i Will effect you're world with inspiriation

Chase You're Dreams

This is not really related to Taiwan - except for the fact that my Taiwanese Facebook friends seem to have taken to the habit of posting "inspirational quote photos" on Facebook far more than my friends back home.

You know, the "art" of taking inspirational quotes often ones that make no sense, have bad grammar or are utterly banal or could be twisted terribly by the right type of twisted mind (e.g., mine) - superimposed on cute, silly, unrelated or faux-inspirational/religious backgrounds, and then dumping them into the world as though people actually want to see them.

In retaliation - because I really just can't take it anymore - I created a bunch of my own to try and capture the bad grammar, horrific spelling, unintentional hilarity and utter banality of these quotes...and dumped them into the world.

Enjoy.

Seen on a woman's t-shirt in Taipei: this quote, but attributed to Dolce&Gabbana. Not joking.

Think of what you could of done...

Yes, that's what passionate people do. They loose themselves.

If you are casual about your dreams...it's best not to think too much about this one.

...and, the piece de resistance...

...which might offend anyone who is very religious (and seriously, humorlessly so) or who doesn't appreciate smutty humor...

...so look away if that's you...

Let Jesus Come Inside You

But use protection...because according to the loudest and most irritating Christians (who don't represent every Christian, I realize), J-dawg is not too big on abortions.

The Red Tape Diaries

This is Part I of a two-part post - the second section will come after I have my APRC in hand. At that point, I'll presumably have more to share.

Anyway, I've learned a lot as I've gone through the process of getting my APRC, or permanent residency in Taiwan (still not done - fingers crossed). The best compendium of info is here, on Taiwanease, although questions asked in that thread don't get many replies, if any (I believe that will change and things will pick up).

That said, that thread is huge, and there's more to say about the process than can be conveniently put in it - or should be. Personal experience doesn't equate to fact.

So, here's my personal experience.


1.) A lot of information is contradictory - 

One person I met with an APRC insisted that you needed to pay NT$12,000, elsewhere it says that it's NT $10,000. Another said you needed NT$300,000 in savings even if you met the minimum income requirement. Another said that you needed to have met the income requirements for the entire 5 years' you've been here, not just the past year. In one thread, it says that the translation and notarization of your home country background check must be done in the country of origin. Elsewhere it's pretty clear that it can be done in Taiwan once the document is TECRO-authorized. I've also heard that you need to do this all in person in your home country, whereas elsewhere I've heard that you do not.

So far what I've learned is that the fee is NT$10,000 but subject to change, you don't need to show savings if you meet the minimum income requirement of double the national minimum wage (so you need to be earning about NT$430,000/year, and this needs to be reflected on your tax statement so make sure your employer isn't under-reporting you), that you only need to have earned this or be able to prove you've earned it for the past tax year, that you can do the translation and notarization of your home-country background check in Taiwan, and that it is quite easy to have an intermediary do things for you in your home country, it just involves a bit more paperwork (generally filling out more the bottom of the forms).

2.) It's a good idea to check your status before you begin - 


The Immigration office tells you this, but I was so sure that I was fine that I almost didn't do it. When I finally did, I learned that they had lost - lost! - the record of my ARC for my entire 2nd year in Taiwan. Fortunately I had a copy of the ARC in question and that was enough to reinstate my record so I could apply for an APRC.

Which leads me to..

3.) If you hope to get an APRC or it's even a possibility when you first move to Taiwan, SAVE EVERYTHING!


That copy of one year's ARC really saved my ass. Without it, I'd be out of luck.

4.) Don't listen to the "expected timeline" for your home-country background check.


I can't speak for other countries, but the 3-5 weeks promised by the FBI? Bollocks! It took 6 weeks plus a few days in the mail, to an American address! Start way early with this - and...




5.) Do your home country background check first.


It's the longest part of the process and other documents get dangerously close to expiring if you wait too long. When you or your intermediary receives the clearance in the mail, start the rest of the process.

6.) The Taipei NIA office has a post office downstairs, conveniently close to where they do fingerprints.


So, you can mail out your background check application to your home country right after you get the fingerprinting done. So convenient.

7.) Prepare more than one fingerprint card -

The woman knows what she's doing but mistakes happen and coming back is a pain.

8.) If you get your health check for the APRC, it can't be used to renew an ARC, but if you do an ARC check and APRC check at the same time, you save money.


Most of the procedures are the same, so they only charge you for the extra blood and the extra processing. The fees for the check, X-ray, etc. are combined so you only pay slightly more than the cost of one check. -

9.) Many people say you can get a police background check in Taiwan (CCRD) from your "local" police office. This is probably wrong.


Maybe not, but my local office - Da'an, so not exactly the boonies! - had no idea what I was talking about when I went. I finally figured out that I needed to go to the large office in Ximen (MRT Ximen Exit 5, walk straight ahead one minute). You'd be well advised to just do this rather than wasting time at the local police office. Bring your ARC and passport. It's cheap and quick and takes just a few days to process.

10.) The Taiwan CCRD is a lot easier to get than your home country background check.


6 weeks and $18 plus fingerprints from the FBI vs. two days and NT100, no fingerprints, from Taiwan. Awesome! You don't have to rush as much on this.

11.) Everyone says "get the home country background check translated and notarized" but it's hard to find information on where exactly you can do that.


So I will tell you: there's a notary that advertises on Taiwanease here (Neihu), and another one near 228/Ximen: Chongqing S. Road Section 1 #121 7th floor #1 (台北市重慶南路1段121號7樓之1) - call (02)2388-8688 to make an appointment.

When I find a translation service I will update here. I still don't know where to get that done.

12.) Notarization is surprisingly expensive - 


NT$750, so make sure your documents are in order the first time. I was surprised because for a time I was a notary in Virginia, but I performed notarization duties for free for my old company (who sponsored me in getting the designation so I could notarize things for associates).

13.) If you have an intermediary pick up your home country background check and take it to TECRO, TECRO will want a lot of stuff, including a notarized authorization letter from you.


For US only: send your intermediary your signed application and have them fill in the bottom part, a US dollar bank check, money order or cashier's check payable to TECRO for US$15 plus US$38 if you want it sent directly back to you (if you have your intermediary pick it up and mail it to you, you don't need to include the US$38). You can get a US dollar bank check at First Bank on Heping E. Road, a short walk west from Heping/Fuxing intersection. Hua Nan bank should also do it. Fubon has weird rules and it takes a few days, but the First Bank gave it to me immediately.

Also send your intermediary a copy of your ID (I included ARC and passport to be safe), a letter with the address you'd like the authenticated document sent to, and a notarized authorization letter from you, allowing your intermediary to do this. If you have no idea what to say, pick and choose elements from the templates here.

You can get the letter notarized at the locations above. Make sure to have your intermediary's name in the letter as it appears on their ID (they'll need to bring a copy of their ID, as well).

14.) If your ARC is close to expiration, having an APRC application in process does not entitle you to extend your ARC, you need to do that through regular means.


I learned this the hard way - I thought that if I applied for my APRC before my ARC expired, that it would be OK because, with an application in process, they'd extend the ARC. No dice. So, get both health checks done at once and then extend your ARC as usual if you are in this position.

Or, do the APRC process when your ARC isn't close to expiring and save yourself a lot of stress. Learn from my mistakes.

15.) If you really don't want to extend your ARC (like, you hate your job and don't want to sign another contract but need to in order to renew), you can await an APRC on a visitor's visa.


Once the APRC application has been submitted, you don't need to continue to have an ARC - they will no longer care if you've had one "unbroken" for 5 years if they already have the APRC application. You can leave and come back on a visitor's visa as you await your APRC.

16.) I thought it would take just a few short weeks after applying.


Wrong. I haven't submitted the documents yet but I will soon, however, the NIA told me that once you've submitted, it takes up to a month for them to determine whether to grant you an APRC or not. If they say a month, plan for more (see above with my bad FBI experience).

17.) Keep copies of everything. Everything!


You never know when they'll come in handy. Never submit an original if you don't have a copy, and try to get two originals of everything.

18.) That thread on Taiwanease is just right when it comes to the order in which you should prepare your documents:


1.) Call Immigration to make sure you are eligible and have no outstanding issues (this really saved my butt)
2.) Get your old work permits and tax returns in order
3.) Apply for home country background check (inc. fingerprints)
4.) Prepare and documents for your intermediary if you have one
5.) Authorize background check at TECRO
6.) Translate and notarize background check
7.) While #3 and #4 are in process, get your health check and Taiwan CCRD (background check)
8.) Get your employment certificate from work (valid for only 1 month)
9.) Make copies of everything, incl. ARC and every page of your passport
10.) Call Immigration (NIA) and let them take it from there


Anyway, that's about it. The whole process has been quite illuminating, and not nearly as bureaucratic as I'd feared (really the most bureaucratic part of it is all the crap surrounding my FBI background check. The Taiwan side is surprisingly easy).

Cat vs. Crab

I'm not feeling like posting much this week, so please enjoy this photo I snapped of a cat in one of my favorite cafes (Cafe Mono on Fuxing S. Road) entranced by a crab fearing for its life.

Ah, Taipei.

Sa jiao sa jiao la

Here's an interesting article - note I did not say I agreed with it, merely that it was an interesting read - on 撒嬌 or the idea of womanly coquettishness. 

I am way too busy to write a typically long post, so here's my immediate reaction:

This runs so counter to the personality pretty much every Taiwanese friend I have that I don't believe it's as common anymore as the article says it is (although I *have* seen it in action among strangers). My female friends don't do this - and my male friends don't like it. While they are interesting and intelligent people, I wouldn't say they're weird, quirky or "the exception rather than the rule" - I think they're one subset of people from a younger generation that is slowly eschewing this sort of gender role...gender role...gender role what? Well, I hesitate to say bullshit but my instincts scream it, because I have zero tolerance for "gender roles". Individual roles, sure, but gender roles can suck it.

There are other things I don't like about the article - no mention at all of foreign women dating Chinese or Taiwanese men and how they might be affected by this cultural issue, the *(non-threatening)* in parentheses to denote women's careers (how condescending!), the somewhat
outdated assumptions that I've found don't ring as true in Taiwan...even if they used to, and even if they still exist to some extent. I also find it funny that the article notes the "strong, manly presence" of the male partner in these relationships as though it is the only thing, or the best thing, the man brings to the table. As if.

If the widespread acceptance of 小三 or "mistresses" in China and Taiwan is anything to go by, sa jiao doesn't even really do what the author of this piece claims it does, which is enable a woman to test and ensure her partner's devotion, love, and putting of her needs above his own. Which, anyway, since when is either partner's needs "above" the other's, and since when is a healthy relationship one in which love needs to be "tested" or "proven"? 

I also think that a lot of Taiwanese women who date Western men generally do it because they don't want to sa jiao...and plenty of Western men pretend to be exasperated by it but secretly love it. They whine, but deep down they don't want a woman who doesn't appear to need them in this way. I don't really care for that sort of attitude, but hey, those guys can like what they like and I can keep my distance (honestly, I don't even want friends who view women in that way), and we're all happy.

As a Western woman, I do have to admit that while I see the cultural aspects of sa jiao and can basically tolerate it from that perspective, I do have biases and one of my biases is anti-sa jiao: I do lose a bit of respect for men who like it (Asian or Western) and for women who engage in it (Asian or Western). I should probably be more openminded, but you know, the first step is admitting your biases.

There is an obvious answer here: my female friends in Taiwan don't engage in sa jiao because I do gravitate toward women who don't act that way, and my male Taiwanese friends wouldn't be my friends if they liked coquettish women (even in friendship) or were with a woman who was jealous of their female friends (even though I am zero threat, in fact, if it were possible to be a negative-number threat I would be).

The article mentions that needing a man and not being too independent are considered "positives" in Chinese culture - although again, I am around so many women in Taiwan who are not needy but are independent, and they've been doing just fine in the dating world - I'd like to see sa jiao die a natural death not because it's considered "wrong" to be coquettish, but because it stops being considered a good thing for a woman to act (or be) needy, clingy or dependent...because it's not a good thing.

If my friends are anything to go by,  already dying.

Taipei Wine & Gourmet Food Expo 2012

Honestly this one tasted like licking the butthole of a civet cat. Not that I'd know what that tastes like. It was a like a "civet cat butthole licking fantasy", if you will.

                                        

Taipei is a fantastic city for the sorts of big-venue "come and get a discount" expos that draw average consumers (unlike where I'm from, where you'd generally be a huge gung-ho hobbyist, dedicated pro or industry specialist if you were to actually go to something like that). When I have the time, I love "expo surfing" the various trade shows and events that pass through Xinyi and Nangang's exhibition spaces. 

                         

So far I have to say that the wine expo we went to yesterday was the best one I've been to, even though it was also one of the smallest. Taking up only one portion of one hall in Xinyi's World Trade Center complex, it wasn't as packed as the travel expo, as chaotic as the pet expo or as bewildering as the book expo (I'll be honest, the book expo left me a bit cold. I love reading, but almost all of the booths sold books in Chinese. That makes sense, I've got nothing against doing that in Taipei where most expo-goers will be native speakers of Chinese wanting to buy books in their main language, but it meant there wasn't much for me there and we didn't stay long. I can read Chinese, basically, but I don't really want to shop for books written in it).

People sniff truffles

This was for a group, not just her

It cost 400 NT to get in, but it was worth it. There were crowds but few lines (unlike the open-to-the-public food events and restaurant fairs and "Taste of Wherever" events in cities in the USA, where you often line up for 30 minutes to get a little bite of something that isn't even as good as it would have been had it been served in the restaurant itself). You get a free wine glass - not a bad one, either - and you would go around and get free tastes of any wines you wanted from any booths. My sister was impressed - she said that in Portland you'd go to something like this and pay $10 to get in, only to pay 50 cents or a dollar per tasting once inside. 

The discounts were also pretty good - we got thousand-NT wines for maybe NT$500 and some other good deals (we came home with four bottles - three Portuguese reds and one Spanish white). The selection was impressive - some local companies, some importers - German, Slovakian, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Chilean, Californian, Australian, South African, Italian - all good stuff, with a wide selection from sweet frizzante moscato to super dry cabernet. 

#stuffwhitepeoplelike

They didn't just have wine - other than a booth full of women in Neoprene dominatrix outfits hawking delicious Dictador Colombian rum (and it was REALLY GOOD), there were booths featuring fine meats, cheeses, honey, jams and truffles, as well as coffee and fancy mineral water. They had booths selling wine storage devices, but we skipped those.

It was easy to take a break, which is good, 'cause we got pretty tanked and would have been far worse off without those other options.

All in all, this expo is my most highly-recommended one to visit in Taipei. Go, drink, enjoy, have fun, and take a taxi home.

The first rule of wine expo is "don't talk about wine expo"

Taiwan's Invisible Innovation

India's Invisible Innovation

Interesting talk, especially when he quotes people who say "Indians don't do innovation...they aren't good with the creative stuff...it has nothing to do with Indians, it's their schooling, based on rote memorization".

This reminds me of what a lot of people say about Taiwan - oh, it's not that Taiwanese aren't creative, it's their schooling which beats creativity out of them and doesn't value opinion, independent thought and artistic expression" - what I myself have said about Taiwan, although I'd like to take a lot of that that back.

I do think the teaching methodology and ideas about education in Taiwan are screwed up: I feel that the education system here doesn't foster creativity, and they don't value opinions, independent thought or artistic expression. There is a lot of regimentation and rote learning, a lot of teaching to the test, a lot of cramming and very little encouraged inquisitiveness. My opinions in that regard have not changed.

BUT...

Despite this, creativity breaks through - more than most Westerners think. In fact, I'm beginning to believe it's snottiness as well as possibly mild (but probably unintentional) racism. It's true that I've noticed trends: students who reply to a question asking for an opinion with a fact ("what, my opinion matters?"), students who come into a class believing that cramming their head with new words or phrases - which they will forget or use incorrectly - is more important than taking the time to practice fewer new lexical items and gain more fluency, students who think that formal usage is always better, or that grammar accuracy always trumps fluency, or who think that fluency is something that can be memorized.

BUT, again...

I've also noticed that there are many creative souls in Taiwan, and that there are people who love to ask questions or who just enjoy gaining the confidence and fluency to talk in a language as naturally and effortlessly as possible. There are so many more inquisitive people, thoughtful people and artistic people than many foreigners give Taiwan credit for having.

All this, not because of but despite the cramming and test prep that defines Taiwanese schooling (both government-run and cram school-based).

So why do I still hear the same "blah blah blah Taiwanese don't do creativity" bullshit, which I myself have been guilty of spewing? Why don't people see it?

Because, like India, a lot of it is invisible. I mean, you have a lot of artistic types who make things, who create, who cover walls with art, who run booths selling their work at markets and fairs, all that terrible poetry from poetry contests published on the MRT (I'm sorry, I'm not a fan) - and you have the entrepreneurial types who get creative when starting up their small businesses. But so much creativity in Taiwan goes into products that don't get branded as being created in Taiwan. "Made in Taiwan", maybe, once upon a time, but not created here. Not innovated here. And yet, in many cases, they were.

Who do you think designed the technology that allows you to stream video on your smartphones? A bunch of Taiwanese R&D guys, that's who (and some other folks, too, but the R&D labs of Taiwan were involved). Who is behind the push to make ever smaller, more powerful semiconductor wafer technology? Taiwanese R&D guys. A lot of apps, branding and design come out of the USA, but a lot of graphics, games and innovation not meant for end users (or meant for end users but not branded as having come from Taiwan or, more generally, Asia) comes out of Asia, including Taiwan.

Basically, everything Nirmalya Kumar says about India in the talk above could also be said about Taiwan - possibly more so (although I don't want to get into a debate on that, I can't really say for sure).

Taiwan is home to innovation, and it is home to creativity. A lot of creativity. You just don't see it because it's not branded that way. It's in the research, development, design and production of components within a product that you think was innovated entirely in the West.

The 2012 Taipei Pet Expo

Taipei's annual Pet Expo was held this year at Nangang Exhibition Center - not sure if this year kicked of with a "parade of 100 poodles" as last year's did, because I didn't make it until Sunday, but the pet expo (along with the travel and book expos - but not Computex, not yet) are my favorite annual expo events in Taiwan. And by "favorite" I mean "the only ones I go to".

                       

                      

I don't have much to say about the pet expo - except that if you have a pet and are looking to pick up some discount goods, or just want to take friendly Fido out for a fun day sniffing other dogs' butts, it's worthwhile. We have our cat, Stupidface (just kidding, his name is 招財) and did want to price new carriers and buy him a longer-lasting scratch pad that wouldn't leave cardboard bits all over the floor, and were successful (although we didn't buy a carrier - the one we wanted wasn't actually for sale that day). It's also a good chance to drop by Animals Taiwan's booth and donate, or any of the other rescue organizations there.

The expo mostly has booths catering to dogs, but people did bring other pets - cats, rabbits, gerbils, guinea pigs, a sable (pictured below) - I don't know how they got their cats to tolerate it. Our Stupidface would have freaked out in that sort of setting, so we left him at home. He freaks out on the short walk to the vet's office.

And, of course, many of the dogs are either ridiculously gussied up (above), or preternaturally cute (below).

I got tickets for free because one of my corporate clients is Merial, a manufacturer of animal medicines, and they gave me two free entry passes. I stopped by to say hi, saw the showgirls, browsed, petted cute animals, bought a wooden cat scratch pad, and took photos.

Seriously, none of the cats we saw looked even remotely happy. The dogs were, however, delighted to be there.

It was extremely crowded - actual traffic jams, not unlike Computex, made it hard to get around (plus all the dogs underfoot). I also found it hard, as it usually is. to take good photos of animals who aren't necessarily interested in cooperating - especially when I am the least interesting thing in their field of vision.

Even the pet expo has booth babes - these ladies worked for my client's booth.

Adorable sleeping sable. I was all "I could make a coat out of you!!" and the owner was all "Nooo!"