Real People

My husband posted a fantastic rant on his blog about political discourse that you should all go and read.

And it's exactly right - I get really pissed off at people who think that things like not having access to health care, marriage or reproductive choice either doesn't truly affect others, or shouldn't truly affect others, or that "others" aren't real because they aren't the person commenting themselves and have different lives, experiences and issues.

To me, it's like saying "you said your mom has cancer and came very close to facing a situation in which she was uninsured through pure misfortune...but whatever, I don't care that your family might not have been able to afford to treat your mother's cancer had things gone even slightly differently, because allowing for the idea that she and everyone else should have access to basic health care that they can afford violates my worldview, and my worldview is more important than your mother, because to me she's not a real person."

These issues are very real to me, as someone who has contraception sensitivities, a mother who came very close to having cancer and no insurance, who has gay friends who want to get married, friends who have been unable to afford the best medical care and friends who might need abortions, friends who are victims of rape (well, one friend I know of and probably others I don't, because I don't pry into private lives that way), friends who have made something of themselves after getting a leg up. I've been lucky, personally, but these issues are very real to me...and I have no patience - none - for people who would rather preserve their views as political abstractions than look at real life.

And little patience - although I am learning some tolerance - for people who vote for those whose platforms would harm those real people, even if they don't agree with them. I have little and less patience for complicity. I only barely tolerate it because otherwise I'd have to think that slightly less than half the electorate are all terrible people, and that's no way to live.

Also, on a somewhat tangential note, this:

Why Romney Never Saw It Coming


Basically, Jon Stewart was right when he said to Nate Silver that what scared him most about a Republican victory wouldn't have been Republicans in power (although as a woman that too is pretty scary to me), but that it would have meant a victory over arithmetic, and that's just horrifying. How could we trust someone with the economy (or anything else) if they defied basic math? This 
quote says it all: 

"The Obama team would shower you with a flurry of data—specific, measurable, and they’d show you the way they did the math. Any request for written proof was immediately filled. They knew their brief so well you could imagine Romney hiring them to work at Bain. The Romney team, by contrast, was much more gauzy, reluctant to share numbers, and relying on talking points rather than data. This could have been a difference in approach, but it suggested a lack of rigor in the Romney camp." 

- and this is why I am totally OK, happy even, with Obama back in office. I know some folks think he's *too* conservative and has played politics rather than upending the establishment, but at least I have faith that they're doing the math, going by numbers, and making decisions based on data rather than "I think so, so it's true, and all my rich white friends agree."

At some point I'll shut up about American politics and get back to Taiwan, but not quite yet.

No Really, The GOP Can Go Die

Not Taiwan related, but whatever.

My assessment of why the Republicans lost so bad in the election boils down to this: not only did they lie, but they kept telling people what their lives should be like, what their options should be, how things should work out for them, rather than listening to what people were saying about how their lives actually are. People, who don't like to be told what their lives are like despite their own experience, who don't like to be condescended or mansplained to, called 'em on it and didn't vote for them.

Let me give an example of this sort of attitude. In a comment on an article in a well-known online magazine, I gave a few facts about myself (while trying to stay anonymous). I won't copy the comment itself, but here are the basics:

- That I am a married woman who doesn't want kids, and therefore access to my reproductive rights is important to me, not something I am "not concerned about" or "isn't a part of my life" according to conservative pundits.

- That for me and many other women, control over when and how many children to have is an economic issue, it's not a belief voted on over other more pressing economic issues. Children are expensive to deliver and raise and being concerned about this absolutely boils down to economics (not for us - we could afford a child - that's not our reason, but it's the reason for many).

- That I may be fairly well-off now, but there was a time when I earned in the low 20s and lived in an expensive part of the country. I couldn't get a more affordable apartment farther from the city as I couldn't afford the car I'd need to do so. I lived a mile from the nearest metro station as it was (albeit in a pretty nice rented townhouse with roommates). I definitely felt an economic impact - I had to budget very carefully to get by in that city, even as an income in the low 20s would have been better in other areas.

- That as a result, in my early-to-mid 20s I couldn't access or afford oral birth control. I couldn't take over the counter meds that were sold at affordable prices because I happen to be very sensitive to contraceptive side effects (more information than you really need about me, but it's important as many women have this issue). I had insurance but the co-pays were so high that on my low-ish income I couldn't afford pills even with coverage. I budgeted for the necessities - food, one phone (cell only, no landline), Internet, housing, transport, a bit for other expenditures such as clothing, emergencies, visits home, and very little left over for fun. There was no room in my budget for that. Now, imagine a woman who has no insurance or whose insurance doesn't cover contraceptives - they'd be in even more dire straits. Clinics (like Planned Parenthood) were difficult for me, as I couldn't easily get time off during business hours, I worked in the suburbs and had to take a bus (meaning no lunch hour visits), I'd get home after evening hours were done, and so the only time I could go was Saturdays. The only clinic with Saturday hours was in a very bad area - one that a white woman wouldn't want to walk in alone (I don't say this to be racist - I say it as a matter of fact. Pizza delivery wouldn't even deliver there. It was not safe). I wasn't poor but I was just getting by, as were many people I knew, and there was no room in our budgets for such things.

- That abortion is basically inaccessible to many women, even with Roe v. Wade in effect. Some states have done a remarkable job of removing visits to Planned Parenthood or getting abortions as an option for women in their state. Looking at Missouri (not where I lived, but relevant), abortion is not accessible to women who can't get time off work to travel to one of the six clinics in the state, who can't afford to travel to one (and Missouri is a big state, most women live some traveling distance from one), who can't afford the hotel or time off for the 24-hour waiting period, for women who can't afford an abortion but who were not impregnated due to rape or incest, and their life is not in danger, and to minors whose parents don't consent. Missouri is not a wealthy state - that makes abortion inaccessible to many, if not most, women in that state. Roe v. Wade and its remaning the law of the land is irrelevant when it comes to these real-life issues.

- That I moved abroad not only because I wanted to learn another language and immerse myself in another culture, but because I had better career opportunities abroad, and finally, for better health insurance because America's current "system" SUCKS. It sucks for anyone with a pre-existing condition, for anyone who can't afford their premiums, their copays or their deductibles but also can't afford a better plan, for anyone who is unemployed or has a job that doesn't offer benefits, for someone who needs coverage and has a pre-existing condition but wants to start their own business or go freelance and can't afford it while maintaining insurance. That as much as Americans crow about how foreigners come to America for care, people from Taiwan who live in America often come back to Taiwan for similarly high-quality but affordable care, and you don't hear a lot of expats complaining or returning to America for care. I've never heard one.

And what I got told was that none of this was true: that if I didn't want to go to a known dangerous neighborhood then I was clearly racist, that I could go on my lunch hour to a "nearby" clinic, that I couldn't possibly have moved abroad in part because I wanted socialized health insurance, that I could have bought cheap OTC birth control at Wal-Mart (there was no Wal-Mart near me, thankfully, but I took his meaning to be 'a pharmacy'), that I was lying about how difficult/impossible it was to go to a clinic, that my story of "bad side effects" from OTC birth control was a "lie", and that America clearly has the best health care in the world, and that abortion was a non-issue because "we have Roe v. Wade" so, basically, quit yer whinin'.

That right there is what I mean - this commenter was telling me what my life was like - despite not living my life, and not even knowing me. He was telling me what my options should be, what my choices are, what I could do, rather than listening to me when I told him what my life was actually like, and listening to the statistics on how accessible abortion really is to women across the country, despite Roe v. Wade. It was condescending, it was mansplaining (the commenter was male and thought he knew better than me what my own experience was), it was holier-than-thou, and it was not listening.

And this is why the Republicans lost - because their entire party line has become like that. They keep telling people what their lives are like, and don't listen to what people are saying about what their lives are actually like.

They tell women what their options are, rather than listening to women talk about their options.

They say that equal pay is not an issue when it clearly is.

They tell minorities what their experience is, rather than listening to women talk about their experience.

They spew "facts" about immigration rather than listening to those who have immigrated or want to immigrate. (Fortunately this seems poised to change).

They reduce the entirety of the American lower classes to "moochers" and "takers" without listening to what the lower classes say they do and what they need. They refuse to hear that many poor people work hard and need a leg up to no longer be poor, and characterize them instead as "not taking personal responsibility". You ever been poor and tried to not be poor? Yeah, NOT SO EASY, is it?

They talk about how much the haves are subsidizing the have-nots without listening to the facts of how much the haves really are paying for.

They tell the LGBT community that they're "not homophobic" while ignoring the needs of the LGBT community and pushing clearly homophobic platforms, prioritizing their religion and shitty "morals" (I spit on those morals) over what people actually want and need.

They tell those who are sick what their health care options should be rather than what they are ("you can just go to the emergency room" - great, but that doesn't work if your problem is cancer and is not immediate or acute. You can't get ER treatment for cancer, psychiatric issues or diabetes or any other number of diseases).

They tell the middle class that they'll get jobs only if they give breaks to "job creators" without listening to what the middle class actually needs (infrastructure, affordable education and job training, affordable housing and childcare options), and ignoring the fact that trickle-down economics just plain does not work. Ignoring clear statistics - if you give a person in need money, that money generates more for the economy. If you give a wealthy person money, they tend to squirrel it away or invest it in ways that benefit them, but not others, and generate a net loss for the economy.

They tell those affected by climate change that it's more important to prop up Big Oil than to acknowledge climate change, and then try to pretend climate change away. "No, you didn't get hit by a natural disaster or have your crops ruined, or can't afford rising food costs due to climate change, now shut up and vote for me".

They tell the poor that they shouldn't want "things and stuff", and should ignore the fact that there are those who have far more "things and stuff" than they need and are pushing policies that make it harder for others to get the same things...and stuff. But wait - why shouldn't I want things and stuff? You have things and stuff because the balance of power is in your favor. Why should I find that fair?

They tell teens and parents of teens what their attitudes should be - "just don't have sex, wait 'till you're married", as though that has ever worked in the history of ever - rather than acknowledging the need for sex ed based on what is.

And that's why they only won one segment of the population. One that I daresay is easily duped, or for whom the message is carefully calibrated. And if people are upset that women and minorities are sick of being condescended to, then that's their problem - and if they want to say that in the most racist terms possible

The rest of us are sick and fucking tired of being told what our lives are like, and would like people in power to instead listen to us to find out what our lives are actually like.

And until the GOP understands this and stops with their condescension and unfair characterizations, and wrong assumptions about people they don't understand, they're just not going to win among anyone other than non-urban white males. We're sick of it. Get with the times or get lost.

Election

All I can say is THANK LORD JEEBUS THAT THAT CREEPY ROBOT THING WHO WANTS TO PREACH AT ME LOST, because I was scared there for a minute.

I am elated that America reaffirmed its commitment to progressivism. When Taiwanese friends say "but isn't America more liberal", I no longer have to hesitate and say "kinda...but in some ways not really". I mean I'll still say that but it'll be a more positive thing.

I'm happy we as a people seem pretty clear that progressivism is right for a reason - because it's about progress, and that the way forward is not back. I'm happy that the American public has decided they're done with hate and bigotry, and outdated notions of what "values" and "morals" should be. That they support, generally women's equality (in law and in society) and marriage equality, although the battles here are not won. That we're all sick of being preached at and told how to live, and that our "family values" are the new family values, and you can get used to it or take a hike. That we've been pretty clear in our voting choices that those who want to hold us back aren't in the mainstream and don't have the public mandate, and that maybe we can have real conversations about the economy and foreign policy if we could all just agree on inclusiveness and tolerance in the social sphere...and that the people who need to really just shut up are the targeters, not the targeted.

(Well, not "shut up" as in "stop talking"- we're all entitled to free speech, but I mean shut up as in stop assuming that you can say hateful things and that the populace will back you - shut up as in start thinking about why maybe your views are unpopular).

I'm happy we seem to more or less agree as a country that women are people too, that LGBT people are people too, that it's not OK for a politician or a church to decide what *is* and *is not* appropriate health care and insurance coverage for women's health, what people can do with their bodies, and that we'd rather help people who need a leg up rather than, I dunno, banish them and give all the spoils to the wealthy. That no matter how much the wealthy pour into an election, we will decide and we won't necessarily hand the reins to them.

I'd like the flying death robots to stop (are they really necessary?) and I'd like to see more social changes: guaranteed paid maternity leave (and paternity leave), real sex ed and real - not watered down - science in schools, subsidized child care for working families, better public transportation, true universal health insurance coverage, true sustainable R&D in better community planning and (eventual) green energy, promotion of better business culture (unionization, 8 hour work weeks, flextime when possible), affordable education for all (and I don't mean available but crushing loans) and a foreign policy that is more about strong, quiet guidance than, well, flying death robots.

I still don't tolerate intolerance. I still don't respect homophobia. I still feel that if you vote for people who want to institute gay marriage bans, you personally may not be homophobic, but you're complicit in voting homophobic platforms into power. If you vote for people who are against women's equal pay and reproductive rights, you may not be sexist yourself but you're complicit in voting sexist platforms into power, and I still have very little respect for that. I'm still not interested in "let's hear both sides" when it comes to these social issues - it's like asking for a straight-up bully's side of things in middle school mediation after a fight. I don't care what the bully thinks about what happened. Considering such views seriously gives them credence, and they deserve none - just as segregation deserved none, and anti-women's suffrage deserved none.

But anyway. For now I'm happy.

I've also got bronchial pneumonia which is why I haven't been posting a lot, and I toasted the Obama win with Chinese herbal medicine rather than beer or whiskey. I know, poor me.

洋鬼子 (Foreign Devil) and NEW YORK PRIDE, BITCHES!

Just thought I'd show off the "costume" I actually wore on Halloween (which was a work day) - I'm a Foreign Devil!

Also, this is post #666. So that's appropriate.

By the way - this is how New Yorkers respond to a crisis.  Also, this. Yeah, I agree with the cutout of that fat guy. F*** you, Sandy! Also, as per the Post-It, I'm also happy George Bush isn't President anymore. For this and other reasons. If anyone was wondering - if anyone reading this beyond real life friends even knew that I was a native New Yorker (state, not city) - my friends and family are fine. Parents don't have power, but they're getting by, friends are generally doing OK although things are rough right now.

In related NEW YORK PRIDE! news -

Along the lines of this clip (at about 6:30m) not long ago I managed to shock my husband for the first time in years. It's not like he doesn't know I'm a New Yorker - the first time he visited New York City it was with me. I speak pretty standard American English, though, with traces of a New York accent coming through only in very select words, and only very lightly ("water" is one such word). Friends not from those parts have told me that my accent thickens when I am in the city/tri-state area.

I guess Brendan, with his complete lack of a Maine accent and inability to imitate one, just wasn't aware that while I don't have the New York/Long Island/New Jersey amalgamation of accent-tacular accentiness, I can imitate it.

And the other day, I did.

I said something along the lines of:


"Yo, come down to Luigi&Schlomo's Secondhand Mattress Discounter and Pawn Shop. We got the mattress for you. Exit 18 off San

dusky Parkway in Poohackus. / Barbara. BARBARA! I'm talkin' to you! Don't you see me talkin' to your face? Where is the KFC Barbara? You didn't get the KFC! What are the kids gonna eat for breakfast! Goddamnit Barbara! OK OK, I'll do your commercial. OK. Where's the microphone? Mikey, will you SHUTTUP? JESUS! OK. I need some water. Thanks. Here we go. 'Vote for Al or Paulie gets it. PAID FOR BY FRIENDS OF SENATOR AL D'AMATO.'How's that? OK. BARBARA!!"

Which, you know, totally rude and stereotypical, except I'm from there so I figure it's OK. Just like how I'm part Polish so I'm allowed to think "Polack Swamp" is a funny name, but you're not.

I pulled the accent together from radio and local TV commercials I heard growing up, including ones for Al D'Amato's re-election campaigns, Kyle's mom on South Park, a pinch of my Grandma (maternal, not paternal), and my friend's mother from Syosset. 

Brendan: O_O

"You sound like the people on TV. Only TV people have that accent!"

Oh no, sweetie.

Oh...no no no.

All that is to say, as one of you, I'm pullin' for ya, New York. In my own "yo, one twist of fate and I could've grown up talkin' like that" way. You too, Jersey, even though most New Yorkers don't even want to believe you're a real place. They think we upstaters are bumpkins, too, don't listen to them.

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Coffee Shirts and Updated Post

First, go to 7-11 right now and buy one of these shirts made of coffee. They are BRILLIANT. I bought one for kicks ("You'll never guess what my shirt's made of!") and it is easily the most comfortable thing I own, looks good, doesn't attract too much cat hair, and best of all, Tencel isn't lying when they say it wicks moisture. I mean, you can still sweat in it, but you'll get far less of that damp, humid "it's Taiwan, man" feeling around your underarms, underboob and elbows when it's just a bit warm. It totally wicks that away and keeps you dry. For the first time in weeks I woke up in the morning and didn't feel all greasy and sweaty! In the cold snap I never really felt chilly! Plus they're marketed as undershirts but you could totally get away with wearing them as a regular shirt if you're female (if you're male, maybe not so much). Or at least I can, I'm not exactly a fashion maven.

Anyway. You HAVE to get one of these. I am gonna go buy out my entire local 7-11 just in case they discontinue them.

In other news I updated my Boat Burning post with lots of text that explains what happens and where to be at what time when they burn the boat (next festival is in 2015). Go have a look!

The Boat. The Boat. The Boat is ON FIRE

I apologize for not having written my boat burning post sooner. That day of staying up all night segued into a high-powered presentation seminar, and I didn't really have a chance to recover until late last week. Then I got sick - I'm still fighting it, so here's hoping I'm fine by tomorrow. Just a bad cold/mild flu, you know, the usual "I feel like crap" crap.

I also started on Christmas gifts - handmade, this year, mostly - and applied for my open work permit with my shiny new APRC, so I've been busy.

I've actually got to head to class now, so here are the photos, and I'll fill it in with text and put them in order later tonight, so stop back in!

Updated:

Sorry I took so long to update this post - that "mild flu" I had earlier in the week, while it didn't get worse, per se, also didn't get better and knocked me out for the better part of the week, even though my courseload was relatively light. I just didn't have the energy to jump back in and finish this post.

I still feel like crap but have decided I'm just going to go ahead and get it done already. So, here's everything you ever wanted to know about the grand BURN-TACULAR finale of King Boat.

First, this whole shebang is not just for one god - although there is one major/most important deity (well, more of a spirit than a deity, he's not a 神(god), he's a 王爺 (god-like spirit people pray to for protection, generally much more fickle than gods, often can even be downright bad guys, generally based on real people who died, and whose ghosts, when prayed to, have seemed to provide good fortune). His name is Qian Sui Ye (千歲爺) or Thousand Years Grandfather, and he died, so it's told, on a boat that caught fire out to sea.

The King Boat is built mostly for him, but his ship had a crew, and when the spirit mediums converge on the beach at Donggang to bring him in from the sea, they're also bringing in the other crew members along with plenty of other local spirits, gods and ghosts. The whole lot of 'em then tour the Donggang countryside for a week, bringing their blessing for a prosperous three years to come. People set off fireworks as they go by - as people are wont to do in Taiwan. People also buy ghost money - both gold for gods and silver for ghosts, and make wishes on wooden plaques:

I blurred out my address and birthday - but there's one small mistake in my Chinese that wasn't due to purposely blurring. Can you find it?

These plaques are for personal wishes - most are for marriage, passing tests, good jobs, children, health, nice houses and cars and general happiness. Mine was a little more political, but few in Donggang would mind such a sentiment. Qian Sui Ye was a Fujianese figure, not a Taiwanese one, as far as I can tell (correct me if I'm wrong, oh experts), so I am not sure he'll be so sympathetic to my plea. Hence the "thank you". Even pirates - Qian Sui Ye was a pirate - probably appreciate a little courtesy.

However, the general wish of the populace for the festival as a whole is prosperity for the town and its rural outlying areas: specifically in the fishing trade. Specifically, the endangered, overfished local delicacy - bluefin tuna. That golden gate didn't build itself: tuna money built it.

People make donations and add ghost money to the King Boat pile on their own, before it gets stacked around the boat - this is how the temple and the hosting family recoup their costs (also, at the parade, lots of donation baskets). The NT$100 for each wish plaque doesn't hurt either.

The King Boat is built over the course of several months leading up to the festival, and housed in a building in front of the temple (to the left as you enter through the golden gate). There need to be "guards" to protect it, who wear traditional hats: these guards have drums (one was photographed above) and they cannot be women - because Chinese culture is totally sexist in many ways.

A lot of things down here are more traditional than up north. Every temple in the visiting parade has a spirit medium to represent their god, not just an idol, and every temple visited has one, too. The two mediums, while possessed, communicate as the two deities or spirits. The temple folks wear traditional hat and costume far more often. The dance-like steps at the parades are more elaborate. The whole thing is imbued with traditions mostly ignored in the Taipei area.

The day before the boat burns, they take it out of it's storage facility and put it on display in Donglong Temple's grand courtyard. You can see how crowded it gets, and beyond that you can see the golden gate of Donglong Temple.

In the same spot the week before was the firewalking ceremony - three years ago women were allowed to participate. This year they were not. No reason: it's true that often public/group firewalking is restricted to men, but that's mostly changed. The difference this year was that the host family was the Geng family (耿), who are apparently far more traditional than last year's hosting family.

You can tell who hosts by the little circular plaque on the boat - it's hard to see in this image, but if you look at that circle closely, it bears the Geng family name. 

The families chosen are large, important local families with ties to the temple (as is true with the hosting families of all major festivals: Keelung's Ghost Month festivities have a similar family lot-drawing process). The family pays for everything while the temple helps coordinate and organize, and together they put the whole thing on. The family that will host the 2015 King Boat was decided right after this King Boat finished. I don't know who it'll be, but whoever it is, they already know.

One student told me that to find out the details of these festivals, the county or town government can help but will more often than not give you the temple's phone number (which is what Donggang did to me). The temple will probably know, but if they don't, they will send you along to the patriarch (possibly matriarch) of the hosting family - so you could find yourself calling to ask about a local festival and talking to Old Mr. Chen, some random local guy who happens to represent that year's hosting family.

I think that's kinda cool - I don't see it going down that way in the USA. At least not where I'm from. "Cantine Field administrative office speaking. Mmm hmm. Yeah, we don't know what time the fireworks will start, why don't you call Linda Smith, her family donated the money for most of the fireworks, her number is..." - not likely.

Then, at midnight on the designated day, they start to throw fortune blocks to ask the god when the boat can be transported to the beach. The day chosen for this is theoretically based on the lunar calendar, but this is such a big deal for Donggang that they tend to massage it a bit so it always happens on a weekend night. It's their big night for tourism after all. 

In theory it could take forever to get the boat down there, or it could happen immediately. In practice, the boat usually starts making its way down between 1 and 2am - in 2009 it was on the late side, in 2012 it was on the early side. It crosses the bridge on the main road to the beach at about 2am, generally. Grab a seat - a small foldable camping chair is a GREAT idea and you should definitely bring one - and wait for the boat to come by. A small parade of dragon dancers, lion dancers and a performer in full makeup in a sedan chair representing the god generally precede it.

Then, make your way to the beach. It's worth it to get as close to the boat as possible - if you can't, though, don't fret (and if you just can't handle the crowd and want to go off somewhere to rest, you'll be able to get back to the boat, don't worry - it just won't be immediately). Hanging around by the front or back of the piles of ghost money is your best bet. Once they start piling those around the boat more room opens up and you can worm your way closer. DO NOT climb or sit on the ghost money - locals will do it, but it is considered extremely rude.

If you are going with friends, HOLD HANDS until you are on the beach. The crowd is massive and there's a bottleneck - you WILL get separated otherwise. We did.

Don't fret that masses of people made it there before you - this thing burns big, and you'll get a good view. Trust me.

Idols in LED-covered sedan chairs then tend to block the entrance to the beach. You can get around them, but it's best to just stay on the beach. Try not to have to go to the bathroom. If you do, try asking around on the road to the beach for a toilet. Go before you hit the beach - trust me.

What happens then is that some temple officials bring some possessed rods (they are possessed, as are the rods, from what I understood) to the boat - I couldn't figure out what they were for, but there's a lot of grunting and screaming as they're hauled, arms shaking as though they're trying to hold it with an angry spirit inside - up to the boat. I suspect they are the rods that hold the three masts in place, but am not sure.

Then, when the fortune blocks give the go-ahead, ghost money is piled around the boat in a wave formation - this is done by passing bags and piles of it to the boat to be set up by temple officials. 

Although women are generally allowed to touch ghost money, they're not supposed to if they're menstruating (ah, sexism in traditional cultures). The Geng family decided no women should touch the money at all, as they'd have no way of knowing who was menstruating and who wasn't. I don't recall this being a rule last time, or maybe I just didn't pick up on it.

The gods gave them very little time to get the money in place, so all the men on the beach were asked to help (NO DIRTY WOMENZ!) For anyone who thinks Taiwanese men are weaklings (racism - sigh), they hauled huge garbage bags of paper and wood and giant stacks of money to the boat for at least a few hours, with little to no break. I wouldn't say that's the sign of a weakling. 

In the rush, lots of it was dropped - here you can see the men then picking it up to send over to the boat.

During and after that, they announce how much was given to the gods (it's always a "GREAT YEAR!" but apparently this year really was great - what with the economy and overfishing of bluefin tuna, I guess the people of Donggang needed all the help they could get. The announcements are all in Taiwanese - they don't deign to change to Mandarin for foreigners (which includes people from Taipei)  but are general welcome messages, accounts of how much was donated, that sort of thing.

Then, the god gives the go-ahead at about 4:30 in the morning, maybe 5, and there's a ceremony on the boat. A suona (that reedy oboe-like instrument that large groups of old people play during temple parades) is played and the life-size anchors on either end of the boat are lifted, to represent Qian Sui Ye and the other gods returning to the sea - but this time with their bounty of ghost money to ensure that they'll be good to the locals for the next three years.

A little while after that, fireworks are draped all around the money (not on the boat itself as far as I could tell) and lit with blowtorches.

Three years ago temple guys kept us well away from the popping firecrackers - the Geng family didn't. Super-traditional - our only defense was our own sense of caution. This proved to be enough - nobody wants to be too close to thousands of firecrackers going off and setting a ten-foot-high mount of money and offerings aflame.

In theory this could start anytime - in practice, it always happens between 5 and 5:30am, and the main part of the burning happens just at sunrise. It's quite poetic, really, the boat going up in flames as the sun tilts its head above the horizon, as Qian Sui Ye symbolically sails back out to sea on his burning vessel.

Most people leave not long after - I try to stay until all three masts have fallen. This year it took longer and we stayed until about 7am, when all but one mast had collapsed. The crowd thins as the skies get lighter, generally.

I took tons of photos with different filters:

It really is something of a transformative experience - you get super tired, jostled by people, sweaty and sandy, totally ready to collapse, and then as morning comes you're blinded by a great ball of fire, representing the amalgamated folk beliefs of an entire region, all their hopes, all their worries for the coming year, sent off on a fiery sea - it's like a kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve, with the promise of new chances and new discoveries. It's something right in front of your face that is connected, cycle after cycle, through the depths of history.

And some other poetic crap.

It's more fun to watch things burn, so let's do that:

The boat itself is a real boat, as in, I do believe it could set sail (it's obviously not a modern design, however). It's built out of a fragrant wood - the whole beach smells of sweet, smoky wood as it burns - but I don't know which kind.

Generally speaking, it continues all through the day and well into the next night, if not the second day after that.

This is the "I Love Taiwan" guy. You know who I mean.

Afterwards, we stumbled back to our hotel, took showers and slept until about 2pm. Then we got up, washed up again briefly, and went out to eat (there was an excellent Vietnamese place near our hotel with nourishing food). We felt almost jetlagged, and very lazily wandered Donggang until the sun set again.

I have said before and maintain my belief: Taiwan may have many ugly buildings, but Taiwan is not ugly. Plenty of its architecture is interesting, lovely, quirky, attractive, worth a second look. Donggang, being a fairly wealthy little town with a compact town center (be prepared to walk a lot, but things aren't that far apart), has a fair number of these interesting little gems:

And a large-breasted cow:

She's advertising milk powder.

We returned to Donglong Temple at dusk:

It was still active - we were tired, so we rested a bit, didn't really exert ourselves too much.

At Donglong Temple, we picked up some lucky rice - limit of 6 per person. You actually empty these into your regular rice, cook them and eat them with dinner to ingest the good luck.

They're emblazoned with good luck sayings and the name of Qian Sui Ye.

We also saw this fat dog.

Anyone who says Taiwa is straight-up ugly hasn't looked closely enough.

Then we headed back to the beach to see the fire blaze on.

We ran into a spirit medium for Ji Gong (濟公) who was not possessed: he was taking photos of the blaze, in fact.

He took a liking to us, and let us wear his costume!

See?!

I make a better Ji Gong than Brendan. I think. I've got the eccentricity and gregariousness to pull it off.

Then we walked slowly to Donutes, Donggang's only Taipei-style coffeeshop (it's like an Ikari mixed with a Cafe 85 plus gelato). They're all over Taiwan, just not Taipei, and offer an indoor seating space - the only coffee/cake shop in Donggang to do that.

Some helpful info:

Transport: Kaohsiung Bus Company (高雄客運) from Kaohsiung Main Station (from the only MRT exit, turn left and it's down the side road on the left. Buses every 20 minutes, takes about 1 hour. Last bus at 10:30pm or so.

Bus drops you off near Guangfu Road in Donggang - get off the bus, walk straight ahead until the Cafe 85 and then turn right. That's Zhongshan, the main thoroughfare of Donggang. If you hadn't turned you'd eventually have come upon Donglong Temple on your left.

Many hotels partner with a van service that can pick you up at the door of your hotel once an hour (when in that hour depends on the hotel) to head back to Kaohsiung - inquire about this and you won't have to walk to the bus stop (where you got dropped off, across the street by the 7-11).

A taxi from Kaohsiung Airport will cost about NT$700. The buses do stop at the airport.

Hotels: Always book in advance because you're not going to get a room that night if you show up without a reservation.

Donggang doesn't have many downtown hotels - we stayed at the Dai Que Hotel (代卻大旅社) which is serviceable and clean, but very, very basic. NT$700/night for a double, $1200-$1500 for a 4-person room (2 double beds). TV, air conditioning, drinking water, toiletries, private bathroom included but it's NOT fancy. Bring your own towel. Trust me. Run by a gaggle of obasans - one will break your knuckles, one has teeth destroyed by betel nut and one dresses like a hooker despite being in her 60s and will talk your ear off in Taiwanese (she's my favorite). It's central - close to the beach, harbor and temple.

Dapeng Bay Hotel (大鵬灣大飯店) - nicer, but far more expensive option on Zhongshan Road.

Near Dai Que Hotel in the lanes around Bo'ai street we came across a few more homestays that I can't find information for.

Food and Coffee: You can eat at the night-market like area around the temple or the beach, but my recommendation if you are not a vegetarian is to go to Huaqiao Harbor, which will be in all the guidebooks. My top pick restaurant is Yu Nong (魚農), the first restaurant on the right after the bathrooms once past the main harbor gate. The "you buy we cook" places before the gate are also good.  Try the fried tuna belly, the fish balls, the other local specialty - cherry blossom shrimp rice (櫻花炒飯). Or keep going past the first clutch of restaurants to the BBQ guy with a truck - get the oysters (NT$100 a portion), the handmade tempura sticks, or the snails.

Donutes, Donggang's only real coffeeshop, is at the far end of Zhongshan Road, just south of Bo'ai Street (about as far from the bus stop/Donglong Temple as you can get, but in Donggang that's not very far), near the bridge at the other end of town. 24-hours a day and has all the caffeine options a hardened Taipei'ite will need to weather a few days outside the city. It's very close to Dai Que Hotel, another bonus.

What to bring:

- insect repellent
- money (plenty of ATMs in Donggang, none by the beach)
- a small folding chair that you can easily carry
- a small towel to wipe off sweat
- water - try to drink it slowly so you never have to pee, because, uh, good luck with that if you do
- wet wipes (trust me - you'll feel so grungy, these will be so welcome)
- either some alcohol if you want to daze around pleasantly buzzed, or some Red Bull if you want to stay awake
- extra camera batteries
- Panadol/ibuprofen/Tiger Balm (the crowd gives some people headaches or you might get stuck next to Mr. Stinky)
- a few snacks
- sandals you can stand in for awhile (you won't want to get sand in trainers or boots)
- good walking shoes (Donggang doesn't have buses, but it's very compact. You'll walk a lot).

Happy Halloween!

Happy weekend before Halloween everyone.

On Wednesday I'm planning to wear devil horn barrettes and go around as a Foreign Devil (洋鬼子), but just for fun I made this mask from materials bought at Shengli General Goods Store (Heping/Fuxing intersection - love that place. They sell everything!). And, for now, I'm a 夜貓族 or "night cat" - the Chinese way of referring to a night owl.

Here's another cat for ya:

My stupid baby

天龍國

Everyone wants to move from the right to the left.
I started out on the right, and am not sure how I feel about having made the jump to the left.

I've been trying to formulate my thoughts on the wealth gap in Taiwan for some time now, and while I have many opinions, they're all just sort of swirling around incoherently at the moment - at least in English.

Then, I blurted my thoughts out in Chinese on Facebook the other day, and it's probably the clearest thing I've said on the subject, and best captures my feelings. So I'll just use that.

我來台灣時就住在右邊，真的沒有錢，跟其他的在補習班教小朋友的老外一樣，老闆控制我的簽證。六年後，我是永久居留，比較有錢，人生不錯，資格和經驗也改善了才搬到左邊，現在真的可以說我住在天龍國。這個感覺好奇奇怪怪，當天龍國人是不是大家的夢想？但，可能有一點失散？台灣人工作的好努力，真的太努力，他們人生就是7－11的（早七晚十一，辦公室always open），為什麼我有足夠的錢住在那個左邊的天龍國，其他的比較努力的人不可能呢？天龍國現在是我的生活，需要記得我愛台灣，但全台灣不是天龍國，大部分也是右邊的。還需要抗議為了改善勞動薪水，台灣人生活水平，勞動法。

Beef Sashimi, Goose Liver Sushi and My Interesting Month. Plus Links.

BURN IT!

October has proven to be quite the interesting month - I've spent much of it shuttling between Taipei and Donggang for King Boat, one of my favorite festivals, eating some really ridiculously good food and generally making merry. Here's a recap:

Beef sashimi

                 
Last night we went out for beef sashimi at 無雙牛肉 in Yonghe, in a lane off Lehua Night Market (#24-1, Alley 6, Lane 111 Yonghe Road Sec. 1 - you have to enter the night market to get there). Although you can get it elsewhere, I'm sure, this was my first beef sashimi experience and I was pleased. The first plate we got was thawed, but served cold, and had a velvety mouthfeel. The second was more frozen - I preferred the first, but the slight crunch of ice with the second was also good. The chef is a real foodie and has lots of rules (sashimi before soup, don't harass, bother or disturb the boss, beef sashimi only on Wednesdays). Another good find there is the beef soup, which has a slightly cloudy but deeply flavored and textured, a real umami-bomb of broth.

Listen to the boss.

                                     

Another cool temple in Donggang

The week before that, I returned to 貍小路 (Tanuki Koji) on Anhe Road, one of my favorite Japanese-style restaurants (an izikaya, really), which happens to be very close to my apartment. Despite the price (you won't get out for less than NT$1000 per person unless you forgo sake, and why do that?), and the difficulty of getting seats, I absolutely love their food. The old Taipei Times review points to the potato, cheese and fish roe dish, beef sashimi and grilled fish as your best bets, along with sea urchin. The urchin is great and I always love the fish, but the beef sashimi is no longer available. My recommendations are the milkfish sushi, the stuffed chicken wings (stuffed with meat, fish roe and some red pepper for a hot aftertaste), the blanched tomato in sesame sauce and the sea urchin.

我很貴

And then there's the one thing you absolutely cannot miss: the goose liver sushi. It's lightly seared goose liver (not sure if it's foie gras or just goose liver, and I don't want to know) with a touch of a delicious sauce served as one-bite sushi. It seems like a large portion for one bite, but the goose liver melts in your mouth and creates an explosion of earth-shattering flavor. Unless you're a vegetarian, you absolutely have to try it. It will change your life. Just don't sit where I sat: I'm pretty sure they had to clean that cushion after my visit. It was that good.

Between these two memorable restaurant visits, I went to the boat burning that marks the end of King Boat festival. Not only is it an exhausting, but fascinating and in some ways transformative experience to stay up all night on a beach full of people and watch a life-size boat (and huge pile of ghost money) burn at dawn, it also makes for some really cool photos. I'll wrote another post on that later.


                    

                    

After the burning, we slept in and spent the rest of the day in Donggang - I'll write more about that later. What I'll note here is that we ran into an off-duty spirit medium the next evening - I thought he was doing some sort of ceremony around the still-burning remnants of the boat and ghost money, but no, he was taking photos.

And then he let us do this (in fact, it was his idea):

                       

                       

As you can see, I am way more comfortable as 濟公 the eccentric monk than Brendan is. Clearly I am a kindred spirit to Ji Gong (hah!), no matter how unflattering his robe is on me. An eccentric monk with a benevolent heart who enjoys meat and alcohol? Sign me up! Except for the monk part.

Part of the "South Taiwan, So Cool" Exhibit                    

Before heading down for the boat burning, I stopped for a few hours in Kaohsiung. This doesn't get its own post because the show is over, but Pier 2 was having a really interesting exhibit on products designed and made in southern Taiwan (South Taiwan, So Cool!). Some of it was graphic design, with a huge display of southern Taiwanese graphic design from the 19th century up until modern times, some was artsy design or traditional cottage industry stuff (think Hakka Blue, Meinong oilpaper umbrellas), some was manufacturing (think Kymco bikes), some was local goods (think baked goods).

                         



The entire exhibit was in Chinese, which was a shame - I can read but I'm slow, and I had to get to Donggang, so I only had the time to read a few plaques. Foreigners who can't read at all would be at a loss here, and yet I can imagine there are foreigners who are illiterate in Chinese but would be quite interested in something like this. Signage in English, even if it's kind of Chinglishy, would have been a good idea.

I also stopped at the Dome of Light just for fun - I love it and haven't been there in years - and got some famous Gong Cha lightly salted cream green tea (near MRT Yanchengpu). Now, I just found out that there's one right near my apartment on Tonghua Street, but at the time I didn't realize that and I thought it was all special. But I don't regret going all the way out there. That tea is GOOD!



Donggang's famous place for eatin' is Huaqiao harbor market (華僑市場), where I ate very well for those two weekends, ping-ponging between a guy with a truck that sells grill-your-own local fish, snails, cheap oysters (one serving is NT$100, three servings is massive) and handmade Taiwanese tempura (甜不辣) among other things...and Yu Nong (漁農), the best restaurant at the harbor in my opinion, which does a mean tuna belly and some fantastic fried fish balls.

In Donggang we enjoyed some good Vietnamese food, too - one of the best things about heading down there is enjoying the tasty and generally authentic Southeast Asian food available due to the large SE Asian communities in the area.

One small part of The Dome of Light

             
I also did what I would consider to be one of my best presentation seminars - I'd done great ones previously for some other clients, but this one really knocked it out of the park. We got a fantastic group of people from Moet Hennessy (the luxury conglomerate that also owns Glenmorangie, Ardbeg and other wine and spirit purveyors. I linked to Glenmorangie's Taiwan Facebook page because I heard a whole presentation about it the other day) who already had strong English and were very receptive to advanced-level skills, bonus lessons and tips, and feedback. It capped off with a 20-minute talk on whiskey tasting, delivered by a fantastic presenter. It went 10 minutes overtime (final presentations are meant to be ten minutes) but was so interesting that nobody bothered to stop him from talking.

It was much better than the time I did a similar seminar and got to hear a presentation about erectile dysfunction in obese Asian men at 9am on a Saturday in a hospital conference room. I'm happy that I now know a lot more about whiskey (which I was already a fan of, the peatier the better), but could stand to know a bit less about erectile dysfunction in obese Asian men.

Finally, I got my permanent resident certificate (woohoo!). They say the process is supposed to be quick. It's not, at least not for me. I started it in May and got the card in October.

Oh yes, and I met Jet Li.

                             

I'll leave you with some links - 

US isn't doing so well in gender equality (duh)

An honest discussion of the wage gap

Sexism in the skeptic/atheist community: the scandal continues. I'm a skeptic and an atheist but not a part of the community, and not interested in being a part of it. This is a part of the reason (also, I just don't like joining groups. Dunno, I'm weird like that).

A really good answer to guys who feel they've been "friend zoned" - either be her friend, or don't, but make that decision for you and don't blame her for her lack of interest (but do walk away if she strings you along with no clear answer)

Boosting the birth rate in Taiwan (which I personally don't think is necessary beyond attaining replacement level birth rates)

Is paying a new graduate in Taiwan NT$20,000 a month for a 25-day/month work week even remotely acceptable? I don't think so, but the government doesn't seem too concerned. They keep the minimum wage at about NT$17,000+/month and don't seem to be doing much to address the issue. I might write more on this later.

Even Nice Can Be Annoying - a good answer to why women get annoyed when men hit on them.

Mitt Romney Greets a Gay Veteran, Has His Ass Handed To Him - Mitt Romney would probably not say right to a gay person's face, or address the LGBT community, that he supports continued discrimination against them, that he believes it is right and legal to restrict their rights and block legislation seeking to end such discrimination. That it's OK to treat them as second-class citizens because his religious opinion is more important than their rights. (If he did do that I'd still think him vile and bigoted, of course, but at least I'd say he's got a pair of brass ones, no matter how misplaced his ideas). Had he known that veteran was gay he probably would have changed what he said - to what, exactly, I don't know. If you're not willing to say something to someone's face, or address a group head on with your views, it is a good sign that your views are terrible.

Same for a lot of Republican candidates and legislators talking about women's issues, by the way. I doubt Richard Mourdock would go up to a rape victim who was impregnated by her rapist, and tell her how to feel (specifically that she should feel the child is a 'gift from God' - a god she may not believe in), and that feeling any other way is unacceptable to him because for some reason his opinion matters.

I do think there is hope for the Taiwanese economy (these guys are my clients, by the way, so I'm kind of biased). There may not be hope for wage growth or sane working hours, but I don't believe Taiwan's economic prospects are so dire as many locals believe.

"I'm feminist and it's tradition in China? On keeping your last name" - a great blog post by Jocelyn. Only one quibble -  it's not longstanding tradition in China. It's a relatively recent change, and even now the husband's name + "tai tai" (太太), a la "Madame Chiang Kai-Shek" was the typical form of address for a woman - among others that all stressed the husband's name over any mention of the wife's. Even in Taiwan many of the older women still go by their husband's last name. In our apartment complex, plenty of articles in our local newsletter refer to women with two last names - theirs and their husband's. I wrote something quite different awhile back, on how it's normal in Taiwan not to change your name, but I did. 

I am, however, considering legally changing it back and just going by my married name socially, as other than my marriage certificate, that's what I do anyway.

And just a final interesting photo: