"Review" if you can call it that: How Does One Dress to Buy Dragonfruit?

Of course I'm bringing up the book again because, hey, my story's in it. So obviously I'm going to do that.

And I always intended to write a review, although of course you know the review will be positive. So think of it more as "nice things I want to say about this anthology my story is in".

So, here are some nice things.

When I received my advance copy of the anthology, of course I began reading it immediately (OK, honestly, I flipped right to my own story, "Gods Rushing In", and read that first, then I went back to the beginning to read the others. I think more people do that than would admit it).

And I have a lot of great things to say for the collection overall:

First, that it includes a range of voices and experiences. One issue I have with writing by and for women is that, probably unwittingly, a lot of it tends to cover the same ground: romance, marriage, children, family, "finding yourself", "happiness", maybe travel (if it involves romance, marriage or "finding yourself"), and works directed at female expats - as not very many works are actually by female expats - tend to focus on the same kind of expat: do they think we're all just trailing spouses, going to coffee mornings and planning Christmas bazaars, while our husbands work? (Not that there is anything wrong with being a trailing spouse who goes to coffee mornings, not at all - just that that's what people, even people who market to female expats, seem to think we all are.) That was probably the one critical flaw of one of the few other books I've reviewed on this blog. How Does One Dress to Buy Dragonfruit? avoids this nicely, and includes experiences of all sorts of women on all sorts of adventures: older, younger, married, single, settled expat, wanderer, hippie, careerist, trailing spouse, equal breadwinner.

Second, that that range of voices is also diverse. One thing I actually don't like about travel writing (or expat or backpacker communities in general) is this feeling that a lot of travelers unwittingly view the world as the playground of white people. I don't think anyone does this intentionally, but somehow the feeling is still there. Including diverse women's voices helps the anthology easily avoid that fate.

Finally, I appreciated that the pieces chosen all carefully avoided the "I came to Exotic, Mystical Asia to find myself" cliche. That's perfect - because that tired trope plays far too well into the idea too many people subconsciously have that the world is their proving grounds, the colorful backdrop full of ethnics and tribals all set up nicely to make travelers look cool, enlightened and worldly. For myself, although I wrote about a colorful Taiwanese festival, I took great pains not to make it all "I had this mystical experience", because I didn't. And honestly, Asia for me is a lot less of the "dignified man in a white Chinese cotton suit doing tai chi looking out over a gorgeous view studded with mountains and bamboo" (cue gong music) and a lot more of, say, Hsinchu Science Park. It's not mystical, it's a continent where several billion people live. I stay because I enjoy language immersion, the food's amazing, the city is convenient (After living in Taipei I feel that if you have to walk for more than one minute to get breakfast, your city sucks). And, okay, I like the festivals, but not because I feel like I need something "exotic" to "find myself", but just because I like them. Compare a folk Daoist temple parade to, say, some Veteran's Day Parade in East Surburbia, and I'm sorry but the folk Daoist parade wins.

As for the pieces I liked best, well, I liked all of them, but a few stood out. The Weight of Beauty, because it absolutely hits the mark when one looks at the intersection of beauty ideals and cultural ideals. (Although when Dorcas expressed surprise that the company would send a sexy sales rep, thinking she would be a man, I did smile...of course they did. Using female sex appeal to sell things is even more notorious in Asia than the West, and we're certainly not innocent of it in the West.) Bread and Knives, because it so beautifully uses a small experience, a moment in time, to capture so many uneasy feelings about both expat life and new parenthood. Finding Yuanfen on a Chinese Bus because it was well-written and perfectly descriptive, and conjures a type of expat a lot of people don't imagine exists: a fierce young solitary woman who has, and is not embarrassed by, a sex drive. Huangshan Honeymoon for taking a situation that most expat women and people in an intercultural marriage would balk at, and turning it into something beautiful, that made perfect sense (my only quibble is that good old Dad-in-law doesn't get off scot-free - not for thinking all foreign women are easy, although that's no good, but for thinking that it is wrong to be "easy". Some people are inclined to a libertine lifestyle and it's not OK to judge them - not me, really, Old Married Jenna is surprisingly stodgy. That said, it's not like my opinion has any impact on the Laobas of the world...so okay). The Truth About Crickets because it was both balanced and jarring, jejune in its storytelling just as something told from a child's perspective should be, with a well-constructed narrative. Waiting for Inspiration because it captures every fear I've ever had about what it would be like to be a "trailing spouse", and Charting Koenji because it perfectly captured the blend of loneliness and curiosity that mark my first few months in any new place.

...and more, I actually have like five more that I want to mention, but at that point I may as well just say something nice about every single work, so suffice it to say that even the ones not mentioned here were fantastic to read, and not mentioning them doesn't mean I didn't enjoy them just as much, for different reasons.

And obviously "Gods Rushing In" was fantastic, amazing, life-changing...the feel-good short personal narrative of the year! Hehe.

So, this is to say that you should buy the book and read it. :)

Game Day: Board Game Cafes in Taipei

8f 聚會空間

電話：(02)2711-6061

地址：南京東路三段258號八樓


I don't know what's up with the strange formatting of the information above. So...sorry about that. The photos aren't great quality either because they're low light iPhone photos. I don't know how people get such great quality photos on their phones; my iPhone photos look like crap and are notably lower in quality to my camera shots.

We had heard that the weather was looking to be pretty bad today (Sunday), when talking with a friend about hanging out. So, we decided to do something none of us had really tried before, which was to go to one of Taipei's many board game cafes. You can find a list of them here, although a few of them appear to be stores rather than cafes where you can play board games. There's also the famous Witch House near NTU (in a lane off Xinsheng South Road), where I've been for live music but I hadn't really checked out their games.

Honestly speaking, I never was much of a board gamer, although I do enjoy them: they're expensive and we never really had a lot around the house, and my friends weren't super into them, so I didn't get into them, either. While I knew Taipei was chock full of these places - and they're reasonably popular in the West, too (and I'm sure many game stores also have spaces where you can play, just as craft stores may have spots where people gather to knit or bead or quilt or what-have-you) - I hadn't really bothered trying to go to one. I guess I assumed they were full of hardcore earnest nerdy types - I mean, I'm a nerdy type myself, but nerdier than me - and you'd be expected to walk in, pick a game you knew well, and play that game like a pro. When I went to Witch House, I did look at their games, realized I didn't know how to play any of them, and copped out.



But I was wrong. A lot of these places are set up like real cafes, you can pick a game, and the staff will tell you how to play it (in Chinese) if you don't already know. And, duh, they come with instructions. Explaining game rules to me in English is generally a lost cause, you can imagine how helpful explaining them in Chinese is - although I speak Chinese. But I'm pretty good at picking up the idea of a game once I've played a round or two, so I figured with patient friends who were fine with my floundering for a bit I'd pick up any game just fine.

And a lot of them aren't set up for serious game nerds per se, but rather for people who want to play or try out a new game, but don't want to buy their own. Those things can get expensive!

So, at the suggestion of our friend Joseph, and feeling curious about the board game cafe scene in Taipei - I'm curious about every cafe scene everywhere! - we decided to give it a go.

We went to 8f Gathering Space (8f聚會空間) after a recommendation from our resident 

gamer friend, Hui (just in case you're picturing a guy, assuming all gamers are male, Hui is 

a woman). Or rather, a recommendation from her boyfriend Orson, who also joined us, 

but seeing as Hui's two main career experiences are in museum work/art history and 

gaming, she's also more than qualified.




Here's how it works, at least at 8f Gathering Space: you can make a reservation - in fact, I recommend you do as there aren't many tables. For an NT$250 per person fee, you can play away the afternoon. You show up, order tea (included in the fee), pick a game, and if you need the staff to help you they do. Then you play. It's best to go with a group of four, but we played with five and Brendan and I just acted as a single team.

There is food available, but it's basic chicken-and-rice stuff, and there is at least one private room with Japanese style floor seating. There's a nice view of Brother Hotel and MRT Nanjing East Road (the entrance is right next to the Family Mart across the street from the MRT).

I believe you can bring in snacks, either way, a good plan would be to eat lunch first, head over to drink tea and game all day, then when you're ready to go, go out for dinner (if you go to 8f, I recommend Kunming Islamic Food, just one alley down, maybe a 2 minute walk away). If you can't tear yourself away from the game, you can eat there.



We played Suburbia (it's like The Sims, in board game form), and then a few rounds of DiXit as we waited for our friend to show up so we could all go out to dinner.

DiXit involves taking six cards, and when it's your turn picking a card and giving a phrase to describe it, without showing it. The phrase should be cryptic enough that not everyone can guess (if everyone guesses you get no points) but easy enough that a few people guess (you don't get points if nobody guesses, either). Others pick cards from their selection that they think best fit the phrase, and everyone guesses which card was the original.

This was the selection we got for Taiwanese Clown President Ma Ying-jiu (馬英九):



(Sorry the focus is so bad)

We have a very fey king, a woman-cage trapping fish inside, a marionette on a throne, an sullen little boy being carried past soldiers, and a silly-looking scarecrow surrounded by sunflowers. (The original card was the boy in the cart).

Anyway, 8f is just one of many choices in Taipei, especially if you're already a board game aficionado and don't need the games explained to you (I'm not sure they will explain them at a busier establishment that doubles as a bar and live music venue like Witch House).

It's really opened up another avenue of "stuff to do on a rainy day in Taipei", and there certainly are enough rainy days in Taipei to make that an important list to fill.

Fuck! What we need is more women who swear.

What we need in Taiwan is more women who swear.

I don't mean that literally. I don't actually mean that more women in Taiwan should go around spouting colorful obscenities (although that would be quite enjoyable - I'd fit in more for sure!). I mean it more like this:

Culturally speaking, actions, preferences and attitudes feel to me to be more gender-specific in Taiwan. Obviously this doesn't mean every individual follows a prescribed set of rigid gender norms, just that this seems to be at work on a general level. One of these gender-segregated activities is swearing - a few things people have said to me regarding women swearing in Taiwanese culture:

"Oh, I don't know so many of those words. Those are words for men."
"Jenna! You are a lady! Where did you learn words like that?"
"Women in Taiwan don't swear much. Well, maybe they will say bad words around their close friends but they won't really do that in public."
On the final day of the occupation of the Legislative Yuan, after most of the students had left, one of the speakers in the 'free speech zone' inside the front gate was a woman who said "Okay, I'm going to say something. About President Ma. Even though I am a young woman, I'm still going to say it. I want to say - Ma Ying-jiu, fuck your mother!"
"When I was in junior high school my female classmates would say something like, 'oh, I'm going to say this word, haha' and then they might say something like 'stinky vagina' and it was very funny because they were girls. But then by high school they stopped saying that. I don't think any girls I met said those things in high school or college."
"What does that mean?" Me: "You don't know that word? It's a pretty standard Taiwanese swear word." "No, I really don't. I think my husband will know. He's a man, that's a word men say."
"Really, you never swear?" "No! I'm a woman!"

I realize that what these folks said above hardly counts as 'data' about how often women swear in Taiwanese society. My point is more that I hear repeatedly that swearing is the purview of men, and 'ladies' don't do that. Whether or not it's strictly true (and it probably isn't as rigid as the above quotes make it seem), it is obviously a common social attitude or I wouldn't hear it so often.

The reasons for this gender-stereotyping attitude are pretty obvious: because it's gender stereotyping, and it fits pretty well with what most people around the world associate with 'male' (raucous, bad language, rough around the edges, burly, undomesticated, a bit of attitude, protective, a hunter, gregarious, aggressive) and 'female' (gentle, sweet, pretty, undemanding, nurturing, domestic, child-oriented, quiet, giving, refined)...

...which, by the way, before anyone accuses me of gender stereotyping myself, if you read this blog at all you know that I don't actually think any of that is true! Plenty of women are raucous, aggressive, gregarious and have a bit of attitude. I would say I'm one of those women. And plenty of men are gentle, nurturing, quiet, giving...I'd say Brendan is one of those men. Expected gender roles are bullshit - the paragraph above is more what people think about men vs. women when they have absorbed the idea of expected gender roles, not what's actually true. I doubt many would argue, whether it's true or not (and it's not), that many if not most people *think* this is how things are.

And that's just as true in Taiwan as anywhere, and I would say more so than the West.

So what we need is more women who swear - that is, more women in Taiwan who defy expected gender roles. Or at least, when faced with a divide between their personality & nature and what society expects of "ladies", will choose their natural selves over maintaining a more socially desired appearance and personality.

Swearing is just one example of this - it could be anything.

There are two things at this point that I need to clarify, lest I give the wrong impression.

First, I don't mean this in the "white lady says Taiwanese women should do X" way that it might be construed. This is something I'd like to see happen in basically every country including the USA. I'm only focusing on Taiwan because I live here, so expected gender roles here affects me personally. But every country and culture - or at least almost all of them - have gendered expectations of behavior that don't conform to individual personalities. Even if these expectations do somewhat match general trends to some extent (and I'm not sure they do, or if they do, that behavior was more more likely impressed on them by culture, rather than tendencies they were born with), it does a disservice to individuals who fall outside of the lines or don't fit the expected parameters to have a society that openly expects specific behaviors from specific genders. There is really no good reason for expecting everyone to conform to meaningless standards rather than judging each person as an individual.

Second, I don't mean to imply that Taiwanese women as a whole don't already stay true to themselves. I'd say that many do. I am sure that many of the women on the MRT with fake eyelashes, unstable shoes and done-up hair do all of that because they want to, and that women act however they act because they want to. And often next to a woman dressed up that way, I'll see another woman in a comfortable sweatshirt and jeans, hair in a ponytail, no makeup.

My criticism isn't aimed at particular women and how they act, because that's their choice. It's aimed instead at the social standards that dictate that some ways that women act are better than others - I'm not taking aim at women who don't swear so much as the social stricture that 'ladies shouldn't swear' or 'ladies should do X but should not do Y'.

I am sure for all my feel-good huggy-buggy talk above, that there is also subset of women who dress up more than they'd like to, or swear less than they'd like to, or speak out less than they'd like to, or pretend to be gentler/sweeter than they really are (a subset, not the whole) because they know that society 'prefers' these things in women. That they play up the X because "ladies should do X" and downplay the Y because 'ladies should not do Y'.

I am sure of that, because plenty of female friends have told me so. Or they have said that when they do step outside of those boundaries of expectation that they feel judged for it. A few have explicitly said that they feel judged for it more in Taiwan than when they've spent time in the West. Certainly, I feel that I can get away with more gender non-conformity in Taiwan as a Westerner and that if I were Taiwanese (born here or an American of Taiwanese ethnic heritage) I might get judged more harshly for it than I'd like. I already get obasans telling me about weight loss ('ladies should be slender!'), I can only imagine that it'd be more severe if I were not a foreigner, or didn't 'look like' a foreigner. I can imagine it because friends have told me it would definitely happen. I've already had a boss who tried to hint several times that I should wear makeup and heels (I wear neither - I like real skin and feet that don't ache and have the ability to perform the full range of human ambulation, thanks) - I can imagine how it would feel to not wear makeup to work and have the entire office judge me for it. I can imagine it because a friend of mine has had it happen to her.

I've already let out a swear (I do that a lot; I promise I don't have Tourette's, I just like to use the full range of language at my disposal, in all shades and colors) and heard 'Jenna! Where did you learn that? You are a LADY!', so I can imagine what the reaction would be if I were a Taiwanese woman and said the same thing. I can imagine it, because friends have said that such a thing would not be well-received.

And yes, to be very honest, I do - I really really do - feel more at liberty to challenge these gender-based expectations in the USA, to go for the gender non-conformity to a level where I feel comfortable in appearance, actions and personality. And local friends in Taiwan have said the same.

If we could stop doing that - stop pushing gender roles on people, stop expecting and start, I dunno, swearing - I bet we'd see a much wider spectrum of self-expression and gender non-conformity in both genders.

I mean, Jesus H. Fuckpopes, I'm sure it can be done, right?

Bluesplaining

But you don't understand! Taiwan is small and China is big. If you understood this complex issue and also the Chinese idea of what constitutes a nation and Chinese 5000 years of culture, you'd agree with me because the government says One China.

Ever heard of mansplaining? I hope so. And I know the (condescending talker + -splain suffix) meme has probably run its course, but before it goes completely, I want to offer up one more verb to add to the -splain lexicon - bluesplaining.

Bluesplaining is when KMT members and supporters (not all supporters, just as not all men mansplain) talk down to people with different viewpoints, condescend to them, explain obvious facts (and invent non-facts to explain as facts) and basically get paternalistic whenever someone posits a viewpoint that doesn't go along with the KMT's preferred narrative.

Note: in China, the subset of Chinese citizens who have been taken in by CCP propaganda do the same thing regarding viewpoints on China. Pretty sure the KMT just stole their game.

A few examples of the true meaning behind a lot of what these public figures say:

Student Leaders Are Very Naughty Boys - this guy's bluesplaining takes the form of "The students disrespected their elders. Their elders want to keep Taiwan safe and strong. They should respect their elders. If you don't think these statesmen have Taiwan's best interests at heart then  you don't understand the complex issue because you are a stupid silly youngster."

Then there's the KMT on nuclear power - where the bluesplaining sounds more like this: "You don't think that's a good idea because you don't understand the most important issues. Of course it is a good idea because we want to keep Taiwan strong and the only way to keep Taiwan strong is to do this idea, which will keep Taiwan strong because it will."

Then there's the KMT on "being orderly" -  "be orderly so we can continue to ignore you, and don't get upset that we are ignoring you. That's our right because we know what's best for Taiwan because we do and if you don't like it, you are wrong."

"We need to turn Taiwan from a troublemaker into a peacemaker by nurturing reconciliation across the Taiwan Strait" basically reads as "DPP nationalism is dangerous. If you don't support the ROC, you are a dangerous Hoklo nationalist troublemaker. Only those who understand that Taiwan is Chinese truly understand the complex issues facing Taiwan. Anyone who disagrees is a troublemaker. Troublemakers! Why do you always make trouble?"

Banyan is a consummate bluesplainer - this whole piece reads as - "But don't you understand that Taiwan needs a strong economy? You see, if we don't sign this deal with China, Taiwan will have a weak economy, and we need a strong economy because the economy" with a dose of "If you think differently, that's because you're a vagrant, a truant, a troublemaker or a moron. You see, Taiwan is really the ROC, which is a part of China because everyone agrees that there is one China."

Reported on by Frozen Garlic - "You are hurting Taiwan and mothers because you insist that the government should practice due process and serve the people. Don't you realize that the government has your best interests at heart, and so by doing this you're hurting your mother? You don't want to hurt your mother, do you?"

"To counter this, the KMT and the Executive Yuan (EY) have both announced they will soon establish “new media” units to counter “disinformation” circulating on the Internet and provide “correct” government information using the social networks that served as the principal means of communication for the Sunflower Movement." - that basically reads as ""You don't understand this complex issue. You see, not all Taiwanese think the way you do. The Taiwanese think the way I do" (all of them apparently). "That's why Taiwan will do what I think Taiwan will do" or maybe more simply,"Taiwan should embrace closer ties with China because that's what I want and people who don't want it are wrong."

I could find more links...an maybe I'll add them in here as I come across them, but instead I'll just type out how I generally hear bluesplaining going down:

"If we get on the right path with China, we can all realize our dream and the best outcome of peaceful reunification with the motherland, which is what everyone wants except idiots."

"You don't think Taiwan should reunite with China because you don't understand the Chinese concept of what a nation is or the concept of the Chinese people as a whole." (if said to a foreigner, they may add "this is because you don't understand our 5000 years of culture.")

"You don't understand. You see, Taiwan is small and China is big."

"Let me explain - both sides" (both governments, not both sides full of people) "say that there is one China, so there is no support at all for an independent Taiwan."

"The government says that the ROC flag should be the flag of Taiwan, and so everyone agrees that it is and nobody disagrees."

"Hong Kong has more money now, and so Taiwan should do what Hong Kong did. If you think that will lower quality of life, then you don't understand that I can make money. Don't you want me to make money?"

"You don't understand. Let me explain that China is big, and China said that Taiwan can only be in the Olympics if they use this flag, so the people think that's fine, because China is big, and it's the Olympics, so we have to use this flag because Olympics and China."

"No, you can't say that there is a lot of support for independence in Taiwan because most people want to maintain the status quo and if you posit that if there was no threat from China that they would want independence, you're wrong because I want you to be wrong. Anyway there is a threat from China so you shouldn't talk about that. Instead we should all cower in fear. If you think we shouldn't, then you don't understand this complex issue."

"But Taiwan has been considered a part of China since antiquity and our 5000 years of culture and Confucius and the Taiwanese are all very proud of their Chinese heritage and they all know they are Chinese so why are you talking about Taiwan as though its different? 

"Many Chinese say Taiwan is a part of China, therefore it is."

"I met a Chinese guy once who said that Taiwan was just like China with its traditions preserved, therefore Taiwan and China are inseparable."

"The US shouldn't support Taiwan because Taiwan is small and China is big so of course the USA should support China."

"The Sunflower Movement doesn't have a lot of support because I said so, and they are saying a lot of untrue things because I want them to be untrue, and you should ignore the media polls that say otherwise because they do not support my views."

"You are dreaming. This is reality. We have to be realistic if we want to face reality."

"No, let me explain to you. People only care about the economy in Taiwan because I only care about the economy in Taiwan and three people told me that, and one of them was a taxi driver, so it's true."

"Why are you arguing with me? Don't talk about politics! I want to keep it fair and balanced by presenting my viewpoint as fact and if you have a problem with that then you are bringing politics into the discussion."

"The opposition doesn't have a good plan to fix the economy, therefore we have a good plan, because it's a plan and we have it. If you don't agree, then you don't understand."

So, how *does* one dress to buy dragonfruit?

We have a cover!

Although it's just one story in an anthology, I'm mighty excited to actually be published (I mean, I've been published before in journalism - nothing fancy - but never in a book). It's not a full-on book by me, but hey, maybe someday...

It's not that often that one of these travel writing anthologies includes a story from Taiwan, but thanks to my own story, Gods Rushing In, that isn't a problem this time around. It's even rarer that the stories in question are written by women - a lot of the modern "Taiwan expat experience" books out there seem to be written by men with a strong male perspective, which, you know, is great, it's one angle - but there aren't that many female expat voices speaking up on the Beautiful Island.

I have a memory of reading a review for Stranger in Taiwan (a book I never read, because the way the subject matter was tackled, in a typical brobro expat guy way, did not interest me) with the line "Anyone who has been here any length of time will have had the same experiences and will instantly be able to relate to them: the hospital. The Girl. The Family. The Job. Touring with The Girl" and thinking, "wait...what? No. Bro...no. I've been here quite a length of time and of those, only two are something I can relate to - the hospital and the job. We don't all have the same Asian Girlfriend and Her Family experience." Not that there's anything inherently wrong with that experience, but these days it seems to be the only one that gets a lot of airtime.

Mostly it's my own laziness that has kept me from starting a project like that already, one told from a different perspective with a different voice. I always say I'll find the time, and then I don't. I would probably also structure it as a series of stories, but attempt to achieve narrative flow. But...laziness, I guess. That and a fear that although I have a lot to say, that nobody's going to be that interested in hearing it. Perhaps it's the Confidence Gap. Hell, maybe the confidence gap is the reason why there are so many "guy stories" in expat literature and so few female ones, and maybe I'm underselling myself and I ought to change that. At the very least I know I am not an awful writer.

Yep, maybe someday.

Anyway, I love the background design - colorful and bright, clearly a dragonfruit, but also artistic - and it's really nice to see what the finished anthology will look like.

How Does One Dress to Buy Dragonfruit? True Stories of Expat Women in Asia goes on sale on June 10th, but you can follow their Facebook page here and see a list of contributors here. Once the electronic copies are ready to be distributed, keep your eyes out for reviews!

Why the Earth God Is My Favorite God

Image from here

The best god ever.

As you may remember, recently we'd found out we'd have to move. I was stricken - although of all the things I value, the least horrible to lose is our greatly-cherished living space, I still felt sick at the thought of having to leave it when I didn't want to.

Well, things have changed. Although I don't believe in God, or any gods, at least one of these supernatural nonexistent beings is awesome.

One thing I love about folk religion in Taiwan is that you can participate in it without necessarily believing in it. It's hard to wrap one's head around this from a Western mindset, but there is nothing about Chinese folk religion that has a problem with atheists praying at temples. I suppose it is preferable if you believe in the god, but if your question or problem is sincere and visiting a temple gives you some unnameable comfort, or is done out of family or traditional obligation, the act itself is good enough and the mind does not have to be behind it. If you're in Taiwan, ask your friends or students - some really believe, but you'd be surprised how many are agnostic or atheist or "vaguely spiritual" without any clear convictions, who see no problem in participating in temple rituals.

I know in a lot of Western cultures, worshipping when you don't believe is somewhat taboo. I have heard, however, that in some Jewish circles it's fine: you can be an atheist and still participate in the culturally prescribed rituals, but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong there. It seems to be fairly common among cultures where the dominant religion and the culture itself are so deeply intermingled that there is no clear line where secular "culture" ends and "religion" begins.

As I wrote in my last post on the topic:

Side note: one thing I like about Chinese folk gods like Tu Di Gong is that they don't care if you're an atheist. They care that your issue or question is sincere, and that you show up to pray. Even if you don't pray, they may help you. If you do, they may or may not, it depends on their mood or whatever heavenly politics they're involved in at the moment. The idea that an atheist could go to an Earth God shrine in Taipei and pray, despite not believing, is not irreconcilable in this culture. To me this is realistic (either a god will help you or he won't, and praying may help your case, or you may get lucky), echoing how things work in the real world (either you get lucky or you don't). It's a way to make myself feel better, and feel more connected to life in Taiwan. I can do that, and be an atheist. Thanks, Earth God. You're cool.

I also quite like that religion in Taiwan is not a closed-off thing. There's no conversion process. You don't have to attend meetings or go through a ceremony in order to be considered a true believer or "congregation member" of Chinese folk religion. The gods are there, according to local tradition, and you can believe in them or not, pray to them or not (but if your family is traditional you'd better pray to them no matter what, just in case). You don't have to be a believer at all!

And while it's uncommon, and perhaps surprising, when a foreigner goes to a Chinese temple to pray, it's not forbidden, nor is it particularly taboo.

So, when I found out I'd have to move, my Chinese teacher and I went off to the nearest Earth God (土地公) temple, which we were directed to by my doorwoman (who thought it was cute, but wasn't entirely shocked, that I wanted to go). The Earth God isn't a one-off god, every area has its own shrine which oversees property, moving, farming, business and other issues for that area and you have to go to the shrine in your area, so I figured it'd be best to go to the one my doorwoman goes to.

And, lo and behold, that weekend our landlady's sister gave us up to a year to move rather than the original two to three months. Thanks Earth God!

Over the next few weeks, we looked at 5-10 apartments, and liked only one of them. It was in our lane, so the neighborhood was the same. It had a different - not better, not worse, just different - layout. I liked the better-designed kitchen, separate living and dining areas, two large bedrooms (one could be both a guest room and an office), and two recently renovated bathrooms, one of which had a Japanese fancy magic toilet.  The downsides were refrigerator and washer/dryer spaces that didn't quite fit our appliances and some traffic noise, no outdoor casement for my bougainvillea, orchids and mint, and no window looking out on a courtyard.

We wanted to take it, but the agent's fee was one full month paid by us, and we had to move in almost immediately. Yeeeaahhh that's a big ol' sack of NOPE. We told him we were interested, but the highest agent fee we'd ever seen was half a month paid by tenants, and we couldn't move until April. He said he'd "let us know" and then we didn't hear from him for two weeks, so we figured the answer was "no".

About two weeks later I was doing my morning tutoring in Zhonghe (I don't do it for the money). My bus sideswiped a car soon after I boarded, and rather than wait for the next one after traffic cleared, I walked to Burma Street (華新街) for lunch. Then I grabbed a bus to Ximen, figuring I needed to pick up some more Imigran and it would be fun to wander around Red House and the arts&crafts market. I passed a few people bearing huge flags that said "Normalize the Recognition of Formosa State" and took some photos. At some point on my jaunt, my phone battery died.

I didn't buy anything at the market, figuring I needed to watch my cash flow if I was going to have to move at some point in the near future, and grabbed another bus home. This one stopped very close to the Earth God shrine, so I decided it was time to go back and say hello, thank him for his help so far and ask for his continued support. You know, like ya do. 

But this time I was alone, no Chinese teacher. It was a stuffy afternoon, with a pale yellow sun whose light felt blunted by the haze. The sky was that hot Taipei white that is neither cloudy nor fully sunny. I felt a bit weird - being a weekend, there were more people at the temple and I felt watched. Why would she need to pray? I sat at a bench at the far end of the temple enclosure. Is she just tired? Do foreigners go to temples? Hmm. 

Nobody said that - but I could feel it. Or I was making it all up in my head. I don't know. I still have a lot of baggage from growing up in a culture where it's odd both be an atheist and go to a place of worship. Plus, I still wasn't entirely sure a foreigner would be welcome to take part in this cultural ritual, although all of my experiences have pointed to the contrary. 

What's more, I really, really did not want to get involved in cultural appropriation - real or seeming. And I wasn't sure if this counted.

And yet by doing this, I did feel more connected to Taiwan. I live here, my "property" (well, my rental property) is here, and the god looks out over that property, and there's no set of rules on who can pray to him and who can't. I was looking at this as someone who wants to be more connected to the place where she lives and learn about it by living it, not someone who wants to take on the elements from another culture so she can feel cool or special. But I wasn't sure if that would come across to others. So.

I sat on that bench for a good 40 minutes, both gathering the courage to talk to a god I didn't believe in, and waiting until there were fewer people around so I could do so in relative privacy. After swinging back and forth on it, and feeling really out of place in a way I hadn't since I'd first moved to Taiwan 8 years ago, I decided to go for it. 

The way to pray is this: you check the number of incense sticks that go in each burner, and what order they go in. You light the appropriate number (it's usually posted on a sign near the incense). First you stand facing away from the shrine, toward the large burner in front - that usually gets a few sticks, this one got three. You should repeat your prayer. Then you face the temple and pray again. You can murmur but don't speak out. Add a stick to that burner. Then go inside, on the right (the side with the dragon) and pray to the gods inside and put a stick in that burner. Then there's a small tiger god under the Earth God - only at Earth God shrines - he gets a stick too. People looking to succeed in business will put their business cards around the burner down there. Then you exit via the tiger door. When you pray, you should give your name and address so "the god knows where to find you".

I lit the incense, walked to the burners and started the familiar murmur (in Chinese, although one would think the gods could understand any language): My name is Jenna, I live at Fuxing South Road Section....number...I want to thank you for...and I hope you can...

My phone had been out of batteries for about 2 hours at this point. When I got home and plugged it in, within minutes it lit up with a message from the agent of the one apartment we'd liked. The call was time-stamped at about the time I'd been at the temple.

I called him back - we could have the apartment on our terms! Yay!

I punched Brendan's name - he agreed. Let's do this.

I called the landlady's sister. And...

Oh, I was going to tell you. 

You were?

I found another place to live. You don't have to move. I'm OK in this new place.

WHAT?

I confirmed three times: so we can stay? So do we have to look for another apartment? So you won't move in?

Then I confirmed with the landlady, who didn't really know but confirmed later that her sister was telling it true. We didn't have to move.

We don't have to move!

It was probably a coincidence, but the idea that I'd find out right after I'd been to the Earth God temple to ask for his continued help (and to admit I still did not, in fact, want to move although I'd accepted that I'd have to), with the catalyst being a phone call that came at just about the moment when I was praying...that's odd.

A week after that, I got together some Ghirardelli dark chocolate sea salt squares, a box of brown sugar mochi (I hear the Earth God likes sweets, especially mochi) and three tasty ripe oranges. You're supposed to bring three or five things, and if one of them (say, a piece of fruit) is small, you should bring three pieces to make up that one part of your odd-numbered offering.

And the fact that the landlady's sister wouldn't think to tell us we didn't have to move until right after I'd been to the temple, in a way that seems kind of weird (you'd think she'd have called us once she'd made that decision - the whole thing seemed rather sudden) - that's odd too. Odd and wonderful, like offerings numbered one, three, five or seven.

This time the sky was a roiling gray, spraying rain down at random intervals like someone spastically turning a showerhead on and off. It was a Friday - the temple was almost empty. I unpacked my offerings - this time I didn't feel weird about it. The Earth God (who isn't real) did us a real solid (which was very real), he deserved this offering and I was going to give it to him.

Expat women! In Asia! In an anthology! With dragonfruit! And me!

   You totally want to read about this guy.

I've mentioned a few times before on this blog that one of my stories - based on this blog post - is going to be published in an upcoming anthology of stories by expat women in Asia (woohoo!). That was all very informal, but now things are being finalized and I'm proud to announce that the book - titled How Does One Dress to Buy Dragonfruit? True Stories of Expat Women in Asia - will be on the market this June!

Yay!

You can, and should, follow the Facebook page here. A list of contributors and more information can be found on the editor's blog here. And I am going to be totally shameless in saying that you should buy a copy (don't worry, Moms & Dads, you're getting free copies. But the rest of you should buy it). You'll (hopefully) see a few reviews on some Taiwan-centric blogs, including mine, because duh.

It's pretty rare that a story from Taiwan makes it into these travel writing anthologies, and rarer still that that story is written by a female expat. I can really only think of one other that I've read - and I buy these sorts of books all the time, so I would know. They're great to bring on vacation because you can read them one story at a time. In the story I try to address the female expat experience and progressive women's issues in Taiwan, along with thoughts on being an atheist in a country that mostly practices folk religion, and what happens when those three things collide at a temple festival in Donggang.

Seriously, you should read it. I think I did pretty good. At least I tried my best to capture the atmosphere of one of these festivals outside Taipei. I haven't read the anthology yet - eventually I'll get a copy - but I'm sure the other writers wrote brilliantly as well.

Anyway, so yeah. Buy the book that has my story in June. :-P