But I Woke Up Late: Your Guide to Taipei Afternoon Hikes, for the Late Sleepers and Hungover

You know those Sundays when you wake up and want to go hiking or go somewhere, but it's already 10, maybe 11am, maybe even noon? And you haven't even finished your coffee? And you're all "but I want to go somewhere, but it's too late! If I try to go now, I'll just get stuck on a mountain after sundown!"?

Then you look at all your guides and hiking books, and you search online. There are tons of options, but it's hard to differentiate: "Which ones could I do if I left at noon?", you wonder. "Which ones take far too long to reach or complete even though they seem close to Taipei?"

I know it's happened to you, because it's happened to all of us. And what we usually do is sigh, drink our coffee, do a little Facebooking, and give up: we may go out, but we don't leave the city or attempt to surround ourselves with nature. For all of those times, I wish I'd had a post like this in my bookmarks. No such post seems to exist, so I'm creating it.

Well, one thing I love about Taipei is that it doesn't have to be that way. Specifically, Taipei is great because it doesn't have to be that way and you can get a touch of nature in your life without having to drive a car or scooter. For any of these short, fun hikes below, you can get there on public transportation (woohoo!) and you can leave in the late morning or even early afternoon without worry. So, go out and get those drinks, stay out until 3am, wake up the next day and never fear - you can still enjoy a little green and you don't even have to drive to do it.

All of these hikes are well-documented, in guides and on blogs. I noticed, though, that nowhere are they organized in such a way that some bleary-eyed refugee of On Tap or a Belgian beer cafe could do a quick search and find one page with one list of all the best options, so that's what I'm trying to do here.

1.) Little Gold Face Mountain

                       

One of my favorite viewpoints around Taipei - you can get there on a long day hike starting from Jiantan and summiting two low mountains, or you can just go up at the other end. Start in Neihu at Huanshan Road (環山路), Sec 1, Lane 136 (as per Taipei Day Trips 1, the old version) and climb the steep, rocky ascent to the viewpoint at the top. There are other trails from there, but this outlet is the easiest to reach from a trafficked area in Taipei City (the rest of the hike - the long hike - crosses a few roads but all of them are very quiet - you won't find any buses on them and many are unknown even to taxi drivers).

2.) Xianjiyan

I never actually blogged about this hike, even though I've done it - because I did it years before starting this blog. If you go up and down from Jingmei you could do the whole thing in maybe 2 hours, or 1 if you are a fast hiker and only linger briefly (I am slow and like to take breaks). It's steep at the beginning but not challenging, and then gets a lot easier, affording great views in both directions (although I prefer the one out over Muzha towards Maokong). From MRT Jingmei Exit 2, walk straight ahead until the end of the road. Turn right and look for the sign pointing to the trail (there's a temple nearby).

3.) Battleship Rock (軍艦岩）- a lot of photos for this one as I did it recently, but never blogged it.

                            

                           

I did this one recently and haven't blogged it, because it was such a quick hike that I did it and forgot about it (it's covered in Taipei Day Trips 1, by the way). It's very popular with locals, especially ones who live in northern Taipei. Unlike Daily Bubble Tea, we got there via MRT Shipai, not Qilian. If you grab a map that shows you the main entrance of Yangming University and walk uphill from there (keep mostly to the right, but always uphill, until you find the stairs leading off from the uphill road - there are signs), it's not that far or that challenging, although it does get steep. The views from here are spectacular. You can come back the way you came, or you can walk down via Wellington Heights and Zhaoming Temple if you have more time. A longer, more fun descent lands you in Xinbeitou (see Taipei Day Trips 1), or a shorter, easier descent lands you...elsewhere. Don't know where - we took the long way down. Bring bug repellent. This is an excellent afternoon hike - the breezes from the top will cool you off after a sweaty ascent. With its easy MRT accessibility, this is a great choice if you wake up at 11 and want to get some exercise without ending up in the middle of nowhere with the sun going down, or on a clear day when you want a good view of Taipei without exhausting yourself.

4.) Elephant Mountain

                   

An easy staple - I was able to give you an exact enough starting point for the other two, but sadly, I can't do that for this hike. I don't remember where it starts. Taipei Day Trips 1 doesn't give a good indication, either: if you walk along Xinyi Road past Taipei 101 (think Xinyi-Songren or Xinyi-Songde) and turn south, and ask most people nearby how to get to "Xiang Shan" (象山), you'll figure it out. I'm sure Google Maps would help, too. This one is very popular locally and has one of the best views of 101 in the city. The best part - it's popular at sunset (set up early if you want to get a good vantage point for photographs, because photographers and courting couples take and keep their spots), which means that you can head up here in the late afternoon and then walk down on perfectly-well-lit steps. If you have a little more time, continue on to the other mountains. With another hour or so you could make it to a lovely viewpoint on Thumb Mountain and head back. If you made a full day of this you could walk to Nangang, but this is a post of short hikes for those of us who like to sleep late, so I won't cover that here. Beyond Elephant Mountain and up Thumb Mountain there is no lighting after dark: the lights only go on closer to Xinyi.

5.) Tianmu Old Trail

I don't like linking to the China Post, but whatever: I've done this hike at least 3 times (on good days you can see monkeys, and I love monkeys!) but all before I started blogging, so I don't have a post to link to. This is another popular local hike, and it's actually better to start it late in the day - the monkeys come out, if they're going to come out, late in the afternoon as it's getting on towards sunset. They don't often show themselves on weekends though (they don't care for crowds) - I recommend doing this one on a weekday if you can. There are two ways to start this hike, which is mostly stairs with one flat area, where the monkeys are: from Chinese Culture University (文化大學) going down, or from Tianmu going up. To go down, take any Yangmingshan-bound bus from MRT Jiantan (260 will do) and get off at "Wenhua Daxue". If you're in the area and like coffee, be sure to stop at Ji Jia Coffee on a road to the right (facing uphill) first. Facing uphill, you turn left towards the giant Chinese-looking building, and then keep right, and the trail begins near a Catholic church that looks like a Chinese temple. Go down some steep stairs until you get to the flat area, and then just follow the easy signs. A few bars open up in the evenings around the other end of the level trail, but you'd have to call a taxi to get home from one of them, as no buses I know of ply the road that intersects it. There's also a wedding venue up here. More stairs take you down to the very end of Zhongshan Road - just keep heading south/downhill and you'll get there (alternately you could just turn around and go back up to Culture University and take a bus down). If you bring a flashlight and bug spray you'll be able to easily and safely walk the stairs down to Tianmu at night. The other route is to start from Tianmu: take any bus that goes to the traffic circe at the very end of Zhongshan Road (or start from International Square - to get there you could take the 285, 685 and many other buses) and start uphill. Keep straight ahead and follow the signs. Also, MONKEYS!

6.) Maokong (Zhinan Temple or Maokongshan)

                        

We did a hike further up from the famed teahouses of Maokong, a portion of which could easily be started in the afternoon - no reason to get up early. This hike starts out with great views over Taipei, but the summit has no view at all. If you keep going you could end up at Erge Mountain or all the way to Shiding, but that would take longer than an afternoon, so I won't cover it here. It's a great way to get some exercise before stopping for dinner and tea on Maokong and taking a bus or the cable car down. Alternately, you could hike up to Zhinan Temple and then continue up on foot or by cable car to a teahouse...or do the same thing going down. You get nature, you get convenience, you get some views, and you don't have to get up early!

7.) Adding one here - Paozilun Falls

This is a hike that begins in Shenkeng - the only one of the above hikes not technically entirely within Taipei city. Shenkeng is so close to Taipei, however, that it's still something you can easily do, even if you start in the early afternoon. It's a short hike through some nice woods along a clear path, ending at a waterfall that you can take a "massage shower" under - locals who do this pray first to ask Tudi Gong and the nature gods not to allow any large rocks to fall from the falls as they are under it. It's a refreshing stop after the hike, and you should dry off pretty well on your way back to Shenkeng if you didn't wear a swimsuit (there's no obvious place to change - I wouldn't want to enter the shack to the left of the falls). After the hike you can head back to Shenkeng for some shopping and stinky tofu before catching one of the many buses back to Taipei - the advantage of this hike is that while you should finish the trail part before sundown, you can stay later in Shenkeng and easily leave after dark.

To get there, get a bus to Shenkeng from MRT Taipei Zoo station (or take the 666 from MRT Jingmei, near exit 2, or MRT Muzha - 606 might also be fine) and get off at the old street - the one with all the stinky tofu. Instead of entering the old street, cross the bridge and keep right. 

Cross the large road and head straight up the road that starts at the betel nut shop across from you. Keep right at the sign for 文山 spray painted on a metal fence. Keep going slightly uphill for awhile. Ignore the sign telling you to turn right for Paozilun Trail and keep straight up the steep hill. At the top where it evens out you'll see a very small trail inlet to the left - hopefully there will be cars parked around it, better marking it. It's very easy to miss and doesn't look like the right way (but it is). Turn in and walk up - it's "paved" with blue foam pads (???) and at one point, carpeting. Don't ask - I don't know either - and much of the trail is made of sandbags.

8.) Silver Stream Cave and waterfall

Directions in the blog post - basically you can start from Maokong and walk down to Xindian (start up the road immediately across the street from Maokong Station at the top of the cable car line, or you can start at the trailhead on Yinhe Road off of Beiyi Road (Highway 9) not far from MRT Xindian, accessible by bus or, optimally, taxi. 

This hike gets you into some nature, gives you exercise on the steep stairs, takes in a waterfall, a temple and some good views and lets you off - if you start from Xindian - in the proximity of several food and tea options with an easy ride back to the MRT. You can start at at or later than lunchtime, no problem, which is perfect if you were up half the night and want to sleep in.

9.) Fuzhou Hill

I have actually been up here before and it's an excellent place to go walking in Taipei without having to spend a whole day - and conveniently accessible from MRT Linguang (also walkable from Liuzhangli).

But, I can't find my pictures, and Josh Ellis has some great ones, so I've linked him above.

We enjoyed this one quite a bit, though we did it as a half-day thing (couldn't get out of the house before lunch, just could...not). I never blogged it as it seemed like such a normal thing to do, but now I wish I had. I'd know where the photos were at least! We went...wow, years ago now, and I just never got around to telling you all.

There are a few trails up here, some of which lead to stunning views, others are a bit more forested. And you really don't have to expend too much time or torture yourself if you're feeling tired, while still getting some nature in! 

Gems of Brick

As ugly as many expats find Taipei, I really don't find it such (although there are plenty of horrifically ugly buildings, I'll grant you that). 

I haven't had much time or energy to post these past few weeks, but I have managed to amass several photos over the past few months highlighting some of the best of Taipei's old architecture - which is thankfully starting to be restored rather than culled. 

I do believe it's worth it to occasionally post a few of these photos, as my tiny, eensy-weensy contribution to an online archive of Taipei's considerable architectural gems - and to remind people that these gems even exist.

So, I'm not going to bother with captions - just enjoy. Most of these photos were taken somewhere in the vicinity of Yanping N. Road, Anxi St., Liangzhou Rd., Dihua Street, Minquan W. Road or some intersection thereof.

                         

The Sun Is In the Sky, Oh Why Oh Why...

...would I wanna be anywhere else?


In the absence of the mental energy needed to do a real blog post, here are a few of my recent photos.

All of these photos except for three were taken in Taipei. You get an A+ if you can pinpoint which three. A++ if you can tell me where in Taiwan those three were taken.

Ten Random Things I *Heart*: Reason #26 to Love Taiwan

Also, pets in coffeeshops.

                           
Continuing my weird love letter to Taiwan, here is a set of ten things I absolutely love about living in Taiwan - as random (and seemingly annoying, at times) as they are. I'm not going to write about the obvious things, like great hiking, ridiculously beautiful mountain vistas, temple festivals, stinky tofu or friendly people, although those things are all great. I'm trying for something more random - although some entries are obvious, if not obvious reasons to love this country.

With that, please enjoy:

1.) Beer: Anywhere, Anytime

Seriously, you wanna hang out in a manhole and drink beer? GO FOR IT. You can also drink beer in your apartment building's main doorway, at temple festivals, in a temple (just try sneaking a Pilsner into church. I dare you), walking down the street, in many movie theaters (and you can sneak it into ones that don't sell it outside without a problem), in the park with old guys, while rowing a dragon boat. Once, we got beer for free on Donggang, because we wanted to buy some on the street to walk around while the boat burning was starting up. The vendor was so pleased that there were enthusiastic foreigners that the beer was free - I guess he was doing his part to thank the Thousand Years Grandfather, or 千歲爺, for another year of good luck. Whatevs, man. Cheers.

2.) Sleeping Guys in Office Clothes

I know, I'm a total meanie for snapping this picture and putting it on Facebook with the caption "every Taiwanese coffeeshop needs a Sleeping Guy in Office Clothes - it's part of the 風水 (feng shui)". Seriously, I think coffeeshops hire feng shui masters to carefully calibrate the flow of qi through their establishments and then hire a Sleeping Guy in Office Clothes to sleep in an auspiciously-oriented position so as to help control or manipulate the qi for profit, success and customer comfort. That is pretty much the only explanation for why every single coffeeshop in Taiwan, from Starbucks to Dante to Ikari to  more local places has a Sleeping Guy in Office Clothes during all business hours. I'd say I was joking, but peek in next time you walk past a coffeeshop. You'll see that it's basically always true. I love this. And it's not the only place where people sleep.

3.) Ultimate Convenience

Imagine it: it's 3am. You're awake for some reason. You really need whiteboard markers, a bottle of whiskey, disposable underwear, a poncho, 45 AAA batteries, microwave dumplings, six cans of Red Bull, bleach, K-Y jelly, three decks of playing cards, lip gloss, a road atlas, a box cutter or two, a Hello Kitty charm, some Lindt chocolate, a pre-fab apartment rental contract, access to a copy machine, a place to pay your gas bill and bullet train tickets, and you need this stuff like right now. Nevermind why you might need all this stuff - you just do, and you have five minutes. 

Well, you've come to the right country.

In the USA this might sound like a frat house hazing ritual in which you speed to the nearest 24-hour Walmart and run around like a crazyperson before the brothers whip you for failing, but in Taiwan this is a perfectly doable list: you can have all that stuff in a matter of minutes at any time of day or night, and you can usually walk to a place where it's all sold.

Seriously - I know "it's really convenient" and "there are a lot of convenience stores" are easy things to say about Taiwan, but seriously. In Shilin, there's an intersection where, from one 7-11, you can look across the street directly into the storefront of another 7-11. There is a crosswalk connecting them. Around the corner is a 3rd 7-11 and one of the three is next to a Family Mart. It's insane. Near me, there are two 7-11s and a Family Mart within a 2-minute walk, and that 2 minutes includes the time it takes to get out of my building. Sometimes I want a Sam Adams and think to myself, "eh, but the 7-11 that stocks Sam Adams is across the street. It's so inconvenient to have to cross the street! If I stay on this side of the street I can go to the 7-11 that has Asahi Dry." Once, I bought myself a bottle of plum wine (also sold at the 7-11 near me!) and six bags of M&M's to make cookies...and I didn't even worry that the cashier might think I'm weird.

Because clearly I've been here too long.

4.) Ridiculous Dogs

This one is best captured in photos:

This one's my buddy 胖胖 who lives nearby. Don't make fun.

5.) Crazy Things People Say To Other People

And I don't just mean the insane things that locals say to foreigners (although that can get pretty crazy, too). Even things locals say to other locals.

I have a student who is a doctor, and she works with a lot of elderly patients. This particular student is in her late 40s or so, and is married but has chosen not to have children. An example of a conversation (translated into English for you) that she might have with one of the old folks she works with goes thusly:

"Doctor, are you married?"
"I am."
"How many kids do you have?"
"I don't have kids."
"Why? Are you infertile?"
"Uhhh..."

"Oh, I know. Your husband shoots blanks, doesn't he. That's too bad."

"Uhhh..."

6.) Designers of Packaging for Consumer Goods Who Have NO IDEA

Again, I'll express this one in photos for you:

WOW! Frog eggs!

Taken by a friend

My Nuts: a timeless classic

I also want to put up a picture of "American Style 6 Hot Dogs in a Jar" but I can't quite find it (it's a friend's photo).


7.) Random Beautiful Things


You know, you're walking through a Taiwan cityscape, one that's maybe more ugly concrete than usual, or is all motorcycle repair shops and betel nut stands (although betel nut stands have an amazingness of their own), and you look down, or look more closely at something, and see a little bit of beauty amid all that gray:

This is why I just can't get behind the notion that Taiwan is all that ugly, even in cities. It has its bad points - there's a lot I'd like to see torn down - but it has its little points of beauty, too. Most major cities do, but some more than others. I'd say that at street level Taipei is one of the more vibrant cities I've visited.

8.) Signs! Signs Everywhere!

Because everyone loves coffee that tastes of coal.

Well, it makes sense...

This is an eyeglass shop. My husband's glasses came from C*NT. Really.

This company has apparently changed its name. I haven't seen this sign in awhile - it changed on the original establishment where I spied it. Too bad.

Oh good. I wanted some pot plants.

Oh no! You killed Grandma!

I'm a monkey. Please throw bricks on my head. Yay!

9.) The Amazingness of Consumer Goods

From here - go visit

I actually have one of these - I just ganked a photo from the Internet because it's a pain to get out my digital camera and impossible to take a photo of my iPhone in its GameBoy case with my iPhone. You know, because of Physics or something.

These are available outside Taiwan, but I do think their availability in night markets says something about the ridiculous and varied consumer items one can find here. Here is another thing I own, thanks to Taiwan:

Yes, this is a lighter shaped like a crab claw, with the flame coming out when you open it. It used to spit out a much bigger flame - can't say much for the quality of this thing!

I mean it, though - from giant chicken head masks (which I have seen) to bright pink fuzzy pencil cases (bought one for my sister) to glitter pants to lobster lighters, the stuff you can buy in this country never ceases to amaze me.

10.) The Willingness of People to Laugh at Themselves

I don't mean this in a bad or insulting way - I mean a certain willingness in Taiwan to self-deprecate a bit. In China, I felt that if you dared to make fun of anything about China, even in jest, and even in that "we laugh about it because we actually love it" sort of way, you're met with silence: either non-comprehension ("why would you make fun of something you actually like?") or offense ("you disrespect China!!!!"). At best people just don't seem to get what's so funny about, well, any given hilarious thing about their country - and every country has hilarious things. It's a little sad to pretend that your country is to be taken 100% seriously. I felt that "don't laugh at us!" attitude in China, and I also come across it too often in the USA - although these days I look at the USA, especially the political realm, and I just feel sad.

What I love about Taiwan - and also India - is an innate sense of humor about themselves. You can imitate an obasan, make a joke about Kaoliang or 藍白脫 (the iconic blue-and-white plastic sandals you see everywhere) or make a humorous observation about culturally-learned behavior, and people will laugh - really laugh, not a fake "I think this is meant to be funny" laugh - rather than stare at you like a weirdo or offensive foreigner who Just Does Not Understand Our Culture. I appreciate that. It keeps things light.