Taiwan Government Unveils New Drought Solutions

APRIL 1, 2021: Amid a worsening water crisis affecting central and southern Taiwan, the Executive Yuan has just released its emergency water creation initiative, to be rolled out immediately in affected municipalities. 

“It was a difficult plan to work out,” said Executive Director of Water Services Hsia Yu-lai, “but we think we have a pretty infallible and fast solution to Taiwan’s water woes. We’re going to do a rain ceremony!” 

The ceremony will involve traditional Taoist ceremonies in strategically chosen temples across Taiwan, with a focus on temples in the most drought-affected areas. After throwing fortune blocks to determine a time amenable to the gods, and finding volunteers from the local temple gangs to help perform the ceremonies, they are expected to begin within the next week.

Government authorities got the idea from Taichung’s Jen Lann Temple, a Matsu temple in Taichung’s Dajia district. 

“I told you someday I would be useful and have a good idea,” Yen Ching-piao’s son, who does something or other in government, said ecstatically. “Maybe now my father will love me.”

The rain dances, which are meant to cause the gods to bring sufficient rain to Taiwan and perhaps, if the offerings are deemed pleasing to the gods, even an early typhoon, will continue until rain happens.

Asked whether longer-term solutions such as dredging and enlarging or deepening current reservoirs and subsidizing the installation of water catchment systems on private and public buildings were also being considered, Hsia demurred. 

“Yes, we could do all of that, although it’s not an issue voters really think about when there’s no water short—huh, what were we talking about again?” he said.

“Certainly raising the utility rate for water usage is out of the question,” added Hsia’s deputy, Mei You-shui. “While doing that would certainly help decrease water consumption and cost to citizens could be ameliorated with the water catchment systems discussed above, that’s hard, and it might mean some people won’t be happy and they might not vote for us, and that’s the worst possible thing.”

Asked whether fixing Taiwan’s water supply issues would create long-term voter loyalty and trust, Mei responded, “Hmmm...mmm. But, it would be very difficult.”

In the meantime, rain ceremonies are seen by the government as a viable long-term alternative as well. 

“After all, the gods are always there,” added Hsia. “So we can always just ask them.” 

This method also has a lot of history behind it. In the decades when the KMT controlled both the executive and legislative branches, their principal water supply strategy was to pray for typhoons. 

“People say those officials might have been mass-murder abetting grifters and nepotists constantly on the make, but boy they sure could get things done,” Hsia said. “Remember the Ten Big Construction Projects? That’s a thing from history.”

“If they could essentially resort to waiting for typhoons and asking the gods for typhoons when none came, there’s no reason why we can’t continue their legacy. This is because of reasons. Also, Hsinchu Science Park.”

Typhoon Cookin'

We spent most of our day off yesterday at an ultra-fun Typhoon Party at a friend's apartment - which is just as 'vintage' as ours but in a much quainter way. Theirs is ageing like the bejeweled and makeuped star of Sunset Boulevard, ours is ageing like the tenement in Rent.

Came home to find not too much of the kitchen underwater. Much better than usual for typhoon - so much for "super typhoon" predictions, this one came and went with hardly a bell or whistle.

Anyway, we're having a curry party tonight; it's been a long time since I've cooked up several curries at once and even longer since I've made curry for guests. The last few dinners we've held have involved the very popular Ethiopian doro-wot kebabs I invented. This time I'm making sevpuri chaat as an appetizer, channa masala, a Malayali coconut fish and butter chicken as entrees (and might make baingan bharta if I feel like it, or might just make Iranian salad) and gulab jamun as dessert.

I've also been reading up on increasing the umami in foods. Umami is a Japanese word meaning 'deliciousness' - what it describes is the deep, round savory flavor of the best foods. Think great wine, stinky cheese (or very hard cheese like parmesan), veal stock, good paprika, grilled onions, clarified butter, walnuts, squid oil, fish paste, good yoghurt, tomato paste, cream, soy sauce, some kinds of seaweed, even grapefruit juice and shiitake mushrooms (though many mushrooms have it), and of course dark chocolate. It's that full, rounded timpani drumbeat of flavor that is the hallmark of really awesome foods.

It's also the main flavor of MSG - which, while I'm not convinced it's as bad as everyone says it is, I try not to cook with because a.) it's artificially made and I prefer to use as many naturally-grown ingredients as possible and b.) despite lack of conclusive proof, when I was young and before I even knew what MSG was, I was a frequent victim of "Chinese Restaurant Syndrome" - getting a headache after eating Chinese food in the USA. Fortunately, there are ways to bring out that full, round flavor without resorting to a white powder...just as there are ways to sweeten a dish without cane sugar or - gasp - high fructose corn syrup. For example: when making chocolate chip cookies use dark chocolate chips and add a bit of honey to the basic recipe, as well as a few tablespoons of cream. The honey heightens the effect of a sugar in a pleasing way and the cream works well with the butter to create a lovely flavor.

I've been trying to cook with umami in mind for awhile, which may be why most of my best recipes seem to involve a shot of alcohol. Julienned bamboo with minced mushrooms, red bell peppers and a few dashes of squid oil, a funky risotto with tomato paste and a splash of wine, like that. Judging from the effects - that is, my fiance gulping it all down (though he never seems to gain weight, what's up with that? - it's working. If we ever have a kid, I hope she/he gets my cooking skills and his predisposition to maintaining a healthy weight.

So I made the channa masala last night and I think it came out really well. I threw in a few things - just tiny dashes that the palate wouldn't be able to dissect and identify in that big stewed mass of curry (the sauce for channa masala is basic masala with tomatoes and onions). A splash of grapefruit juice with the lemon/tamarind I usually use (I suspect tamarind is also good for umami but haven't read that anywhere), just a half-teaspoon of a ground-nut mix we have laying around, a hint of olive oil in the ghee, a half-capful of mustard oil (it's strong stuff), a bit of paprika - I could use more of this because paprika fits in well with curry spices while the other ingredients don't, and need to be added in only tiny amounts. Mustard oil does, but only if you're cooking a specific set of mostly Bengali dishes.

I'm not sure if the little bits of this-n-that helped, but from tasting it this morning they sure didn't hurt. The channa masala has the resounding flavor that I was going for; not as perfect as the best channa I've ever made (for a random dinner party years ago, when I wasn't that great a cook and just got lucky) but far, far better than anything you'll find at an Indian restaurant here and much better than my earliest attempts at Indian cooking.

The thing is, I really am not convinced the little dashes of things did much at all. While cooking with umami in mind, I realized that Indian food is full of umami bombs that work very well if you just stick to the recipe. Instead of just using hot pepper to spice a dish, all sorts of flavors are used, which create a fuller, deeper spice flavor. Use of clarified butter as an oil/shortening and cooking onions and garlic in it before adding the main ingredients also works. So does frying potatoes (which is why everyone, around the world, seems to love fried potatoes. It's not the salt - it's the potato itself that gives us the flavor we crave) which are common in Indian snacks and some curries. Liberal use of yoghurt, tamarind and other ingredients boost umami flavor, and some combinations are worshipped as the gold standard of cooking, and there's a reason. It's quite clear, when you consider the effects of umami, why of all the biriyanis, mutton is the most popular, why vindaloo must be made with pork to get the full flavor (something about how the pork fat interacts with the vinegar), why butter chicken seems to be the most addictive chicken curry dish, and why sambar (full of grilled-then-cooked lentils) is such a hit in southern India.

So really, for any Indian recipes you want to try out, just get a great cook - almost any Indian mom will do - to show you how and stick to what she tells you. It doesn't really get better than that.

Typhoon Jangmi

Here's a really boring video for you, taken when we went to buy provisions to ride out Typhoon Jangmi (currently causing our living room to leak).

I know it's not this exciting thing where I'm grabbing onto trees as cars are carried by the wind and floods...but I'm not inclined to go back out.

Though apparently just that is happening on the east coast now, and I wouldn't wish that on Taipei (or those affected on the east coast who have to go through it).



The storm is getting worse in Taipei as evening rolls in, marking 2 alternating weekends of being stuck at home in the middle of a typhoon. Our kitchen is a pond, our living room (which has no outside walls or windows - it looks out onto the kitchen) is leaking, and for once we're actually worried about losing power. Wellcome is sandbagged and they're taping up the windows. Water is in the aisles as well as some nasty brown stuff that I presume is from a broken soy sauce container. The customers looked shell-shocked, the checkout guy weary, and the doors are sandbagged as is normal during a typhoon.

ICRT's typhoon alert says that motorcyclists can't ride around in downtown Taipei anymore, but, ahh...they were definitely out in the lanes of Jingmei.

...and to think, I was promised free post-Ramadan Punjabi food tonight! Damn!

Typhoon Sinlaku

I.
Am.
So.
Bored.

I have asked the fine folks at Lonely Planet's Thorn Tree YC branch to entertain me with videos of dancing monkeys. For all of you out there who are just as bored as me, stuck indoors while the lame typhoon sort of rages on (and off, and on), here they are:

dancing monkeys

more dancing monkeys


and still more dancing monkeys

Enjoy!

The typhoon isn't getting much press because Galveston is so much worse off...but it's not fun. It's about the same strength as Hurricane Ike but without the killer eye and storm surge. There's also the fact that Taiwan handles these storms better than the USA, and because we're in Asia (not the USA), we don't get as much international coverage. There's less damage because the Taiwanese are quite used to it all and built cities that can withstand the typhoons.

Yay Taiwan!

Ahem. So yes. I am bored. We went out earlier and rented 6 movies and 1 season of a TV show but that's getting old. We got a cup of coffee since we were already out, and did a crossword. We cooked lunch, enjoyed some together time, and cleaned up our flooded kitchen for the second time.

But it's only 8pm, and this thing isn't even going to make landfall until tomorrow!

So one day down, one day to go of HORRIFIC BOREDOM.

I feel worse for the residents of Galveston TX of course, and for my younger sister studying at Zheng-da. Today is her birthday and she spent it hanging out in a dorm room. That must have been fun.

I guess I could go clean up the kitchen, which has just flooded for the third time...