Up!

So I have tons of photos from Sun Moon Lake to post, and I'm working on a post about making idli in Taipei and another on the conflicting ideas of "we're all the same around the world" vs. "our cultures make us all diverse" (hint: they're both true and not even all that conflicting).

I'm also working on turning Taipei in Sepia and Blue into a story that could potentially be published somewhere. That's already happened with Spirit Mediums in Donggang, which will be published as a story called Gods Rushing In in an anthology of stories by expat women in Asia which I think is coming out next year (but don't hold me to that). So...at least I know I'm not a terrible writer, even though my blog posts are riddled with errors, run-on sentences, half-sentences and all sorts of organizational problems. Yay!

But I seem to have a fair amount of bloggers' block, because I haven't been able to sit down and hammer any of this out.

It could be partly because I've been in front of the computer too much for other reasons - since I've given notice at work and started up as a freelancer I've managed to secure a pretty good seminar contract, and that required creating my own materials (for giving good interviews in English).

But I think it's mostly for three reasons:

First, I have four or five friends who are leaving or probably leaving Taiwan in the fall or winter. Two want to go back to Canada, one is definitely going back to the USA, one is likely doing the same, and one is moving to the USA to be with her fiance. Of course I'm really happy for all of them and I want only the best for them as they make their way in life! I just can't help but feel a little down that in the near future I am going to lose something like a third of my social circle. Obviously I'm not hanging on any one friend, it's just that losing five (well, not losing permanently, you know what I mean) at roughly the same time is a bit of a blow. As long as I don't guilt-trip or get all mopey-faced around these friends, I think it's fine to admit that this has me a little down, and it's not anyone's fault, and it's not like I would or want to make anyone change their plans. Add to this a friend who is moving to Kaohsiung, and damn.

I also am feeling acutely right now my lack of a female Best Friend - a BFF - (I mean other than Brendan, who really is my best friend, and that's not just a cliche) in Taiwan. It comes and goes - most of the time it's fine, sometimes I'm actually grateful to be relatively free, sometimes I feel like Brendan fits that role so well that I'm covered, sometimes I notice but it's no biggie, and sometimes I just really want someone I can call up and be all "I need margaritas ASAP. You free?" and I know she'll (I feel like this particular role is best suited to a woman in my case) either have time or make time, and that time'll be sooner rather than later. I've had friends who were like this but I don't now, and I'm feelin' it.

I know I'll get through it. I have other friends and I have Brendan.

Second, ever since the great weight was lifted off my shoulders when I gave notice at work, it's been hitting home how really and truly awful my workplace has been. It's not like I didn't know before, but just to keep myself psychologically whole while I toiled for those people, I relegated that knowledge to somewhere in the back-end of my amygdala, where I didn't have to think about it day-to-day. I've known I had to quit ever since they gave Brendan the shaft, and only stuck around long enough to build up a little savings and get permanent residency so they can't touch me visa-wise.

 (they have been known to accidentally-on-purpose screw up paperwork for leaving teachers to cause disruptions in their visas and residency permits, which causes all sorts of immigration issues and renders you ineligible for permanent residency, so this was really something I just had to grit my teeth and do so as to not risk that). Now that I'm mentally free to ponder to the fullest extent just how horrible they are, wow.

I don't even feel bad saying all of this publicly, although I won't name the company (under Taiwanese law they could sue me for that). If I need to work in an officially employed capacity again and a potential employer finds this, I feel that either they should understand what some bosses can be like in this industry in Taiwan, or give me a chance to explain myself further. If they'll do neither, I'm not sure I want to work for them. Or I'll just delete the post when it's time to look for work, if this freelancing thing doesn't work out and I need to seek it.

The problem is, what this is doing is causing me to feel bitter - hopefully temporarily but I can't be sure - about the entire English teaching industry in Taiwan, and about working under Asian (my former boss isn't Taiwanese) bosses in general. I label this as a cultural difference, and the issues here are differences in how we think based on our cultural upbringings. But it has just enough of a shine of racism to it that I don't want this thought lurking in my head to the extent that it is.

It has me not wanting to trust any potential boss who is Chinese (and I mean that culturally, not racially), especially any who own an English school in Taiwan. It has me thinking they're all awful, because every single one I've worked under has been basically awful, and most stories I've heard have also been awful. Awful in that maybe someone from the same culture could deal with all the bullshit, but I just can't.

And that is not good, my dears. That is not good at all. Not good for my career, not good for my psyche, not good for the whole "I don't want to be racist and this could be seen as racist although it's not about race, it's about differing cultural expectations" thing.

Anyway, this could be its own blog post, so I'll save the rest of my rant until then, maybe with a few happy posts - because I'm also happy, I'm not just down - as a buffer.

And third, the fact that lately, everyone I know seems to be having a hard time in Taiwan, or even openly hating it (this is related in some way to the fact that four or five of my friends are leaving or planning to leave by the end of the year).

The reasons range from "it's OK but I'm just not excited every morning to be here" to "I hate this place" to "it'd be great except for all the racism" to "I'm trying so hard to do well at work, save money and have a good time, but it's just not working out for me, I'm miserable and exhausted and I want to go home" to a Taiwanese friend who says her own people irritate the everloving hell out of her and she just wants to go back to Canada to be with her girlfriend.

And that has me down. It has me down because it has me questioning why I like it so much, and why my experiences have generally been positive - save my terrible work situation. Why do good things keep happening to me, and not to others? What is it about Taiwan that I see the good in, and they don't? I've had to think a lot about this. Also about the light that went on in my head when a friend of mine revealed that her issues stemmed mostly from her extremely racist boss, not necessarily Taiwan itself (or not only Taiwan itself). I haven't had to deal with that kind of racism, so it was a wake-up call that just because people are nice to me because I'm Paley McCracker, that it doesn't mean things are going to be all positive and happy for foreigners who are not white.

I think this - what do I see in Taiwan that others don't? Why have I had good experience when others haven't? Or why do I see great things where others are merely "meh" about it all? - also deserves its own post so I'll stop there, too.

Oh yeah, and there's a fourth. I've had a minor but distressing health issue these past few weeks that I'm currently being tested for. I'm awaiting the results (don't worry, it's not life-threatening or even long-term threatening) but the likely culprit is a hormone imbalance that is probably wreaking havoc on my emotions without my realizing it.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. A big ol' swirl of emotion. I'm not unhappy. Life is actually quite nice since I've given notice at work. I'm trying to travel more but not succeeding. I'm starting the DELTA Module One in September, online.

I've just got a lot on my mind and some of it is getting me down.

They Push And They Pull

From here: http://dapili.pixnet.net/album/photo/163886469

This post is about something that's been on my mind these past few days - how hard it is to accurately depict your feelings on expat life in Taiwan in a conversation. I feel like either I end up sounding too negative, or too positive, when really I'm moderate-trending-toward-positive.

Two conversations:

In the first one, I was the only foreign woman on a boat carrying approximately 100 people. Otherwise all the men were foreigners, and all the women were Taiwanese. I don't know how many "ABCs" - or to be more nuanced about it, Westerners of Asian heritage - there were. There was at least one. It turned out later that I was one of two foreign women. I noticed that and commented on it, and although I didn't mean for it to come out particularly negative - negative in terms of the skewed ratios of the expat population, certainly, but not negative in terms of life in Taiwan - it probably did. I probably came across as more bitter than I actually am (which is not very). In another, I was not the only foreign woman there - there were several women, ABC and foreign, and several men of different backgrounds. I was attempting to say how happy I was to see that, that so often it's "Asian women and Western - usually white - men", but again, I probably came off more bitter about it than I actually am.

In the other, I was chatting with a colleague who hates it here. I'm not sure why he's stayed for so long, - the only positive thing I've ever heard him say about Taiwan is a compliment on Taipei's public transportation network (which, let's be honest, is awesome. Poor Taichung. You just don't even know). This coworker is a funny guy and a generally nice person and I don't dislike him. However, whenever he gets on his Taiwan Hate Spree, I feel like I'm put in the position of pointing out all the good things about this country. If he points out the hideous bathroom-tile buildings, I point out the lovely brick Japanese baroque architecture ("but they tore all that down!" "Not all of it, and they're now finally trying to preserve what's left"). If he points out that every taxi driver tries to screw him, I point out that that almost never happens to me, so perhaps he's seeing malice where none is intended (I don't point out that if you can show you speak solid Chinese, beyond knowing your destination, that people are far less likely to try and pull that crap on you). If he points out that "this would never happen in Canada", I point out that his country is far from perfect (although I'll admit it has some strong advantages over the USA) and certainly crazy and annoying stuff happens in Canada, too. All in all, I probably come off as far more starry-eyed about Taiwan than I actually am. I quite possibly sound like someone who thinks this country is perfect.

And...neither are true! I will admit I feel the positives of Taiwan outweigh the negatives by a pretty significant amount. If they didn't, I wouldn't have stayed. Goodness knows I left DC and China after 3 years (not counting college) and 1 year, respectively. They both had their good points, but their negatives outweighed them.

I just feel that, especially in shorter conversations or conversations where you don't know people well, that the natural wending of the discussion will lead many people to come off as too positive, sounding like we think Taiwan is absolutely perfect! In! Every! Way!!, or too negative, in that it! sucks! giant! snakeballs!

If everyone around you is talking about how great Taiwan is and you join in, the one guy who is miserable will assume you're all just brainwashed or full of over-optimism. If everyone around you is having a bit of a whinge (hey, it happens, even for those of us who love it here) and you add your own bad experiences, the one person who loves it here will assume you're all just narrowminded, possibly racist, definitely embittered cultural imperialists.

And yet, if everyone around you is talking about how great Taiwan is and you feel compelled to point out that it's not perfect, everyone else may assume you're, well, narrowminded and bitter (I don't think that happened in my example above, but I've definitely seen it happen - the person who points out a fault is jumped on for being "too negative" when they aren't feeling negative at all, just pointing out one little issue). If everyone is whinging about Taiwan and you feel it's gone a bit 太over啦 (overboard), and start pointing out the positives - as I do with my coworker who will not stop complaining - they may assume you have a head full of stardust (that coworker probably thinks just this about me).

It also happens online - someone who sees one post of yours in a thread either praising or complaining about Taiwan quite possibly assumes that's the sum total, or at least an accurate portrayal, of your entire opinion, and gets a very wrong idea about you.

And, of course, it's also influenced by your mood that day - you may come off as miserable in your life in general if you meet another expat when you happen to be having a bad day or week, or you may come off as Happy Fairy Expat because you happened to have a great day or week. It seems, in the expat world, there isn't much accounting for how you may feel more generally. Either you love or hate it here, and that decision will be made for you by bystanders based on the exact circumstances of that moment, and only those circumstances. I feel people really are more forgiving in their home countries, where most people are culturally integrated. There is more room back home for "she's just having a bad day" or "he's happy with his life, but if you talk to him longer you'll realize he's aware of the negative aspects of his own country, too".

I guess this is because so many expat conversations, especially among people who don't know each other, tend to start out with talking about our lives in Taiwan and what we like or don't like, and snap judgments are made. Not too many conversations in America, unless you're at a Tea Party BBQ I suppose, focus on our lives in America and what we do/don't like about them.

There's no easy answer to this, I just felt like writing about it.

In the end I hope I come off as too positive more often than I do too negative. Frankly, I'd rather have a head full of stardust about where I live. It is where I live after all. May as well try and like it, even on the bad days.

Annual Party (尾牙) Culture in Taiwan

Here, be cheered up by nearly naked engineers dancing in diapers

Seriously, I got nothin'. I can't write anything except to say how disappointed I am in the election results, and what good'd that do?

So, I'm going to write about the 尾牙, or company year-end banquet that is held by most workplaces of some size in Taiwan. Smaller offices don't always hold them, especially tiny offices with just a few people in them working in Taiwan for a larger global company. Some of the larger companies, like Mediatek, hold them by business unit rather than for the whole company. Others, like Foxconn and Gamania, hold ginormous company-wide bashes (Foxconn even invites reporters; the others don't).

Not many foreigners get to attend these parties - large international companies that employ a few foreigners will certainly invite them, but otherwise there aren't many chances to attend. Some English schools have something similar (Kojen holds its annual banquet at the end of the summer, and my husband's company has one before Christmas), but they're not quite the same and resemble weddings or corporate events back home more than a  knock-down drag 'em out Taiwanese 尾牙(pronounced "wei ya" for all you non-Chinese speakers).

And I really mean knock down drag 'em out:

The lack of foreigners attending these parties could explain why they're not really talked about in expat circles, except to note that adult students take time off around this time of year to attend. And the expat versions are, in my opinion, not nearly as much fun.

There are different kinds of annual parties, of course. One company I work with has an extremely formal affair, which probably did not include engineers dancing in diapers.  Attendees are invited to wear ball gowns, but few actually do. Another has a 1,500 person mega affair in the NTU gymnasium, and this year featured an executive in drag and my student in a sequined top dancing to Lady Gaga (I was not invited; I saw the pictures). 

The one I was invited to last night was for a very local company - you can see the name displayed across the top of most of the photos I've included. They're based in Tucheng (土城) and the party was in Shulin (樹林) - yes, I rode the MRT to the end of the line and then took a cab from the station and back; I was that excited about attending one of these functions. This one, I  have been assured, was about as "local" as it gets, at a seafood restaurant in an old Japanese-era brick building, with backlit stage screen bearing the company's name, smoke machines (no joke!), lasers, confetti, sexy dancers, alcohol and insane talent shows and, of course, a lucky draw. It wasn't terribly formal - I wore a nice but not fancy outfit I might wear to work on any given day, adding only a light touch of makeup - and felt   as though I was dressed just about right.

Here are some sexy flight attendants for you

I believe I was invited at all simply because this company is extremely Taiwanese, locally based, not that large, started by one whip-smart, slightly kooky engineer who decided that he may as well open his own company, who is the CEO but very visible in the company offices. He is my former student (the General Manager is my current student). They have much more of a "come on, the more the merrier, we like you so come drink and eat with us" attitude than other companies I've worked with (although generally speaking I have liked every company I've worked with, even if they didn't invite me to their year-end banquets). My own organization was surprised at their hospitality: I decided that it was such an interesting chance to see a piece of local culture that I couldn't pass it up, even though it meant postponing another class.

The Taiwanese attendees will often tell you that the lucky draw is the most important part of the night, and the best part. Some will even say it's the main reason to attend. Companies do this differently, too. Some give out money and prizes. Some give out fewer, larger prizes (Foxconn famously has a prize in the millions of NT, paid out over several years. Other companies give out smaller prizes to more people. Some give every employee a red envelope with a few thousand in it, and have a few prizes on top of that). Bigger prizes have been things like cars or other luxury items. On the awesome but slightly less extravagant end, my friend's girlfriend won a purse from Tod's.

Many companies have a well-known rule that if an executive or high enough manager wins the prize, he or she has to donate it back to the company for someone else to win, and sometimes add more money on top of that (if it's a cash prize, they either give it back or double it). Some companies get a set amount from the company for the lucky draw prizes, and the higher-ups each put in another NT$20,000 or so to pad the prize-load. If an executive wins and does not do this, he or she is the object of much whispering and tittering in the cube farm the next day, and on Facebook.

I, however, think the best part of the night is the part you don't usually see at affairs full of foreigners (although Brendan's company holiday bash featured a watered-down version of one, which was, honestly, nothing like the one I saw on Friday), the talent show.
        

This is where all the shy, maybe kind of awkward, definitely not wild-n-crazy students you thought you had practice for weeks for the chance to prance around on a stage in Spongebob underpants.

Or do a sexy dance (these are all company employees).

Or do whatever this is.

Basically, they get up there and do things I just don't see foreigners generally acquiescing to, let alone coming up with the idea for.  They tried to get me to sing some random Christmas song from the '70s at Brendan's party, and I was conveniently in the bathroom fixing my lipstick when it was supposed to happen (there was no rehearsal, though. It was just sort of  thrust upon me). Nobody at the party full of foreigners seemed interested in  getting onstage.

And yet, these generally introverted, often (but not always) quiet guys who spend all day every weekday boxed up in a cubicle are willing to do...this:

And this:

And, uh, this:

And, you know, that's what I think makes a Taiwanese year-end banquet so much fun. I was quite literally stunned several times over by the increasing craziness of the talent show acts. Every time I found my mouth hanging open, that no group would do something nuttier or more self-effacing than what I'd just seen, I was proven wrong by, oh, I don't know, dorky engineers in clown wigs dancing with secretaries in black leather corsets.

I left at about 11pm, when the party at the actual venue was winding down. I probably could have finagled an invitation to KTV, but I was tired and needed to catch the MRT home (and wasn't sure who I trusted to drive me among those heading to KTV until 3am). So when the lights came up, I said my slightly drunken Chinese and Taiwanese goodbyes and caught a cab back to MRT Fu-da, stuffed and full of alcohol - but not that drunk, as I'd spaced it out between courses of food.

Although I did have a bit more than intended: my students are the CEO and General Manager, who are of course just the guys who came around with wine, beer and whiskey to "bottoms up" with every table, and they seemed to take great delight in coming by my seat more than once to see if I could handle it (I could). They were clearly much worse off than I was.

Not only did I pull off a decent night of socializing in Chinese, but I made some friends, too. These guys' costumes are probably offensive to somebody but who cares.

 One thing I really enjoyed was the challenge of socializing in Chinese in an entirely Taiwanese milieu for a night, with no chance to slip back into English. It was sink-or-swim social Chinese, and I am proud to say that I swam.  The chance to bring out my Chinese for a real-life event and have to use it all night - not a simulation, not "just for fun" with people who actually speak English, but all-out, all night, with people who don't speak English.

Just the sort of thing I encourage my students to do in English, which they seem to be terrified of (although less so when I am done with them).

It's a fun night - assuming you speak Chinese or the attendees have an overall good level of English, otherwise it could be quite confusing and not that much fun - and something I hope more foreigners get the chance to do. Certainly more fun, from what I've heard, than a typical Taiwanese wedding. Then again, that's hearsay: I've never been to one.

I do think the level of craziness has something to do with the fact that these guys work far more grueling hours than most Westerners, and get out far less often. We foreigners might go out at least once a week, and things like "beer on Friday with coworkers" would be a pretty normal thing to do. It's almost as though we have tiny wei-yas all year, and these guys save it all up for one crazy bash in which they shed all inhibition.

With my student, the General Manager...and his secretary, who won two lucky draw prizes.

Basically, I wish I could go to one of these every year!

So now, my goals for socializing and cultural experience in Taiwan,  beyond the festivals I'd like to hit this year, are:

- A wedding. It's been five years and I've never been to one. My friends just aren't into marriage.

- A street party or "ban dou" (辦桌), for a wedding or otherwise.

- Something featuring showgirls or dancers. Preferably on a truck that converts into a stage and is covered in LEDs (電花車), and as local as possible. I don't want high class professional showgirls, I want the ones who come in on a blue truck for the Pingdong Pineapple Factory annual bash. Or something.

- Something where I actually have to practice with a group and go on stage dressed as something ridiculous (no sexy dancing, though).

And with that, I leave you with a few more amusing photos from my ridiculous Friday night. I can only hope you all get the chance to go to one of these someday. They're a cultural experience not to be missed.

My two students, singing a Taiwanese folk song, completely off their heads

Obligatory group shot before the drunkenness commenced (the guys in suits are my students)

Spongebob, check. Not sure why he needs a Spiderman, but check. But...three Spidermen?

WOOOOOOOOOO!

These guys crack me up

And some more sexy flight attendants for you.

So I'm Quiet...But I Want To Talk

Not long ago I was chatting with a student - we were sharing a taxi to the HSR, as he was returning to Tucheng while I returned to Taipei. He asked me what I thought of Taiwanese people, if I had any Taiwanese friends, what it was like to have a social life as a foreigner in Taiwan - all in all a more interesting conversation than the usual "you married yet? How long have you been in Taiwan? Can you eat our food?" taxi banter.

I told him basically what I said in the linked post above, albeit more succinctly. Basically that my Taiwanese friends were great, that generally we have friendships not unlike those in the West, but with two key differences that I have come to accept (because I have to - if I didn't I wouldn't have any local friends):

1.) Americans hang out with their friends far more often. It would be highly unusual to not see a friend for months on end unless they lived far away.  It would be a sign that the friendship was dying. In our free time our first thought, at least those of us who are extroverts, is what we can do socially. In Taiwan people seem to spend time with friends far less often, take the initiative to invite friends out less often (they do it, just not with the same frequency) They don't worry about not seeing friends for awhile, and don't really think of social options first when faced with free time.  Whereas doing something with friends would be my default weekend plan, staying home and resting is often the default in Taiwan.

and

2.) While there are introverts back home and extroverts in Taiwan who buck the trend (I count many of these among my friends), very generally speaking people are more outgoing in the USA. If you invite them to a party or group event, they'll take the initiative to talk to people they don't know - the default would be to socialize, not to be quiet until someone talked to you. When I host a party back home I don't have to play hostess too much - people will get on without my help. Here I feel like, for many of my local friends, I have to introduce them around and get things flowing far more.  People talk less and often reveal far less about themselves.

When I said that exactly - "people reach out less, they reveal less about themselves, they talk less" - my student nodded vigorously and added that when he was young, his parents and teachers actively taught him not to talk too much. He was taught that not only was being quiet and listening to others a virtue and talking too much a sign of arrogance, but that revealing too much or giving too many opinions was a bad idea, because "if the wrong person heard your idea, you could get in trouble in the past". Along the lines of the cryptic "a truck would come to your house" comment another student once made.

He added that it might seem to foreigners that many Taiwanese people are quieter, have less to say, have fewer opinions (unless you're an old lady or a taxi driver), or are generally happy to just be quiet - but that it's not really true, at least with many of them. "In fact we have a lot of ideas and opinions. Actually, sometimes I want to say something, but I don't. It's not easy to forget my teachers and my family telling me to be quiet. They told me it's dangerous to say too much, and that people - especially children - need to be quiet. So I am quiet. But I want to talk."

Basically he was saying that a lot of people in Taiwan are not naturally introverted or quiet - they are that way because it was drummed into them that they should be that way.

Which...hmm. First, it begs the question - if this is true and it's not an ingrained cultural trait but rather something that's drilled into children from a young age, due to traditional beliefs, political threat or more likely a vitriolic combination of both - is it even possible for an entire culture to force itself to be quiet? Is it possible to mold introverts from people who would otherwise be outgoing? I have my doubts: I'm a natural extrovert and I don't think any amount of childhood training could have repressed that. I was always a bit too talkative in class and teacher reprimands and even notes home never really curbed that tendency. Not to mention that there are enough openly outgoing people in Taiwan for me to wonder - if they never got rid of their talkative streak, how can anyone say that this kind of conditioning works?

It also makes me wonder - if this is something drilled into children the way American kids were forced to practice penmanship to perfection in my grandmother's generation, does its status as a cultural belief deeply held enough to be forced upon children with such vigor not count it by default as a cultural trait - especially considering that humility as a virtue really is a cultural trait here?

And finally, if this was exacerbated by the political climate of the 20th century - mainly the KMT and the White Terror but let's face it, the Japanese weren't angels either - I have to wonder if things were different for those who lived their lives before any of that. If I found a 110-year-old woman out in the countryside - not inconceivable, seeing as old folks in Taiwan seem to make it to 250 without much problem (just kidding...sort of. I am pretty sure some of my neighbors in Jingmei were born during the late Ming Dynasty) - would she have different notions?

Just something to wonder about. I really don't know, I found my student's comments interesting is all. "They told me it's dangerous to talk too much...so I am quiet. But I want to talk" - it makes one think doesn't it?

外國朋友

Riffing a bit on my post about friendship in Taiwan over a week ago...I was chatting with a local acquaintance about the phrase "外國朋友" (or 外國人朋友) - literally "foreign friend".

"It should be pretty good," he said. "In the past, Taiwan didn't have many foreigners, so if a Taiwanese person had a foreign friend, it was some kind of honor."

"An honor? To have a friend who is not from Taiwan? Any friend? Of any age, from any country?"

"Yes. So they are trying to be very nice when they call you 'foreign friend', it's like a friend but higher."

"Hmm. But it seems to me that to say 'foreign friend' makes it clear that that friend is different or set apart."

"Yes! It's true!"

"So to me that sounds like 'these people are my friends, and this foreigner is my foreign friend, like I'm not really a friend the way anyone else is."

"Yes. But it's an honor to that person."

"That local person or that foreigner?"

"That local person, and maybe the foreigner too."

"I guess...an honor, OK, but I don't really want to feel 'different' or 'higher' or have any special honor for being a foreigner. People are just people, you know? 人就是人. 'Higher' doesn't mean 'closer', in fact it feels like there is some distance."

"Yes, probably there is. Maybe that could be a language or culture issue."

"I guess. I know it is hard, and there are a lot of language and culture barriers. But still, I would rather be just a friend. Like people are just people. Have the chance to be closer, not higher. Not some special foreign friend. Anyway it's clear I'm a foreigner, there's no need to actually say so. Nobody will ever mistake me for Taiwanese."

"That is true!"

...

Fortunately, none of my friends say this in my presence (I have no idea, if they mention me at all, if they refer to me as a foreign friend when I'm not around, though). I have heard it, though, and heard myself referred to by others as someone's "foreign friend". I don't worry too much about that because I don't really know the people in question, so that's different from a real, actual friend. I try not to say "Taiwanese friend" unless there is some specific reason why I need to mention that they are Taiwanese (to explain something about an anecdote or joke, for example) or, as in my last post on friendship, I'm actively trying to dissect friendship norms with locals compared to those I have with other expats.

It makes me wonder, though. How much am I a friend and how much am I a foreign friend, and will that ever change? Should it? Is it even a big deal? Is there a bit of distance and maybe a bit of bragging inherent in the phrase foreign friend or am I overanalyzing it as I do everything?

Dunno. You tell me.