. If a person of Chinese heritage defends genocide or invading other countries, that person is always right and should always be taken seriously. If a non-Chinese person argues back that genocide is wrong, tell them that they have no right to an opinion on genocide being wrong. 

Happy Nuancing!