Postcards from Pingxi - Pingxi town and Houtong Cat Village

A few weeks ago we did a day hike and a bit of wandering in the Pingxi area (accessible by bus or a small tourist rail line that runs from Ruifang at one end to Jingtong at the other) - it's become increasingly popular in the years since we've been here, but we hadn't explored the area in quite some time (in part because it is so popular now - it's too crowded most weekends).

We've been to Jingtong (an overnight hiking trip taking in Stone Bamboo Mountain and Shulong Peak) as well as Sandiaoling (site of a fantastic waterfall hike) and Shifen for the waterfall and sky lantern festival, Houtong for the Xiaotzukeng hike, and stopped at Dahua as we completed the Sandiaoling hike, and to Pingxi itself for Dutiful Son Mountain, but have avoided the area since the tourists moved in in earnest.

In fact, the above is a pretty great list of solid Pingxi hikes - you'd be wise to save it for future reference.




Now I wish we'd spent more time here over the past few years. If you come early enough or choose a hot day when a lot of Taipei day-trippers stay home or go somewhere air-conditioned (I love how Costco is a "fun family day trip" here - and the kids love it!) it's really not that bad, and there's a lot to recommend the area.

Before we set off on the Dongshige Trail (topic of my next post) we spent a little time in Pingxi. After the hike we spent some time in Houtong, which is now famous for being the "cat" village, with hundreds, if not thousands, of cared-for tame-but-semi-stray cats that you can watch, pet, play with and, if the locals allow it, feed.

I thought I'd first post a few photos for your enjoyment before I wrote a second post on our hike.

First, Pingxi, famous for "sky lanterns" (which you've no doubt read about in your guidebook):

...this squid place looks pretty good.



...so does this Hakka tangyuan place.











I recommend the taro ice cream with cilantro and peanut nougat in a crepe wrap sold here. Especially after a hot and dehydrating hike.

There is also a guabao (meat in a steamed bun with peanut crumble, cilantro and more) stand with lean meat that was great (I love guabao but prefer lean meat) and an aboriginal-run mountain pig kebab stand that I recommend very highly. None of these are the "famous" places with long lines. Who cares - avoid the lines and eat at my recommended spots. You'll be happy you did.











We reached Houtong after the hike as the sun set:



This Japanese soda is popular here - you shove the glass marble sealing it into the bottle and drink. It's actually pretty good (I hadn't had it in years so I enjoyed a bottle here).



There weren't as many cats as we'd been led to believe. The soda stand owner said it was partly due to the heat and partly the weekend crowds. Once we'd all left and the weather cooled they'd come out again.















You can buy various cat souvenirs where most of the cats congregate. Proceeds of course profit the family, but also go to care for the cats (seeing as local families do the caregiving). It's worth it to buy something - money for cat food and care needs to come from somewhere.










And the ride out to Houtong - not as crowded as you might think!

Buying Taiwanese Coffee in Taipei

I figured I'm on a coffee roll so I may as well put up one more post about it. A lot of people - even ones living in Taiwan - don't realize that Taiwan does grow coffee. It's not famous, it's not exported as far as I know, and it varies in quality, but when grown and roasted right, it's delicious and absolutely a delight to drink. But because it's mostly very locally produced and not always easy to track down, it tends to be expensive.

The thing about Taiwanese coffee is that it makes a great gift - if your loved ones are sick of tea or are not tea drinkers, and you've given them all the Chinesey tchotchkes they can take, a bag of Taiwanese coffee is a unique and often surprising gift from the country you've chosen to call home (forever or for now).

This post will need to be updated as I double-check cafes I've been to that sell Taiwanese coffee in bean or drink form, but I figured I'd do my best for now.

Information on all of these places can be found in more detail in this post, or this one.

You can read more about Taiwanese coffee here and here.

Fong-Da
#42 Chengdu Road, MRT Ximen
成都路42號

You can get a good cup of Taiwanese coffee here for about NT150 (it may be a bit more), and I am pretty sure in their large selection of whole bean coffees there is at least one Taiwanese coffee.

Shake House
Wenzhou St. Lane 86 (Xinsheng S. Road, almost to Roosevelt, take the lane across from NTU between the Family Mart and the Truth Lutheran Church)

No Taiwanese coffee on the menu here, but you can get very high-end own-roasted Taiwanese coffee, I believe from Nantou, in whole-bean form. It costs about NT$600-800/package (prices vary based on market fluctuations). Makes a great gift, brews very well, and you'll know you're getting quality.

Naruwan Indigenous People's Market
Guangzhou and Huanhe Rd. Intersection, at the far end of the Guangzhou St. Night Market
MRT Longshan Temple

This market has a coffee stall that will brew you a cup of Taiwanese coffee that is flavorful and delicious. They'll also sell you the beans, but they're not cheap - up to NT$1100 for a bag.

Booday Cafe
Nanjing W. Road Lane 25 #18-1
南京西路25巷18-1號

This is one I'm going to have to go back and re-check. I have a memory, though, of a cup of Taiwanese coffee being on the menu. Don't take my word for it, though. I'll update this at a future date.

Leezen ((里仁) Organic Stores 
They're all over Taipei, but the one we went to is near Gongguan/Taipower Building. Near So Free Pizza, on Roosevelt Road Sec. 3, Lane 283 and across from Wenzhou Park.
羅斯福路三段283巷溫州公園旁

You can buy organic coffee from Kaohsiung here. The bags are small, but also less expensive (in the NT$350 range). It's not as good as Shake House's more expensive roast. but it is quite nice and perfectly drinkable.

The Most Atmospheric Coffeeshops in Taipei

Ya Zhi Lin Coffee on Guiyang Street

A long while back I posted my rundown of the best coffee in Taipei. While it's not a comprehensive list, it's one borne of personal experiences. Those places are still all among my favorites, and I update it regularly.

That said, there are so many other great coffee drinking choices in Taipei that may not warrant making it onto the "best" list on the merits of their coffee, but still deserve a mention for their friendliness, atmosphere or both. From posh to studenty, from knickknacky and warm to cool and minimalist, from fashionable to so uncool it's cool, here's my list of the most atmospheric coffeeshops in Taipei. There is some overlap between these two lists - I think it's justified!

Caffe Libero (or failing that - it can be hard to get seats - any number of coffeeshops in that immediate area).
Jinhua Street Lane #243 #1 (金華街243巷1號), near Yongkang Street's Shi-da end

This one near Yongkang Street also makes my list of "great coffee" and "great desserts", so you know it's a winner. The atmosphere here includes a long porch with outdoor seating, eclectic vintage chairs (think Grandma's Victorian Good Red Velvet vintage, not meet-cute '50s vintage) and old milk glass lights.

Formosa Vintage Museum Cafe
Xinyi Rd. Sec 2 #178 3rd Floor (totally innocuous building)
信義路2段178號3樓

Really just a few tables in a small space crammed with one guy's personal collection of fascinating Taiwanese antiques and vintage items - free tour with an order of tea or coffee. The only food is basic cookies, but it's worth it to just hang out here among all the old stuff with a cup of something. Great selection of vintage-style postcards for sale.

8mm
Xinsheng S. Road Sec. 3 Lane 60 #1
新生南路3段60巷1號

A newer, artier place in Gongguan with odd fashion items hung below faux goat heads, low tables and an achingly hip staff. The food and coffee are good but not excellent, but it's a good place to meet someone for a non-alcoholic drink (although they can and do spike coffee and hot chocolate).

Booday Cafe
Nanjing W. Road Lane 25 #18-1 (along the park between Zhongshan and Shuanglian MRTstations)
南京西路25巷18-1號

Hipster-friendly cafe with warm, welcoming natural light above a boutique selling handmade-in-Taiwan items. Their best coffee is the India Mysore or the Taiwan coffee and the desserts are pretty good, too.

Old Tree Cafe
Xinsheng S. Road Sec. 1 #60
新生南路1段60號

Very old Taipei "institution" full of cranky old people - many of them Mainlanders - old wood furniture from the '60s and '70s, jet fuel coffee, right smack on an unappealing section of Xinsheng S. Road (somewhere in that stretch between Xinyi and Zhongxiao, I think past Ren'ai), but worth going to for the atmosphere once inside. This one's in the "vintage before it was cool" stage of hipster evolution.

Futai Street Mansion (actually tea more than coffee)
Yanping S. Road #26 near North Gate
延平南路26號, 北門附近

A very small cafe serving basic drinks and light snacks (think cookies) in, you guessed it, the Futai Street Mansion (Yanping S. Road, just southwest of North Gate, or Beimen - one old-style manse in an area that used to be entirely made up of such architecture. It's been renovated by the government and open as a public space. The wood inside is all Taiwanese cypress, so it smells divine. You can wander the house and have tea, and I think coffee, in the gift shop.

Whose Books
Roosevelt Rd. Sec 3 #308-1 2nd Floor (entrance at the back, in the lanes)
羅斯福路3段301－1號2樓

A used bookshop in Gongguan, smack at the end of Xinsheng S. Road where it hits Roosevelt (entrance from the back, in the lanes on the other side of Roosevelt). Small coffeeshop among a sea of used books (English books upstairs). Yes, you can grab books to peruse and order a coffee or tea in the cafe as you decide what, if anything, to buy. Discounted or free drink if you donate books. The coffee isn't great, but it'll do, and I like the verbena herbal tea. I like the old square Chinese-style table.

Cat's Got Nothing To Do Cafe
Maokong - turn left after exiting the Gondola and walk past the first bit of development, until you reach the place with the white umbrellas and great view.

A small outdoor setup on Maokong with a fantastic view of the Taipei Basin towards Guanyin Mountain and Danshui. Look for the white umbrellas (from Maokong Gondola station, the best view is at the tables on the right side of the road).

It's easy enough to find. Exit gondola station, turn left, keep going past the first clutch of stalls until you get to a coffeeshop, not teahouse, like setup of white umbrella-topped tables.

Shake House
Wenzhou Street Lane 86 intersection behind the Lutheran Church and across from Bastille, near Xinsheng S. Road, Gongguan

I mentioned this before under "best coffee", and am mentioning it again for its atmosphere! With decrepit mismatched chairs, upside-down flower pot pendant lamps, a floor that feels like it'll give out at any moment, a somewhat treacherous bathroom and an impressive collection of LPs (although they often just play music off of an iPod), the studenty vibe of this friendly place can't be beat.

Nancy Coffee
Near the Chongqing/Huating/Tianshui intersections south of Nanjing W. Road

I love this 1970s throwback so much that I wrote an entirely separate blog post on it, even though they have no wifi, terrible jet fuel coffee and very mediocre snack sandwiches. It's in one of my favorite neighborhoods - southeast of Dihua Street, not far from the Chongqing-Tianshui intersection, and shows its age, and the age of the historic neighborhood around it. Really just a retro place, cool "before it was cool", in that it's totally not cool but I think it's cool, which makes me maybe a proto-hipster?

Yongle Market Coffee
Yongle Market, Dihua Street

Head to Yongle Market (that ugly thing that looks like a municipal monstrosity attached to the lovely old brick and wood-screen market on Dihua Street), where the ugly building hits the lovely building there's an outdoor coffeeshop with plastic seats, umbrella-topped tables, terribly saccharine 1950s music, mediocre coffee but pretty good choices of fresh fruit smoothies and milk blends. I like this place because it's smack in the middle of the action on Dihua Street and outside, so you can watch the comings and goings of people who spend time or do business there, and it's a good choice for a pleasant day when you don't want to be behind a pane of glass.

Drop Coffee
Xinsheng S. Road Sec. 3 #149-11
新生南路三段149之11號


I also mentioned this one in my "best coffee" post, because it really does have some of the best coffee in Taipei (also, some of the most caffeinated). Situated in an old Japanese house, across the street from another one that's still a private residence, with an open coffee bar that you can sit at and watch your siphon brew be made, it's also got a lot of atmosphere.

Coffee, Tea or Me
Wenzhou (溫州）Street north of Lane 86 and just south of Xinhai Rd.

This spot, across from La Boheme (which used to be great, but their food went downhill and they no longer have a cat) in an area rife with coffeeshops, has a scruffy, studenty vibe with an open-ish, woody seating area, mismatched lamps, an old-skool espresso machine, good wifi, artsy posters and postcards and a very grumpy cat who likes to sleep on that espresso machine.

Red House (Ximen, not the outdoor balcony bar I like in Shi-da - that's cool too, but they don't really do much in the way of coffee)
MRT Ximen, Chengdu Road #10
捷運西門站成都路10號


The famous Red House Theater, with great coffeeshop inside

 Everyone knows this historic site near Ximen (MRT Exit 1), but not everyone realizes there's a lovely coffeeshop cafe inside. When I first moved here it was where the gift shop is now, with colorful chairs, the same CD played every day and very good focaccia sandwiches - and the market behind it was unused space. Then it became Cho West, which was classier but less welcoming. Now it's something similar (may still be Cho West actually) but has a more comfortable feel, with vintage tables, crochet throws and knickknacks. When in Ximen and not at Fong-da (which has great coffee, a cheap breakfast and good beans for home brewing) I like to come here to enjoy the atmosphere before shopping in the relatively new market area for entrepreneurial artists and designers.

Fong-Da Coffee
#42 Chengdu Road, Taipei (just up the street from Red House)
成都路49號

It would be blasphemy not to mention this old Taipei institution with its old school formica tables, huge plastic tubs of snacks, sundaes and delicious coffee (including a very good Taiwanese coffee) - it's modern and popular but with a fun retro kick. Also a great place to buy whole bean coffee, and they sell coffee cups and saucers with their name and logo. I have one!

Mono Cafe
Fuxing S. Road Sec 2 #349
復興南路二段349號1F

This is a more minimal, eggshell-paint-and-blonde wood coffeeshop with a friendly, talkative cat just north of NTU on Fuxing S. Road. The music is usually pretty palatable, they seem to be somewhat into photography, the food is not bad - it won't change your life but it's pretty solid as food goes - and their Bailey's latte (not to mention their Cointreau latte) are both fantastic, as is their matcha milk (think like a milky matcha tea). I like the big blonde wood tables, excellent, if you can grab a whole one, for anything involving a group - and also fine to just grab a corner if you're a pair or on your own. There isn't a lot of seating but the place feels spacious thanks to the light colors and pretty minimal design.


Rufous Coffee
Fuxing S. Road Sec. 2 #333
復興南路二段333號 

Some of the best espresso in Taipei is brewed here - try the Irish coffee, the iced cognac coffee with ice cream, the iced banana mocha espresso, and for something lighter, the honey cinnamon latte. A total contrast to Mono's sense of space and light, this place is tiny, dark, with soft chairs and tons of knickknacks and arty bits&bobs - and they are practically right next door to each other! Good people-watching from the waiting-or-smoking seats outside. Hard to get seats - often crowded. Great place to hole up on a cold, dreary day.

Lin Family Garden Cafe
Ximen Street #9, Banqiao, New Taipei City (MRT Banqiao or Fuzhong)
新北市板橋區西門街9號

This almost obligatory cafe in the Lin Family Garden in Banqiao feels like it was placed here by government decree, but you really can't beat it for outdoor style. You can dip a coffee or tea and enjoy the very (very) historic Qing-era surroundings in the cobbled courtyard. It was closed the last time we happened by, but had plans to reopen and should be in full swing now.

Little Chiu (Xiaoqiu)Cafe, Zhuzihu, Yangmingshan
陽明山竹子湖小丘咖啡

Sadly, I can't find an address for this place (but I can ask a friend and update later) - it's a lovely, not too twee coffeeshop on a hillside near Yangmingzhan's Bamboo Lake (the one where you can pick calla lilies). It's near, not on, the lake, but the view from the coffeeshop and lawn on a clear day is astounding and lovely. Pretty good sweets, coffee and tea, too.

Yazhilin Coffee （雅之林研磨咖啡)
Guiyang Street Sec 2 #133
貴陽街二段133號



You want atmosphere? This place in an old wreck of a shophouse, with lots of local color, is the place to go. With local residents stopping by to drink and talk with their tiny dogs, a market-like area and Qingshui Temple nearby, this Wanhua Guiyang Street stop is one of my hidden-gem favorites. Shhh, don't tell anyone. What I love about Wanhua, Dalongdong and Dadaocheng is running into cool places like this...they're everywhere, but you have to walk by them by chance to find them, you can't usually look 'em up.

***

I wanted to add Zabu on Pucheng Street to the list, but sadly, they are closed. I blame the reactionary assholes in the Shi-da community (and who must have a lot of guanxi in the government) who got all the best places (except Red House) shut down. Fuck those guys, and fuck Hau Lung-bin, their idiot playtoy who went along with it.

Update: Zabu is back! You can find them at the tippy-top of Tianmu. Go all the way to the end of Zhongshan Road where it terminates in a traffic circle (somewhere above that, past very expensive luxury apartments, is the down-mountain entrance to Tianmu Old Trail) - heading uphill towards the circle, Zabu is on the left just as the road terminates and the circle begins.

#175, Zhongshan N. Road Section 7, Shilin District, Taipei, Taiwan
台北市士林區中山北路七段175號1樓

More Updates:

I also recommend:
Cafe Classic/Flying Cafe/品客經典咖啡
台北市大安區雲和街48之1 - Da'an District, Yunhe St. #48-1 (off Shi-da Road)

This place is not actually all that atmospheric, and they have neither good wifi nor good 3G service, but there are three adorable cats and all of them are basically friendly (one doesn't like to be picked up though). There's a fat grayish-white longhair, a puffy black longhair and a shorthaired folded-ear cat. The coffee's not bad either. But really I'm just a sucker for cats. A great place to study because you won't be distracted by anything on wifi or 3G!

Anhe 65 - a big comfortable space at Anhe Road Sec. 1 #65 (安和路1段65號) in the basement - great for days with bad weather - with two cats - one friendlier than the other, good coffee, excellent sandwiches and a little shop. Sometimes booked for events.

Cafe Prague
Da'an District, Wenzhou St. #50 (closer to Shi-da and Heping Road than Gongguan)
台北市溫州街50號

I can't find a website for this place, but the atmosphere - very European (or at least trying to be, and succeeding more than most places) with polished wood floors and furniture (including tables with delicate chairs that might make you feel like a bit of a hulking mass), a grand piano, one well-placed statement vase full of cut flowers, a long, shining wooden coffee bar and friendly, uniformed staff will make you feel more comfortable than you might at first think when you walk in.

Yaboo Cafe
台北市大安區永康街41巷26號
Yongkang Street Lane 41 #26

Comfy, hipsterish place with pretty good sandwiches and coffee. They have lots of big tables and some cushioned seating, 
too. Although there is lots of space, you may have to wait at busy times (on weekends, mostly) because its proximity to 
the main drag of Yongkang Street make it very popular. There are 2 cats - a big yellow one who hides a lot and a little gray 
one who likes to sleep in a specific chair and doesn't mind being petted. Good wifi, good service,
 good atmosphere.


Fleisch
Dihua Street #76 (迪化街76號)

Fleisch has food too, but you can definitely go there and just enjoy a cup of coffee. In a converted shophouse (which doesn't have that much of a historic feel from the inside, although interesting Taiwanese souvenirs - the handmade artsy kind, not the fake Chinese kind - are on sale on the lower level, with more seating upstairs), they're right on Dihua Street near the Xiahai temple, and serve good lattes in large bowls rather than mugs.

Film Studio Cafe
Xinsheng S. Road Section 3 Lane 70 #6
新生南路三段70巷6號

A good option in Gongguan - where all the best cafes have gone ever since those crusty old reactionary jerks ruined Shi-da, with big wooden tables that can seat a group. Bring your Macbook to look like one of the in-crowd, and if you're a large group I believe you can make a reservation.

A8 Coffee
Heping E. Road Sec. 3 Lane 67 #8 / 和平東路三段67巷8號 between MRT Liuzhangli and Technology Building


A8 Cafe's dark, chic space

This large, brick-walled, wooden-tabled coffeeshop with square windowpanes is run by Bunun aborigines and has basic coffee, alcoholic drinks, juices, meals (which smell pretty good), desserts (not bad) and large tables as well as sofas and cushioned chairs for groups. It's rarely totally full and has a cool aborigine/art/industrial/retro chic vibe that I like. A latte and a dessert (all desserts come with a free little pannacotta with fruit topping along with whatever you ordered) will run about NT300.

Cafe Mussion
Heping E. Road Section 2 #134 on the edge of the National Taipei University of Education campus, MRT Technology Building
(和平東路二段134號，國立台北教育大學裡面)

This place has floor-to-ceiling windows with a modern-shabby-chic look to it - a small dessert selection and weathered-wood tables of various sizes (some low with soft chairs, some regular cafe tables, some large tables and bartops for groups). I love the thick tables and kind of want one for my house. The "academic coffee" (no idea why it's called that) comes in the coolest two-layered clear glass cup ever.

Covent Garden Coffee
#8 Lane 18 Nanjing West Road - 南京西路18巷8號 - along the lanes bordering the old railroad park that runs along the red line MRT from Chang'an Road up to Minquan W. Road, south of Zhongshan Station (between Nanjing and Chang'an Roads)

This place looks like it was featured in a "Country Decorating - Back In Style!" photo spread in Better Homes & Gardens in 1976 or so. It's '70s retro meets "country" - think lots of dark wood, pumpkins and needlepoint and dried herbs and handmade wooden clothespin dolls and your mom's kitchen chairs.

And I love it for that! It's nothing like you'd imagine Covent Garden to be, but it hits that '70s vibe so well.

Coffee is pretty good, the desserts are "eh".

Confucius Coffee
The Confucius Temple, Hami Street

It's really just a coffeeshop in a temple, and not particularly special on the inside, but it's in the Confucius temple! And the last time I was there (a long time ago; they've since renovated), they had cute napkins with a cartoon Confucius on them that said "Confucius Coffee".

Temple Court Coffee (廟口咖啡）



Yongji Street Lane 517 Alley 8 #12-3 (or, from Houshanpi MRT walking along Zhongpo Rd. to Wufenpu, walk past most of Wufenpu to Zhongpo North Road #50 or so...it's basically right at that temple).
永吉路517巷8弄12之3（種破北路50號箱子裡的寺廟左右）

South of Songshan Station you'll run into Wufenpu Fashion Market, bordered on one side by Zhongpo Road, which runs into MRT Houshanpi station, Along that road near Wufenpu is a small temple. In that temple, facing the road, is a small coffeeshop right between carved stone columns. LOVE IT.

Fact and Fiction: on the love lives of Western women in Taiwan

Not long ago, this ended up on my Facebook page. It was an amusing use of the Batman-slapping-Robin meme, and it was definitely channeling general sentiment (and general assumption) about what it's like to be a foreign woman in Taiwan.

But it also got me thinking - how true is it really? I suppose that could be easily answered with "of course it's true, everyone says it's true, articles and blog posts focus on it, women themselves will tell you it's true", and case closed.

I thought about my female friends, though (focusing on unmarried ones), who live or have lived in Taiwan, and my conclusions were that it's...actually...not true. In fact, I could think of very few who suffered or were suffering from a dead dating and sex life.


As a married woman, I wasn’t sure what I could contribute to that conversation and I wanted to explore this more from other perspectives, so I reached out to all of my unmarried friends. I asked all of them for their input, and some kindly agreed to talk. What I found instead shows issues far more complex. I've included responses from several women (rough ages included because, while it shouldn't matter, sadly, in Taiwan it does).



First, I found that pretty much every woman has chances to date casually or to have a sex life. Of course, that might mean casual hook-ups, and not all women want that (I sure wouldn't if I were single). So in that way this picture is wrong: sex isn't the problem.

Dating - real relationships that last, especially - is the problem. Here, options are limited. We all know why so I won't delve too far into it: the classic points that "the male expats aren't men we're interested in, and anyway they aren't interested in Western women, they're here for Asian women which *can* in some cases be kinda racist/fetishist but isn't always", "Taiwanese men don't go after us” and "Taiwanese men are a possibility but the culture differences in terms of how women are supposed to act and what they are expected to do in a relationship make it harder/impossible”. I'm not a fan of any of these narratives and just don’t want to have that discussion because it's too fraught with stereotypes.



To quote a friend: "I wouldn't ever feel like it's impossible for Western women to find love and, yes, sex in Taiwan. But, I certainly believe that Taiwanese men are much more shy, hesitant, and reserved than what you might be accustomed to in the West. So, I believe if you want it, you'll have to go out and get it.”



The common refrain was "it's easy to find hookups. It's hard to find guys to date."

 Of course, dating and pursuing real relationships is a problem all over the world. This is hardly unique to foreign women in Asia! It may be a little harder here, but it's certainly not very easy in our home countries, either. I see a degree of difference, but not an insurmountable one. And if someone like me, who is not conventionally pretty (I don't think I'm straight-up ugly, just not 'candybox pretty') and not thin, can garner interest (and I do) most women can. Even in Taiwan. Even in Asia.



I found from my friends that experiences attracting interest varied wildly, from "it happens sometimes - it's not so unusual that it'd shock me" (me), to "I get hit on ALL THE TIME" to "it's rare, or I am just approached for hook-ups" to "I feel invisible". But then, isn't that true back home, as well?

Interestingly, a lot of people I know - including women -  "a lot of Western women don't like Asian men", but while they all say that this is a "thing", it's all pegged on these "other women" who "don't like Asian guys" - - but I've truly yet to meet many such women. Either women saying this are trying to disguise their own feelings, or it's an assumption that is not nearly as true as people think.



I also found that the vast majority, when they did date, stuck pretty much to Taiwanese guys. In fact, looking through my friends, I couldn't think of any who'd hooked up with or dated, let alone married, a fellow expat (ed: I've made more friends since this post came out, and that's changed.)

This might be where the stereotype comes from - a few women complain about decreased opportunities (true - but that doesn't mean no opportunities). Then foreign guys notice that they and all their buddies are dating local women, single expat women they meet aren't dating anyone they know, and they know this is an issue in other countries in Asia, and so the assumption that "foreign women can't get none” is born. Without that many foreign women in Taiwan to refute it, it becomes canon.



Add to that the assumption by many expat men - and upheld by foreign women who (as discussed above) don't actually feel that way - that Taiwanese guys aren't desireable, it's easy to see why this idea is so firmly entrenched in the expat community.


Anyway, enough from me. I'm just a boring old married lady who's never actually dated a Taiwanese guy. Instead, listen to a sample of women who have. You'll start to notice a few patterns - you may even think I hand-picked these responses to fit with my theme. Not so - I asked pretty much every Western female friend I have in Taiwan (including Taiwanese/Chinese women born and raised overseas) and these are the responses of those who wanted to contribute. Other than the fact that obviously my friends will fall into the demographic of "older than early 20s" and "people I like and get along with", they're about as close to a random sample as you could ask for.


Enjoy!


"I came to Taiwan married, and am still in Taiwan. As I believe from my first-hand experience that it's easy for western men to find sex here, I found my way to the door of divorce court. And as a newly single American woman in Taipei, I opened myself up to new possibilities.

Over the five years that I've been here, I have been approached several times by random Taiwanese men asking me if they could "be my friend." The first time I naively said yes to Mr. Yikes, thinking, I was married and friends are acceptable. I explained that I was married and living with my husband in Taiwan. This man said it was okay, he was just looking to be friends. Not so! Mr. Yikes proceeded to grow increasingly affectionate over MSN (at the time) and then he began to profess his love and longing for me. Needless to say, I was married, so I stopped using MSN all together! No more "friends" for me."


"After my separation and divorce, I ran into Mr. Handsome, the guy I'm now dating. He worked under my former company. In the beginning, I went back to his company to look for him, but he wasn't working those days. So, I chatted with his friend/boss. We became friends. He was cute and I thought there definitely could have been something more there. But, anyway, I was looking for Mr. Handsome.



Mr. Handsome was finally there one day after I had gone back several times looking for him. He, unlike Mr. Yikes, was much more shy, reserved, and tender. I was the first to make a move. He was busy acting cool or shy, not sure which is was, so I just told him directly that he was indeed Mr. Handsome! He replied in kind, and we hit it off. We exchanged numbers, went on dates, and quickly feel in love and into bed!"


- from a friend in her late 20s/early 30s, American. She, like most of us, realizes it's not necessarily as easy as back home to date, but that no, you're not totally bereft of possibility.



“Dating in your late 40s and early 50s is challenging in most situations, but doing it in another culture, let alone another country, can be either down right hilarious or one of life's greatest disappointments. 

“Take Chinese culture for example, Taiwan specifically, most men in this age group are quite set in their ways and lack the spontaneity and energy I require.  I’m not your mother, cook, maid, personal assistant or spiritual advisor.  

I was recently “spending time” with a guy in his mid-40s, divorced, a 13-year son, owned several properties.  In the beginning, it was a nice experience, easy and relaxing, but after a few months of movies and dinner, I wondered out loud why we didn’t eat near his house.  His response was that his son might see us and be upset. 

Well, you know how that went down, but wait, maybe you don’t. Turns out the kid is very jealous of the father’s time since the divorce of a few years ago. 

Things cooled a bit after this discussion, but revved back up about 3 or 4 weeks later. 

He suggested we might want to take a trip.  Yeah…this is pretty much the equivalent of a sex weekend and I don’t give free samples, but I do love creativity and imagination.  So I declined the weekend, but suggested phone sex instead. Thought he was going to faint.  Out came this little, feeble, old man response of not doing that in his culture. What’s the difference? Really, I mean foreplay is foreplay, come on, get in the game. 

It’s not that I really intended to follow through with this, but just wanted to gauge his willingness. 

I don’t need the fountain of youth, but I do need someone who can keep up with me on my 40km bike rides and is willing to jump the culture divide for some fun and play. 

I’ll keep on looking around, but remain disappointed in how constrained the duality of women’s roles remain in many societies.  You can have a job, but you’ve got to come home, cook, do the laundry, take care of the kids, maintain the house and more.  Watch out world, women are making their own money, have their own apartments and with electricity and imagination, men may become obsolete.”


- from a friend and coworker in her early 50s, American, who was previously married to a Chinese man. 



“I came to Taiwan solely for career reasons. I had lived in Thailand for a year when I was younger and dated a guy there so I certainly find men of all kinds attractive (lucky me!).

When I first got to Taiwan I lived in Hsinchu and ended up dating an international student there briefly who was from St. Lucia. Then, after I moved to Taipei, I dated another international student for a little while from Belize. I should note that, for career reasons, I only ever planned to stay in Taiwan a few years at most and that made me a little shy of getting involved with anyone, especially a Taiwanese guy (not that I saw many opportunities). Most of the time, the interactions I had with Taiwanese men were kind of bizarre and bordering on harassment, but that can be true of dating in any big city.


I met my boyfriend through mutual Taiwanese friends and he was really well-traveled and highly educated which I think did contribute, to some extent, to his open mindset. I think we had some minimal conflicts related to culture, class, and language misunderstandings (Chinese and English) but mostly it was good. He was a wonderful person and very good to me and we had an enjoyable relationship until he went to Guatemala for the Taiwan military service and I came back to the U.S. I guess we just really were able to relate well and our personalities really fit. I do not think I fit American cultural norms and I don't think he fit Taiwanese cultural norms and our personalities were more similar than any of those differences.

I still think it was more difficult to date in Taiwan and maybe I had less of a selection, but that might be "my fault" too in that I felt way more self-conscious and less relaxed in Taiwan. I found, overall, that it was much more difficult to meet people and create friendships in general so, for me, dating was just an extension of that. I also worked in an office full of white men who were terribly misogynistic so that soured some of my day to day thinking about men, lol. Overall, it wasn't that there weren't any opportunities, just that I knew I didn't want to stay permanently. Back in the U.S., I feel much more relaxed and can meet people much more easily.”

- from a friend in her 20s, American, who had an office job here for a few years and has recently moved back to the US. She's absolutely right that it's harder, you have to be more proactive, there isn't as much of a selection etc. but note that in the end she did have a Taiwanese boyfriend after dating a few international students. The pattern holds: it's harder, but not impossible, and "Western women don't like Taiwanese men" isn't nearly as true as people think it is.


“My husband is quite unique and was not the norm at all. I made a huge effort to win over my hubby at the time. There is also the fact that lots of Western women are not attracted to Asians. I was different because physically my husband is not typical in that he is broad and has body and facial hair that I find attracts me to a "guy". And, my husband's family is not traditional and does not influence him so him so he had freedom to date me.

Let's also not forget that it is easy to "hook up" and hard to seriously date. If Western women approached Taiwanese men aggressively there would be lots of success stories. All I can tell you is that if a girl is assertive and takes the lead the guys will follow. It is true that the Asian men are intimidated and probably won't make the first move.”


- from a friend in her 30s, American, who came here to study, came back to visit, and on that visit met the Taiwanese guy she'd later marry.



“I have lots to say about this. My experience is pretty different from what I hear a lot of Western women talk about. Overall, I feel like I get hit on or have guys ask me out in Taiwan on par with or maybe even more than in the U.S.

Just last night, for example, I went to a small local bar I'd never heard of because a Taiwanese female former colleague invited me there to chat. Over the course of a few hours, the Taiwanese bartender started chatting me up, we played the dice game (I'm not sure what it's called but something akin to Bullshit), he asked me if I'm married multiple times, told me I'm beautiful and otherwise flirted with me, walked me out to a cab and stopped just short of trying to kiss me. Another guy, an ABC, who we had barely chatted with, came up and quite directly asked me if I wanted to go home with him. This kind of thing doesn't happen every time I go out, but it's not terribly unusual. This isn't just in bars - I've had students aggressively hit on me in the middle of class, dudes approach me in coffee shops and someone ask me out on the MRT.


I'm not sure what to attribute this to, but I have a few ideas. I think I generally have an attitude of not really giving a fuck, that is to say, I don't put out the vibe that I'm looking for someone. I think that this is pretty attractive to some people. I'm also fairly outgoing in a social situation and will be friendly and shoot the shit with strangers, which I think can put people at ease a bit. I tend to go to more local places, as opposed to places that cater mainly to foreigners, and a lot of people I have met seem really pleased about that and tell me I must be Taiwanese at heart.


One Taiwanese guy I dated told me that a main reason he was attracted to me initially was because I am "manly" (his words). He went on to explain that I don't act super "feminine," meaning that I don't seem obsessed with my appearance, am not submissive and very different from most Taiwanese girls. (These comments could generate another very lengthy discussion entirely).

I'm certainly not the bee's knees, either. I'm 34 (with no husband or kids!), which basically makes me useless to society. I think I'm pretty charming and brilliant, but I'm not a knockout that people would trip and fall gawking at on the street. I've dated 2 Taiwanese guys in the last year and I've had guys ranging from 20's to 50's ask me out and at least 3 local girls ask to make out with me.”

- from a friend in her 30s, American, who has been here for a little over a year. Since she's been here she's dated two local guys and garnered interest from others. Her experience truly is a bit atypical in that she's had more luck than most Western women, but the pattern still holds: Western women do date Taiwanese men, they do like them more than is often assumed, and they do have opportunities. We're not all chaste nuns over here, jealous of Western men swaggering around with women hanging off their arms. In fact, we're not even dating those men for the most part. We're not interested. 


"I've observed this from afar as someone who's been attached entire time living in Taiwan, HK and Indonesia. The general quality of guys who move to Asia compared to the standard of women they believe they can get is something of a contrast. But after five years in Asia I know a few happy expat couples who met here. Yes there are a lot of horrid little men who date Asian girls and believe they must also be a serious catch for Western women. But lets not fight over them, ladies. Quality guys are few and far between. But its also very difficult to identify quality single guys aged 30 to 40 in London.

 Taiwanese men are often lovely, aren't they? Must be the aboriginal mix? Tall and handsome often. Life is a bit harder for Western women in HK.”


- from a British friend in her 30s who has since left

“I was warned before I came here, but did not take it seriously because I thought I would be an exception the rule. Maybe others experiences are different than mine, or maybe the warnings were just not specific enough and not in enough first person voices to convince me that they applied to me too. For instance, I have the impression that Western men outnumber Western women by a large margin. Off the top of my head I can think of 9 Western women I know personally here. Two are married to Westerners, one is in a relationship with a Taiwanese woman, and the rest appear to have been single a long time. Through others, I know of a couple Western women married to Taiwanese men, but not well enough to know their names. If you wanted to look at patterns, age is probably a factor in how things play out too.

Age matters. I have met impressive local men, but they were younger than me and in marriages with small children. There's a definite stigma against older women with younger men that some of the younger men who seemed interested in me could not stand up to. The other issue being the importance of having children to Asian men. So the large number of chronically single western women I know here tend to be in their late 30s and older.

There is a crop of men who become available in their 50s here, after their children have grown up. Some are divorced or some just permanently separated from wives. Many of the divorced guys are not educated, or don't have money. The separated guys I've met are sometimes quite wealthy, but are rather old school and sedate, with or have well established habits in terms of what they expect of a woman. One issue I find with retired men is that they are at a different stage of life from me.


I feel more of an affinity - and probably share more assumptions in common - with specific younger Taiwanese men than I do with older ones, men in their 20s and 30s, but I am nearing 50. "Lao niu chi qing cao," (老牛吃青草) one man in his 30s who flirted with me constantly said, indicating that he did not have the strength of character to stand up to the stigma. Moreover, he did not want to disappoint his mother, who expects grandchildren.


My advice to a young American woman who majored in Chinese and asked me if I am making my life here and what I think about her moving to Taiwan - my advice was to put a time limit on it. If you don't want to teach English and don't find a job doing something else within one or two years, then leave.”


This is from an American friend who is in her 40s (I believe - I've never asked) and hasn't had the same luck, and feels overall her love life her has been a negative experience. She's right that age does matter.


She agrees with a lot of my other friends that there are men you can hook up with, and Western women are generally more interested in dating them than one might think, but it's a lot harder. She's invited male friends over to her apartment - as friends - and had them act really weird about it, or show up and be "nervous", until she realized that they just assumed it was all about sex. It hadn't occurred to them that she had friendship in mind. One, she said, would not cross the threshold from her patio to her apartment out of "respect", and one said he was surprised she'd invited him and he had to gather the courage to come over (indicating he thought more was intended by the invitation).


She's noticed that it's different from China, in that in China men were interested in sleeping with her because they assumed American women were “easy” or out of sheer curiosity and intrigue - whereas here they're more just shy. This doesn't mean they're uninterested, just that they don't have quite as strong assumptions about American women and they don't act on their thoughts. 

In keeping with that, pretty much every Taiwanese male friend I've had has admitted that the idea of a Western girlfriend intrigues him, but he's either already in a relationship or too shy to act on that interest. As she said above, the older men aren't on her wavelength or are already married (although some become available in their 50s following divorces) and the younger one too put off by the stigma of dating an older woman.

She also noted that there seems to be a cultural space for "pink friends" - friends of the opposite sex (or that you have some attraction to if you're bi) with whom there is some chemistry, and to whom the married of the pair of friends can pour out, as to a confidante, all his (usually his) marriage misery. Sometimes those relationships turn sexual, other times not. She's not interested in them, having been through it once. 


* * * 

Looking back on these responses, all I can say is this: sure, stereotypes about Western women in Taiwan exist, mostly negative ones. We're sexless, female incels. We're not attracted to Asian men. We can't compete with 'local women' (oh man that statement is so fraught with racist/sexist stereotypes that I don't know where to begin).

But hear this: Western women in Taiwan have their own stereotypes of the typical male expat here. You know - horrid little misogynists who think they're hot shit because they can get here what they couldn't get in their native countries. Charisma Men.

These stereotypes are not always true - many of my friends are Western men who are super cool guys, whether they are single (which not many are these days, a function of age and my social circle settling down), married or dating and whether their partners are foreign or Taiwanese. But there is a basis for them, and I've met a few Charisma Men as well.

But then, I wouldn't necessarily say it's harder to meet good men here (though admittedly I haven't tried). Not because it's easy, but because it was also hard to meet them in the US. Before I married, I might have had more dates in the US, but that doesn't mean the men were any better or any more worth my romantic time. Most weren't.

I, and most foreign women here, avoid them. We live our own lives, make our own friends, hang out with the cool guys, form local friendships and in some cases relationships, and are basically normal people living normal lives.

So, expat men. If you think we're angry celibate shrews just because we're not dating you, then perhaps you just don't know enough expat women and perhaps you just don't know much about our experiences, because you haven't lived them. 

A Reason Not To Love Taiwan :-(

Sadly, this whole Philippines/fisherman clusterfuck (which became so in no small part due to the incompetence of Ma Ying-jiu and his inability to solve even the tiniest diplomatic crisis) has made me more aware of a few general tendencies in Taiwanese discussion and rhetoric that I don't find particularly appealing.

Without really meaning to I ended up in a discussion about this with my neighbors - ordinarily nice, well-educated people - last night. I wasn't pleased with what I heard. I know it's not uncommon to hear these things, but they go so against what any local friend of mine would say that it's still shocking to hear.

Of course, these things happen everywhere - Taiwan doesn't have a monopoly on racism, groupthink, defensiveness and narrowmindedness. Far from it - I generally say, and truly feel, that Taiwan is one of the more tolerant, openminded countries in Asia, if not the most tolerant and openminded in Asia. I do see these sorts of responses to "sensitive" issues (although for the life of me I don't see why it's so sensitive) in the USA and other countries. It's just that they all tend to take on the same tone and use the same rhetoric in Taiwan, distinguishing it from the tone and rhetoric of the USA or elsewhere. For example, you may hear "American exceptionalism" or some bullshit derivation or elongation ("We're the best country in the world!") of that phrase, but you won't hear "Taiwanese exceptionalism". 

I just happen to live here, so I'm applying this observation to here. I don't mean to imply that it only happens here or that everyone here does it - neither are true (I'll get ugly comments anyway. Oh well).

Mooooommm! He hit me first!

Apparently it's fine for the Taiwanese government to be acting like a petulant child, because they shot our guy, and then their government did some yadda-yadda-yadda so our government is justified in doing yadda-yadda-yadda+1 and anyway they didn't really mean their apology. Sigh. Yeah, that's a great way to solve international diplomatic snafus. It worked in the backseat of your parents' station wagon, why not here? Oh, except it didn't really work and you still hold a grudge against your brother for throwing your toy out the window that one time and not really apologizing.

We're not racist - we're so friendly! We're so nice to you.

Yeah, you're nice to me because I'm white. That's also racist, in case you didn't know, because at times you can be nicer to me than to other Taiwanese people (not all the time, but it happens). You - maybe not you specifically but a lot of people - aren't as nice to Southeast Asians. They're not white. That's racist.

We're not racist - those Southeast Asian people come from undeveloped countries so they are a threat to our economy.

That's even more racist. It's also not true. Perhaps study more Economics?

We're not racist - the Philippines is a more dangerous place, so if Filipinos come here, it will be more dangerous here. But we don't mind that they are here. We're not racist. 

Huh?

Shakes head.

Well, anyway, assuming that any given Filipino or group of Filipinos (or other Southeast Asians) are automatically making Taiwan "more dangerous" is a.) not related to the fisherman issue; and b.) ALSO FUCKING RACIST. If I said "I'm not racist, it's just that minorities commit more crimes, so I have to be more careful around them", I'd be a racist person because assuming someone will do something (good or bad, but in this case bad) based on their race is racist.

Also it sounds like you do mind that they are here, but do realize that that's racist and won't say it.

Nobody's threatening Filipinos or blaming Filipinos in Taiwan.

Yes they are. Read the news.

We're not racist - those guys who beat up some Filipinos don't represent us. They're just some low-class guys. Racism isn't a problem in Taiwan.

I believe you in that those guys who beat up some Filipinos don't represent you. You wouldn't do that, and you are probably perfectly nice to Filipinos you meet in your daily life. But just because you don't do that, and nobody you know would do that doesn't mean it doesn't happen, and that it's not a problem. Also, my pointing it out doesn't mean I'm implying that you're such a person.

I mean, I'm a New Yorker. I would loooooooove to say that the bigoted beliefs and ignorant statements I hear trumpeted by other Americans, too numerous to even get into here, don't "represent America", because they don't represent me. It's true that they don't represent me, but they are a part of American public discourse and therefore do in some way represent a part of America. I'd love to pretend that America is an accepting, women-minority-non-Christian-and-LGBT-friendly country, but I can't just ignore the other side because I don't like it.

And you can't just ignore this as the actions of a few low-class people. They are Taiwanese too. This is a problem in your country.

OK, some people are racist, but people are racist everywhere. China's more racist.

Both technically true, but it sure sounds like you're hiding behind an excuse there, tryin' to save a little face. I don't blame you, but just because racism exists elsewhere and is worse in other places is also not an excuse to ignore it in your own country.

Ma Ying-jiu handled this badly, true, but he's a nice guy, not corrupt like Chen Shui-bian.

Yes he is. Whole damn KMT's fucked up.

But their government is worse than our government!

It is true that the government in the Philippines is racked with problems. But again, that is not a reason to excuse your government. It's just not a good defense.

In fact, because Taiwan can legitimately claim to be a First World country, you'd think there'd be more pressure for the government to put on their Grown-Up Pants and act like freakin' adults. Instead, your government is acting in exactly the sort of undignified way that it most seeks to avoid with all this posturing.

It's not a good idea to discuss these issues, because someone might feel bad or lose face. Don't make waves.

Oh just fuck right off*. Crazy white lady be crazy, and Crazy white lady intends to not only have her freedom of speech, but use it. You're free to walk away. Not making waves is big here, but I'm not from here and I like waves. 

*I did not actually say this. I just thought it. I can't help getting into political discussions - perhaps I should move to southern Taiwan where that's more accepted - but I'm not that rude.

I hate the whole country, oh, but I don't hate the regular people, but I HATE THE WHOLE COUNTRY.

Uh, that doesn't even make sense. You can't hate the whole country if you don't hate everyone in it, and you can't hate everyone in it, because you haven't met them (you could think you do, I suppose, if you were racist, but you insist you're not).

Also a problem when talking about Korea. It's like everyone "hates Korea", but not the people, and not the ones they know, and some singers, dramas or food is OK, really it's just some sports teams/athletes and a few large corporations like Samsung. "OK so I don't really hate Korea. But I hate Korea!"

Americans certainly do this too - many tend to make blanket statements like that about Americans from another area (does everybody hate everybody), Muslims, people of other religions (or for some of the angrier atheists, people with any religion at all), certain subgroups of women...I'm noting it in Taiwan because I live here, but it's not unique to here.

But we are Chinese, this is our culture, or something.

Oh whatever. Can we stop with the blaming of negative tendencies on "culture" and start seeing it as something that can be changed? Because it can be changed. Plenty of your compatriots realize that. 

So you think Taiwan is acting badly in this? YOU MUST HATE TAIWAN!

I don't hate Taiwan. In fact, I love it here. I wouldn't criticize it if I didn't love it, I'd just leave. The fact that I've been here for seven years shows how much I love it. It's possible to love something and criticize it at the same time. It's possible to point to some people acting badly and note that that's a problem for the country without accusing everyone of acting badly. You see,

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

...try it sometime.

Love ya.

No, seriously Taiwan. Love ya.

But come on. You can do better.