it's iPod Touch Photo Day on Lao Ren Cha!

Ahem. Uh. Guys. Yeah, guys? So. We need to talk. I hate to tell you this but...YOU ARE NOT COOL. You are not 'hip', you are not 'with it', you are not 'all that', and this is a 'fail', not a 'win'. Eric, you are not and never will be James Bond. "New Taipei City So Happy?" Really? Couldn't you have taken the money you threw away on those sunglasses and paid an English editor, perhaps?

Oh yeah. And guys? That stance and the sunglasses makes me feel a little too much like you're about to have me shot for political subversion. Y'all have kind of a *history* with that if y'know what I'm sayin'.

(Photo by Brendan)

Considering the interesting comments on my last post about women and marriage in Taiwan, my next long post is likely to be about men and marriage in Taiwan. I'm no sociologist, but I have been asking around in a very informal, unscientific way (and a way appropriate for class: basically having them read a current events article on birth rates/marriage stats in Taiwan and having it be a discussion question) and am collecting a fair number of Taiwanese men's views on marriage here on the island.

I'd just ask friends, but I seem to have this thing where my expat friends are quite varied by gender (that is, I have some of both), but my Taiwanese friends are almost exclusively female.

Anyway. I'm still working on that because I have to do actual research so in the meantime, please enjoy some fun iTouch photos from around Taipei, including some of election-related gems.

Some of these were taken on Brendan's gadget, but only one was taken while I was not actually there.

Oh, and I cheated with two - the photos that are actually of decent quality were taken on a real camera. But they're still funny.

Domo is gonna eat the kitty. Clearly he likes his meat marbled and fatty.

Young boy on the stairs at an oddly deserted Taipei Main Station, around 11:45pm.

MONKEY! Monkey monkey monkey monkey. Took this one in Nicaragua.

"No Frills Seasoning" kind of scares me.

Jurassic Jewelry...home of the renowned T-rex tooth necklace.

Run of the mill campaign ad, but look at his little cartoon guy in the bottom left. He's Popeye! For real!

This is my favorite guy, the siphon brewin' coffee guy at Drop Coffee House (I mistakenly called them "People Say" but it's Drop). Go spend exorbitant amounts of money on their amazing coffee, and enjoy sitting in a restored Japanese house! Go now!

Clunky Puns

Ah, Taipei district elections.

The Chinese language has a proud history of puns - word play is considered one of the highest forms of comedy and wit, and while I question any "wit" that's based on a pun, since it's more difficult to pun effectively in Chinese (at least for me), I can sort of almost be OK with it. I will even do it sometimes, to which those who have heard my "下很大！" joke on rainy days can attest.

Well, as a friend of mine noted, Presidential candidates have the money for professional staff to come up with their witty lines and groan-worthy puns - that's how we got "馬上改善經濟“ (actually not sure it said "gai shan" - it was years ago during the Ma/Xie election). It means "Immediately improve the economy". For those who don't speak Chinese, "Immediately" is "馬上", which also means "on the horse", and now-President Ma's name is the same "Ma" as "horse". And of course those ads had pictures of President Horse riding...a horse. Ha ha. Oh, you slay me. (Ba-dum ching!)

District candidates...don't have that money. As you can see here:

We've been kind of following the Zhongshan-Datong election because we have a friend who lives in that area, and we haven't seen much happening in Jingmei. The fight seems to be between Yeh Lin-chuan, the KMT candidate above with a penchant for the color scheme of a Pretty Pretty Princess dollhouse, and one A-Yu, whose last name is not that important.

(I do love the super-feminine Yeh Linchuan poster on the ubiquitous blue truck with the ubiquitous undershirt wearing dude driving it).

I originally mistranslated this poster as "(Yeh Lin) Chuan comes out to love" because, as many of you know, I am capable of heroically misusing the "把" construction. I was corrected: his name is used as a pun here. The "chuan" of "Linchuan" is added to the phrase to say "Take the love and send it out".

Aww. Peace, man. Love yer scrolling purple characters. I think you should add a few more flowers, though.

Then there's A-Yu, who, instead of the usual tissues or notepads (I still have my "Ma and Siew" notepad. I drew devil horns on Ma and have him saying "I love China!") has been giving out face masks:

A-Yu's name (餘) is basically the same as pronunciation as 魚 for "fish", so the little card says "With one fish, eat three times" and three reasons why you should vote for him (the usual stuff, like he'll help bring development, he'll speak for you in city government etc.). Under that it says "Plus, get a side dish: Twenty years of experience!" - though that seems to be referencing some other guy also on the ad.

Sigh. I mean, it's cute & all, and Americans do it too, even if our candidates don't do it themselves ("Obama-rama" or "That's my Bush!" anyone?). But I feel like you either need to be truly witty or hire someone who is, or you get kind of clunky puns like the ones above.

(BTW, simply because I lean green with a dash of brown, I'd vote for A-Yu if I could vote here).